Weight Watcher is a Runner Now

It's Not Pretty People

2009-10-20T22:48:00.001-07:00

That ugliness right there....yes I know I need to repolish or unpolish my toe nails. Besides that, do you see the black coloring on two of my toe nails? Yes this is why I still can't wear my cute knee high boots and why I haven't run in 2 1/2 weeks. This is what happens when you buy cheaper running shoes a 1/2 a size too small and then run 26.2 miles in them. I know ridiculously stupid right? I slap myself for it. The big toe is still a bit puffy too. I finally could at least wear flats this last week. Before that was flip flops or open toed sandals. Also, I still very like I have sore weak muscles. It happens after I sit for awhile. I go to get up, and suddenly my inner thighs are yelling at me. Is this normal? I thought I'd be better by now.

Proud of Myself for Working Through the Hard

2009-10-17T17:48:00.000-07:00

If you used to follow this blog, you know that I haven't posted in awhile. That's because I was working harder than I ever have before. I went back to work teaching at the end of August. This was about 2 weeks earlier than usual. And of course that happens when I'm training for my first marathon. One of you readers commented that it would be the hardest thing I've ever done and you were right. I knew the marathon itself would be hard, but I underestimated how hard the actual training would be. Right know I want to give a shout out to all working moms who have ran a marathon. It would be hard enough training for a marathon without having a full time job, but adding my teaching job PLUS being a mommy and a wife I was pretty much spent at the end of every day. So I'm sorry about my absent blogging and commenting, but I've been on survival mode for a few months and am now just trying to feel normal again.

On my heaviest training weeks, on a good day, I'd wake up early to run 3-4 miles, get ready for work, the kids ready for school, work for 7 hours, volunteer coach cross country for an hour after school, come home and fix my family dinner, run for 4-5 more miles, and then eat my own dinner. I was eating around 8 o'clock nightly. Then on my 2 weeks of running 40-43 miles a week, I had to add in finding someone to take my oldest child to his soccer games and go to cross country meets that were 3 hours and finally add in an Open House. Again, I am still recovering energy wise and my marathon was two weeks ago.

I ran the Portland Marathon on Oct. 4 and it is a fantastic marathon. My husband went with me. We flew in on Friday morning, got our rental car, found our hotel, and then tried to plan a route to get there since many roads and bridges were going to be closed the morning of the marathon. This is a closed marathon which makes it really great. It has fantastic crowd support and is MP3 friendly. I could not imagine running a marathon without my music! We got to do some sight seeing Friday and Saturday. Then on Sunday morning I was up at 4:45 am to get dressed. They told me that even though the marathon started at 7 am, we should be there before 6 and she didn't mean 5:55! We made it into downtown Portland around 5:45 am. It's the first time I was at a race in complete darkness. It's not easy going to the bathroom in a port-a-potty in the dark let me tell you! I went to the bathroom serveral times and I was getting nervous because my 1st 1/2 marathon started when I was in the bathroom. I did not want that to happen again. I made it out with about 2 minutes to spare! My hubs tried so hard to take pics of me at the beginning of the race, but our batteries were dead. He got some more battries during the race.

I felt really great the first 9 miles. After that I started feeling pain in my toes. My toes normally get blisters while I run, but this was a different feeling. I felt like my big toes were going numb. I made two critical mistakes for this race. First- bought new, cheaper shoes. They were my brand but a cheaper model. I do NOT know what I was thinking. I guess I thought since they were Saucony they would be good no matter what. I think I bought them a 1/2 a size too small. Second- a new running belt that I hadn't tried out before running. That wasn't my fault exactly. I ordered it online and expected it to come in much sooner than it did. Twice while I was running the stupid thing popped off my waist and I had to adjust it while running. At one point, I was running holding my i-pod cord with my teeth while wrapping the belt back around my waist!

A marathon is a different kind of animal than a 1/2 let me tell you. During a 1/2 I don't see people stopping to walk, stretch, or puke like I did during this race. It's a fairly easy course too. Many people I know have ran this for their first marathon. I saw so many supports holding signs for their loved one, ringing cow bells, bands playing along the course. It was really great, but I just wish I enjoyed it more. My toes were hurting so badly and then my calf started to hurt extremely bad. I was worried I would have to get it wrapped, but I didn't. But even through all of that pain I never thought about quitting. I stopped running twice...once to get more water in my fuel belt bottles and once to call my husband to tell him I was almost done. Unfortantly, my cell phone had also died. Luckily he was there and watched me finish. I finished before I thought I would. I think I said I would finish around 4:30 but I came in at 4 hours 5 minutes. I think I could have broken 4 hours if it weren't for the stupid shoes! At the end, I was done. It was so hard to walk. But the volunteers are there for you there as well as medics. They gave me my space blanket to keep warm. It seems weird after doing such vigorous activity to eat badly, but that's what happened. They were there giving me mini candy bars, Grandma's cookies, bags of chips, string cheese, a little bit of fruit, and my favorite....a large bottle of chocolate milk! Then I got a medal, a rose, a tree seeding, and a pin. Plus, my coveted finisher shirt!

For a full week afterwards, I could not walk normally. I had to wear sandals or flip flops since my toes were so swollen. They are black under my nails which means they will probably fall off. It was weird to hear myself say, "Walk normal," while completely sober! I took the Monday off of work to try to recover a little. But still through all of that pain, I still want to do another one. Someday! Just to see how much better I could do with the proper equipment. And out of 15 training weeks, I am also proud that only 1 time did I not get a run in. I ran through pain, injuries, colds, and a vacation where I fell and thought I broke my arm around mile 5 and still finished my 15 mile run. I am proud that my body could do this. This body of mine that was once prediabetic, asthmatic, sleep apnea and infertile ran a marathon. Not only that, but I am almost to my goal of running 1,000 miles this year. This body of mine! I just can't believe what a transformation I have made. I am usually very hard on myself, but finally I am filled with so much pride. Before if it was hard, it was so EASY to quit. Now, quitting is not an option for me! Here are a few pics, but we don't have many due to technical difficulties.

That's me in the pink coming around the corner for the finish!

I underestimated

2009-08-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

So I am starting week 10 of my marathon training. I knew the marathon itself would be hard, but I completely underestimated how hard the actual training would be. I will be training for 4 months. School starts this week, so that will make training even harder. Currently, I am running 40 miles a week and running 5 times a week. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I usually have to do 8 miles and it's speed work. Those days are KILLING me! It's going to be tricky to try to fit in running 8 miles before my morning meetings on those days. I'll probably have to run them after school and I don't do well running with food in the belly. I will give myself props though for my long run on Saturday. Lately, I've been having to break my long run into parts so I was nervous having to do 16 miles straight. Last Thursday while running my 8 miler, I was dying and had to take at least 5 walk breaks. I think it was the time of day and running outside. On Saturday, I made sure to wake up early and the weather was great. Proudly, I was able to run all 16 miles without stopping! They were slow miles, but I kept saying to myself, "Slow and steady wins the race." I am the tortoise!

Another thing I underestimated when signing up was how hard a relay race would be. On August 14-15 I was part of a 12 person team to share the running responsibilities to cover almost 190 miles. How it works is, the 12 people are split into two vans of 6. The first van runs the first 6 legs while the 2nd van waits at an exchange area. Then the first van of people get to go eat, stretch, and rest while the van 2 runners go their 6 legs. You run 3 different legs over 2 days. Our race started on top of a mountain In Washington state at 7 am. I had to get up at 4:30 am to meet my team! Ouch!!! Our first runner got to participate in one of the races many contests: the wild wig contest. She had on a purple mullet wig with small little lights on the ends of the hairs. The second runner was in the wildest costume contest. Since our teams name was Team Roadkill, she placed a plastic bag over her that had stuffed animals with their stuffing hanging out of them all over it! I was runner #4 so I ran my first leg around 9:00 AM. My first leg was 6.1 miles. I had a sore tush from jet skiing the previous weekend so it hurt to run. The weather was not normal for August. It was actually a bit cold, windy, and we even got rained on. Not ideal summer weather, but with a van full of sweaty runners the cool weather was awesome!

We ate a light lunch at Subway before driving to wait at our exchange area. Normally, we'd walk around, lay out and stretch at this point. But it starting raining big time, so we all sat and waited in the van. Now running at race speed and then sitting for hours is not so great on the muscles. We all were stiffening up pretty quickly! I brought my marathon stick to try and roll out my muscles, especially the tush! When my 2nd leg came it was about 5:30 and it was getting stormy. The wind was blowing and then it started to rain on me. I didn't even realize I hurt myself, but when I finished running my 5.3 miles I had blood on the toe of my shoe. I guess the combo of bad socks and the rain caused a bit of blistering. When we all ran our 2nd time, we went for dinner this time at Applebees. I could have fallen asleep right there on the table. It was about 8:30 at night and I was ready for bed. We drove to our next exchange point where we were supposed to be able to roll out our sleeping bags to get a few hours sleep before our next run. The exchange point was at an amusement park. They said we could lay our sleeping bags out under their pavilions, on top of the picnic tables or on the cement and they were lighted. Since that didn't appeal to any of us we tried to sleep in the van. All 6 of us. Needless to say, none of us could sleep. We walked around a bit and waited for our next exchange. This was the best one yet. When our 2nd van came in our team all got to ride on a roller coaster as part of the race! It was 12:45 am, pitch black out, and foggy. I loved it. I loved it so much, I rode on it twice and held my hands up the whole time! After the roller coaster it was our vans final legs of running. It was now about 1:00 am. We were running on back country roads now in north Idaho. Now those of you not from around here, north Idaho is notorious for having a large hate ground compound called the Aryan Nations. Being a black woman, I cant' tell you how thrilled I was to be running in the middle of the night in this area! Our team decided though to send a rider alongside each of our runners for safety. SO when it was my turn to run at 3:30 am, I had a 6'4 tall white blond male as my rider. He's their kind of people so I felt a little better. My last leg was 5.5 miles. After that, I was supposed to ride 7.1 miles right after but I had a little mix up. When I was done running I had to hop on the bike and get my biking gear situated. Our runner didn't want to wait and he just took off. By the time I got ready, I had to pedal really fast. Finally I got to what I thought was my guy. I was talking to him, I thought he was answering me, it was all fine. Or so I thought. I rode at least a mile behind him when I came up on my van. I asked them what they were doing. They said they were pulling me off the bike, that our runner was way ahead of me and he was fine. I was confused. I told them that's not right I was with our runner the whole time. They said I was with a runner, but not OUR runner. I was a little delusional at 4:15 am I guess! After that leg I was out. I crashed out in the van, skipped breakfast to sleep even longer int he van. We got to our destination city where all of my team finally got to lay on some grass to get a few hours of sleep. They were giving mini massages 15 minutes for $15. Totally worth it! I was so sore!!! At one point, my reflex was almost to punch the guy because he hit a sore spot. But I did not. Then I set out to find COFFEE! I hadn't had any in 2 days!! I was dying. Our team ended up finishing in 29 hours. I slept a little bit more on the ride home. I probably got 3 hours total. When I got home I was done, I could hardly walk, hardly eat, and was so tired. It was a great experience, but boy did I underestimate it!

Regrets, I've Had A Few

2009-08-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

My hubs and I just had a four day mini vacation away together for our 13th anniversary. It was beautiful and fun but I had a revelation I think. Here I have been on this weight loss journey pretty much for 4 1/2 years (with a pregnancy in there). You would think after all this time I would have truly from my core changed my habits. Eating healthy should come naturally by now don't you think? But alas it has not. The 4 days we were away I was out of control. I ate things I haven't eaten in years. Plus, we went around to about 10 different wineries which did not help either.

When I drink, I let go of everything I know to be good for me. I call myself the "Cookie Monster." Remember how he eats by just shoving cookies into his face. That's how I get when I drink. So this weekend away from my kids the hubs and i were drinking it up. That led to me eating french fries on two different days. I have had fries at a restaurant in years. Then I had a burger. For some reason after a day of drinking wine, my body wanted MEAT. Now I will say, I swear on my life, it was the BEST burger I've ever had in my entire life. It probably had about 1,000 calories though. It has orgonzola cheese (which I had never heard of), some kind of chutney, and bacon on ciabatta bread. I could only eat 1/2 of it at one time, but I saved the rest because it was too good to let go. Let's see what else did I put in my body, a burrito, ice cream, 2 mini desserts (2 because they were in shot glasses so I thought why not but turns out I could only finish 1), a breakfast sandwich from Starbucks, and lots and lots of alcohol!

I think I've fooled myself that I've been getting healthy and not being on a diet. I obviously still have my fat girl mentality. I obvious have been dieting this whole time. Perhaps this is why my weight has crept up 15 pounds. Perhaps this is why I gained 3 1/2 lbs. in 4 days. Perhaps I need to make more changes than I thought I did. I used the excuses, "I'm on vacation," and, "It's my anniversary it's OK." Well maybe for one treat or one meal. Not to indulge in whatever I see for 4 days. That's not OK and I need to be able to choose wisely when I'ts food I have not prepared. I STILL have this issue that I need to work on.

While the hubs and I were away at the lake, we rented a jet ski. I have never been on a jet ski and it was really fun. We rented it for 1/2 a day though and boy did my tush and hips get sore! In fact, my right tush cheek still hurts. It hurt so bad that I could run for more than 5 minutes yesterday without winching. I had to take a ton of Tylenol and stretching before I could finish my 8 miles! It was also talking to me this morning, but not as much as yesterday.

I have a relay race that I volunteered for this weekend. I volunteered to do it without thinking it all the way through. It's a 12 person relay team to run 185 miles in 36 legs. Each leg is from 3-7 miles long. We all take 3 different legs. It starts at 7 am on a Friday. I'm used to racing on Saturdays or Sundays so I had no idea I'd have to find daycare for my boys. Also, I guess I didn't think about that I could be running at ANY time of the day or night. I could have to run at 3 o'clock in the morning. I could have to run when it's 100 degrees! I could have to ride my bike next to someone running in the middle of the night. I only know the captain of my team and I haven't seen her since high school. We ride in two different vans and I'm not even in her van. So I'm going to be in a van off and on for up to 35 hours with total stranger being all stinky and sweaty in front of them.Everyone says, "Oh you'll have so much fun." I even thought it would be fun when I first heard about it. But then when reality set in, it doesn't sound fun at all. I need my sleep! I need to shower! Holy crap this is going to suck! Has anyone out there done one of these races? Any words of wisdom for me? Help!!! I will leave you with a few pics from my anniversary trip.

Workouts-

Sunday- Easy 3.23 miles in 28 minutes

Tuesday- 8 miles, 1 mile warm up, alternating every 1/2 mile running on an incline for hill work, 1 mile cool down

Wednesday- Easy 4 miles in 38:06 + Level 2 Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred

The resort:

My hubs saying my nose got sunburned:

The jet ski:

First dinner out dress

On the beach

At Tunnel Hill Winery
At Tsillan Winery where I tasted the best Reisling I've ever had

Last nights dinner dress:

When Will I Learn???

2009-08-04T15:58:00.000-07:00

For those of you who may have stumbled upon my blog recently may not be aware that I have issues. I am fully aware of my issues and know that I am a work in progress. You would think someone of my age and semi intelligence that I would learn from myself. I do but on a very slow curve. With that said, I am an idiot.

Last night I was reading another runners blog. In it, she linked to 101 tips for runners. Being a novice getting ready for a marathon I thought I better read this. Many of its suggestions were to make sure to get adequate rest. As I was reading this it was 11 o'clock PM and I was tired. Did I listen to my body and go to bed? NOPE. I kept reading that link and then another and then another and then checked my Facebook. I ended up staying up after midnight. AND since it had been so long since I ate a decent meal I was then hungry and was going threw my cupboards to find something to tide me over. Here I am trying to not overeat, watch what I eat, and I go into an eating frenzy. On top of that, I KNOW I need adequate sleep for weight loss. But have I been getting enough sleep?? NO! Is there any logical reason?? NO! Tonight, I vow to be in my bed by 10:30 PM!

Having a horrible night sleep did not help my running today. Today is a quality running day that I was excited for. I decided to do Fartlek's (face paced intervals between 30 sec. to 4 min. with recovery time). I started with a mile warm up. I did it in 10:47. That should have clued me in that it was not going to be a good running day. My mind was tired. It made my legs tired. It made me dread the thought of 8 miles on my treadmill. My boys interrupted me several times. I made my own excuses to jump off the machine to do something. I finally finished but it wasn't 8 miles straight so I feel basically like I sucked again! I ran my speeds adding 30 seconds each time and recovered for 2 minutes in between. I am hoping if I get a good nights sleep I will be better tomorrow. On a positive note, my new shoes seem to be helped my legs a LOT! I still feel tender in my Achilles tendon, but the knees feel better. We'll see when I run on the street how the legs feel.

Workout-
Tuesday- 1 mile warm up, 6 miles doing Fartlek speedwork, 1 mile cool down 73 min. total

Did I Miss Something?

2009-08-03T12:59:00.000-07:00

I have been paying for a gym membership for 5 years. Every summer, I try to go to the gym. The summer the twins were 1 1/2 they did pretty well since we had a routine. Eat breakfast while watching big brother during swim lessons. Then get big brother, clean up our mess, and go to the playroom. We did this Monday through Friday so they got used to it. Last summer they would cry and cry and they'd come ask me politely to please get my screaming kids out of there! OR when they were having fun they would throw toys, not out of anger they like to throw things is all. So I tried that for 2 weeks and never go to workout so I gave up working out at the gym and started at home. This week, my oldest son has soccer camp from 9-12 and the gym is right between his camp and our house. So I decided to try it AGAIN.

They knew who we were right when we walked in which worried me. They were asking me what it was that they used to get kicked out for. One gal actually remembered their crying. Great. I said yes either crying or throwing or diapers or whatever. Well the boys are potty trained and have actually asked to go in there when we've been at the gym just to swim. I figured all of this was a good sign so I decided to try it again. I'm actually not sure what their problem was because they go to a daycare during the school year. It's not like they're new to daycare. But I guess different routine, different people, created different reactions than normal.

Anywhoo, I went to the gym today and was able to do 40 minutes on the Stair Master and 30 minutes on the weight machines. Now here's what I noticed during my workout; I know it's been awhile since I worked out in a gym BUT are weight machines now only for older folks or teens??? Because as I was doing my circuit, that's all I saw. Me and senior citizens, not that's there anything wrong with them, and one teen. Do younger ladies now workout in the free weight room? I gotta tell you, I'm scared to go in the free weight room. One reason is I don't really know what to do in there. Another is there are men in there making all kinds of noises and moans and groans that freaks me out. A third is it's a room full of mirrors. I'm not into staring at myself while lifting weights. Is it me? Am I the last woman under 60 that's not using this room? Granted, normally I see the older folk using these techno key machines that remember their settings for them. I noticed that all of those machines have been removed and they are waiting for newer equipment. Maybe it was the time of day. I don't know but I felt weird being 36 surrounded by people in their 60's and 70's only. The people that looked close to my age were IN THE FREE WEIGHT ROOM. Ack! I know people get scared and intimidated to step into a gym period. I get that because that's how I feel going into the free weight room.

So question of the day is, are weight machines for older folks? Should I get over my free weight room fears? Could it be a fluke thing?

Major props to my 3 1/2 year old twins who made it an hour and a half in the playroom without getting kicked out!!

Workout-
Monday- 5 min. warm up, 30 min. on level 13 aerobic endurance, 5 min. cool down climbing and lifting with 5 lb. weights doing: 3 sets of each hammer curls, bicep curls, flys, and shoulder presses.
Then 2 sets of legs with 15 reps each and 2 sets arms and back 12 reps

My achy breaky body

2009-08-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

My WHOLE body ached yesterday after my long run. My Achilles tendon, calves, quads, and knees. I was limping around the house. My husband was concerned that I won't be able make it to my marathon. I think I just need new shoes so I went and bought some. Normally I just go to my running store, they have my shoe and size on their computer, and I just get a new pair. Today, they were out. OUT! And my shoes won't be in until Friday. After how I was feeling, Friday seemed way to long to wait for new shoes. I tried on 7 pairs of shoes. I finally decided on a pair of Adidas Supernova Sequences size 11! Please, please, please let this be the reason I hurt. I am determined to do this marathon.

Another problem I had after my run yesterday was umm...how do I say this politely...runners tummy. For some reason, my belly doesn't like any runs over 10 miles. I know to not eat what I ate yesterday, but I think I am going to have to start taking Imodium before my long runs from now on. I just don't want to feel like crap after my long runs. Do any of you other runners get this way? I can't imagine you do because why would you continue to do that to yourselves?

It's the end of my 6th week and next week I'm going to be messed up. My hubs and I are going out of town for our anniversary, so I need to change my long run from Saturday to Friday. Friday is normally a rest day, so now I need to maybe make my rest day after my long run? I know it feels good to run the day after a long run to kind of loosen up the muscles, but I don't think my hubs will find it very romantic to ditch him for over 2 hours on our special weekend away. I will be taking my running shoes and Garmin with me though to get a 4 miler in at least. Any advice or suggestions are always welcomed!

Workout-
Sunday- Easy 4 miler in 38 min. avg. pace 9:30

Well That Sucked

2009-08-01T11:46:00.000-07:00

I went out at 9:30 to start my long run. That apparently was too late to start running today. It's 89 degrees with 29% humidity. I tried a new food to eat before the run and I think it made things worse. It was PowerBar bites. Around mile 4 threw up a little in my mouth. By mile 6 my calves started to kill! I had to stop to stretch them out several times. By mile 8 I was already out of all my Nuun. I found a water fountain to fill my bottles up with something, but it was hot water. My whole body feels like it's seizing up right now. I literally wiped my body down with a towel like after a shower and I'm still wet and sweaty! Ack! Last weekend, great long run. This weekend, I sucked! According to the McMillian Running calculator, I ran within my long run speed. But I feel like I'm cheating because I turn my Garmin off when I stop to walk. If I kept it going, my pace would be a lot slower. Any other runners pause their Garmins when they take a walk break?

By the way, I read Jen's blog today and immediately started crying. It took my breathe away. It is one of the saddest stories I've heard. I immediately went up stairs and hugged and kissed my mom and kids. It was on my mind a lot of my run which could have also been a reason I had a hard time today. Please keep Jen and her family in your thoughts. Here's a beautiful pic of my mom (r), my late grandma (l) with one of my sons when he was 4, just to honor her:

Workout-

Saturday- 12 mile long run in 1:55:47 avg. pace 9:39 :(

Rest Day

2009-07-31T12:13:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you, I work out at 6 times a week. On my rest day, I do just that. I don't mean I lay around the house and eat Bon Bon's all day, but I don't work out. That's because I think my body needs a rest and my long run is tomorrow and I want to conserve my energy. Even though I run 5 times a week, I am still not one of these running addicts. I don't wake up and say, "Woohoo I want to run today!" No. I run because I know it's good for me. I run because I can. I run because it's a quick way to burn calories. I don't LOVE running. I love how I feel when I'm done. I love feeling strong and accomplished when I'm finished. But during my run I wonder, "When is it going to be over?"

I think it's good that I sign up for races. It keeps me motivated and on track. I have a training schedule that I stick to. When I'm not training for something, I slack. I sleep. I basically turn into a sloth. I'll run here and there but not consistently. I need the structure. I need to have a plan of attack. I like that when I wake up, I just look at my running calendar and know what I need to get done for day. If it's left up to me, I'd rather read blogs all day, or play with my kids, or catch up on my TV shows.

Perhaps this is why I got up to the weight I did. I think I'm lazy by nature. I need to force myself to make good choices for myself still everyday. I would think after 3 years of being on weight watchers I would get it. It would just come naturally and I'd be able to automatically make good choices. Unfortunately I still don't. Everyday I have to have talks with myself, plan my food as best I can, and have a workout schedule. For me, I guess I need the structure and a plan. Otherwise it all goes to hell for me. Again don't get me wrong, I am now a very active person. Even after dinner I go outside with my boys and shoot hoops. I never used to be like that.

I also really love the competition feeling I get with racing. It keeps me motivated to get out of this chair and run. But I if I don't get a run in, I don't freak out. I don't go into withdrawals. I kind of don't even miss it. Well I take that back, if it's a run I need to do for my training, normally I figure out a way to get it done. But if it's just a normal day and I don't run, oh well. Isn't that weird? I always tell people to find an activity you like and then you'll be more inclined to do it. I love the races and I love the after affects that I get after the run, I just wish I loved the actual run more. Some days I do. I really loved running in the snow as crazy as that seems. Some days it just feels good and I want to keep going especially on an outside run when the weather is just right and my body cooperates with me. Many times running is just hard though. My knees and hips will ache. I will get either a tummy ache or a shooting pain near my collar bone that I think is gas?? Sometimes my legs feel heavy. But it is especially on those days that I am the most proud of myself for pushing through it and finishing it. I have never just stopped and called someone to pick me up in the middle of a run. I finish one way or another and that makes me feel strong and proud. I like those feelings. All of which is what drives me to get out of bed (when I'd rather be sleeping), put on my running gear (when I'd rather be eating breakfast), and get to my running (when I'd rather be watching TV, drinking my coffee, or again going back to sleep :)).

But today, on my rest day I plan on doing the laundry, go up and down 3 flights of stairs at least 30 times, doing the dishes, sweeping and mopping the floors, play hide and seek with my boys, fix meals, clean up after crazy children, dust, vacuum....you know, a typical rest day for a mom!

Workouts-

Wednesday- Easy 4 mile run in 38:25 avg. pace 9:37 + 20 min. level 2 Jillian Michael's 20 Day Shred

Thursday- Tempo run 6 miles (1 mile warm up, 4 miles tempo, 1 mile cool down) 52:50 avg. pace 8:40

Friday- House work and playing with the boys since int's a rest day

Smell Aversions

2009-07-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

One of the downers about running outside are the smells. I don't like to smell anything when I run. Maybe I'm weird but it really bothers me. I can't even wear my own perfume when I run. It drives me crazy. On my easy run on Sunday, I was noticing a lot of smells and it makes me gag a little bit. Here a few of the smells that I smelled on my run:

wet grass from the rain

grass clippings

weird evergreen/poky bushes
car gas and exhaust

some food from a truck stop diner

then some food from a Sikh temple- strongest smell of the day

construction equipment

animal poo

I have seen some brave people on their blogs post pics of their sweaty selves after exercising. So I am too going to be brave and share with you how I look after my runs. Believe me, I know I get smelly myself while I run. I don't even like to smell that!

My sweaty belly making my shirt all wet:

My arm sweat:

My chest sweat:

Workouts:

Sunday- easy 3 miles in 26:15

Monday- Jillian's No More Trouble Zones DVD

Tuesday- Yasso 800's I did 7 800's and 1 400 for 7 miles in 63:55

I'm Back Baby!!!

2009-07-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

I finally listened to myself and had a VERY successful long run. I was out the door by 8:15 strapped with my new, cheap yet effective Ironman running belt. On it was two water bottles full of Lemon Lime Nuun, my cell phone, tissues, jelly beans and a packet of vanilla PowerGel. I only stopped once this time and that was because I'm not used to these new water bottles and I pulled the top off and was spilling it all over myself. Even as I got to 5.5 miles, I pulled my Gel out of my little fanny pack and ate it while I chased it with my Nuun. It was about 70 degrees and the route I went had a lot of shade. Last Saturday, I ran at a 9:21 pace. Today, I ran at a 8:55 pace which is great considering I ran 2 extra miles. The running when its not 90 degrees helped plus I think the Nuun helped also. It feels great to be able to run again without feeling like I'm going to die, cramp up, or throw up! Now off to the lake with friends!

Workouts-
Saturday- 11 mile long run in 1:38:12

The Fresh Air Fund

2009-07-23T16:00:00.000-07:00

I recently received an email from a representative of the Fresh Air Fund. It is an organization that gives inner city children a summer vacation to a host families house in the north east area. Right now they are getting a half marathon fund raiser ready in New York City. They are in need of host family though that live in 13 states in the north east area. The host family would take in an inner city child for a vacation. The race is August 16th. If you are able to run it or be a host family it sounds like a great cause! Here is part of what her email said:

Last summer's NYC Half-Marathon was a huge success and the Fresh Air Fund-Racers raised more than $125,000. We are also still in need of Friendly Town hosts for next month. Host families open their hearts and home to a NYC child who would not otherwise have the opportunity to escape the hot, crowded city streets.

As much as I would love an excuse to go to NY I am unable to go, but it sounds like a great race to help kids!

Workouts-
Tuesday- Hill work 6 miles in 1:01:34
Wednesday- Easy 4 miler in 37:33
Thursday- Tempo run 6 miles in 52:54
Friday- rest day so going to play at the water park with my boys!

Weekend Wrapup

2009-07-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

Friday- Since I've been doing this training, it seems most of my mornings are spent trying to workout while also getting things constantly for my boys. Perhaps if I woke up before them, we'd still have a lot of the day. But instead, since I'm on vacation, I lay my lazy ass in my bed until the two little turkeys come to wake me for breakfast. So on Fridays, since it is my rest day, I try to make it a super fun day for the boys. Last Friday, we went to an awesome park we have in my city called Riverfront Park. It's beautiful. It has over 100 acres and a river that runs through the middle of it. It has a carousel, ducks and geese in the river, a giant red wagon replica that's actually a slide, a large train that tours you around the park, a gondola ride over the river, an IMAX theatre, and many MANY amusement style rides for the kids. We were there for about 6 hours in over 90 degree heat! The kids had a blast though. We went with my best friend and her boys so 5 boys running wild all together.

Saturday- I have been having the hardest time on my long runs. It has to be the time of day and heat factor because I'm never as miserable running as I have been the last 3 Saturdays with my long runs. As I said before if I were a smart person, I would run before it got hot outside. Well this Saturday was a scorcher. It was already 70 degrees at 7:00 in the morning. What did I do? I waited around, talked to my mom, snuggled with my boys, to finally get all my gear on for my run at almost 10:00! Right now I only run with a small handheld water bottle. A question to you fellow runners, do you run with a belt or a CamelBak? I think I would like the belt just because I can stash my Gels or jellybeans inside of it where a CamelBak would either not have that option or just make it trickier to get to my stuff. Do you wear anything? When it was late winter/early spring, I didn't need to take anything on my long runs. But with it being so hot, I have to at least have some water. When I started running on Saturday, my first mile was just around my neighborhood and I felt fine. I think a lot of the problem I have with running is mental. I think when I'm in my neighborhood I don't feel like I've gone far so I'm fine. The minute I start the journey away from the house, suddenly I have issues. I ran my first mile and ran back to my house. I crushed more ice into my little watter bottle and took a puff of my inhaler because I felt like I was having a hard time breathing. Then I headed back outside. I was OK for the next couple of miles but felt like I had a mild pain or something near my diaphragm. It was annoying me! Around the 4 mile mark I found a giant tree and I took a minute under it to enjoy the shade and munch on some of my jelly beans. I'm trying them out to see how I like them. They are delicious but the taste stays stuck in my mouth for a long time. They're Cold Stone ice cream flavored Jelly Bellys. I guess Gel kind of does that too. I drank some water and was back off. I ran up and down a small hill and immediately my left hip and knee were hurting. Not sure why. So started running on the other side of the road to see if that would help but it didn't. Around 4.5 miles I had to stop again this time for an intersection. I noticed that I was REALLY wet and sweaty. Normally I sweat but this was on another level. I wondered if it was because I put on both sunblock AND bug spray before going outside. I had a nasty little critter bite me last week and I didn't want to have a repeat. As I started heading toward my one big hill for the day I was quickly denied. The road was all ripped up due to construction so I changed directions to find another hill. I live in a fairly flat area, so I try to find as many little hills as I can during my run. As I was starting on mile 6 my right side was hurting bad. The road has a slight incline and I wondered if that was making it worse. Finally around 6.7 of my run I went down a very large hill. It helped to make up some time since I was running so slow! I stopped again to catch my breath, have a few more jelly beans and water, to then turn around and run back up that hill. I kept going this time until I was stopped again by intersections. Going the opposite direction on that road, my legs felt a little better. Maybe again it was just all mental because by now I only had 1.7 more miles to go. When I got 8.5 miles into my run something felt wrong. I knew I was thirsty but I was soaking wet. My shirt and shorts just felt drenched. It was probably upper 80's if not in the 90's by this point with not a breeze in the air. But for some reason, I started feeling cold and shivery. I knew this could not be good. There was no reason in this heat, no wind, no shade, that I should suddenly be cold. So I just kept running until I got to my 9 miles, and I ran just a little more until I got to my street where I walked the rest of the way home. My girlfriend and her husband were having a yard sale. I felt bad for running right past them without talking to them, but I was wearing a white running tank top. And I was wet. So...you know....I was probably looking like a girl in a wet t-shit contest and didn't feel it was appropriate to talk to anyone with areolas showing! When I got home, I had to wipe myself down with a towel. I drank about 24 oz. of water right away. I'm thinking it was early signs of dehydration? Not good whatever it was. I knew I need to have more than a 6 oz. handheld water bottle next Saturday. I bought some Nuun which needs to be mixed with 16 oz. of water, so I know I need to invest in something. Any suggestions?

Sunday- Oh lazy laziness. My mom had my boys so I slept until 11:00! What am I a teenager again? Holy smokes! Anyway, I woke up and knew I was NOT going to run outside that late again. I hopped on my treadmill and felt great. It wasn't hard, I was sweaty but not to the point of being obscene like the day before, and my knee and hip felt fine. Is it mental? Could it be that run the street running hurts me? It did help that my treadmill is the basement of my nice air conditioned home. Again, I think it just might be the heat. Please feel free to yell or give any comments or suggestion about what I need to fix. And I already know I probably shouldn't been running when it's so hot. I see people do it all the time though, why am I different? Just a weirdy I guess. :)

Workouts-
Friday- rest
Saturday- 9 mile long run in 1:24:04 blah!!!
Sunday- easy 3 mile in 27:18 minutes
Monday- Jillian's No More Trouble Zones DVD + 25 minutes Wii Active

What I've learned from my blogging friends

2009-07-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

I started this blog basically as a place to complain and let my frustrations out since my husband is over hearing about it. But it's now transformed me and it is such a place for humbling, inspiration, and education. I have learned so much from you fellow bloggers. I wish I could give credit where credit is due, but I just have picked up bits and pieces. Here are just a few of the many things I have learned:

Running blogs:

I have learned about researching information on Runner's World. It is such a great place to learn about pace, fueling, and training. Lately, they are linked now with iyoga to help runners with their stretching.
There is a tool called the McMillian Running Calculator . This will tell you paces to run based of type of run and distance. I have learned that I was running too slowly for my easy runs. Hey, it' called easy right? Well yes but it's an easy RUN and I was doing easy JOGS. So I stepped up my easy run yesterday and am glad I found this site early in my training.
That Gel/GU with caffeine equals tummy churning!
That I am not the only runner who has food and running issues.
Yoga can be a great exercise to add to my training.
I probably need to invest in some mace since I run mostly alone and dogs or weirdies can get me. Also I need to invest either in a running belt or a CamelBak. Would love to hear from runners what they like to use for marathons.
There is a stick you can buy to rub on sore muscles after running. I LOVE my marathon stick!
Oh and BodyGlide! This is great to rub on the skin where you may have chaffing!

Weight loss/Fitness Blogs:

To be present in your life.
Stop the negative self talk. Appreciate what you have and what you're achieved.
A perfect meal has a balance of healthy fats, carbs, and protein. I am really paying attention to my protein now and am really trying to view my plate like a pie graph: 1/4 protein, 1/4 starch, and 1/2 veggies and fruit. Last night my place was more in 1/3's : 1/3 chicken, 1/3 green beans, and a 1/3 broccoli.
That clean eating is ultimately the best for your body. Eating as little processed foods the better.
As a person diagnosed with ABS, I cannot eat the following things that I owe a huge thanks to my blogger friends for helping me figure this out: artificial sugars including aspartame, Splenda, etc.; chicory root/inulin which are in a ton of foods I love including ClifBars, Luna Bars, any Kashi cereals or Fiber One products; and most of Weight Watchers own products including their yogurt.
That I very much need to step up my weight training and not just my cardio.
That I have support and am not alone. I have read peoples blogs who at one time or another I've shared the same feelings of frustration, joy, irritation, pride, etc.

So thank you bloggers for giving me such a wealth of information. I learn something new every day. I appreciate all of you who read this blog. I am sure as soon as I post this blog that I will remember more things to add! Last, thank you for you followers. I have been told I am a source of inspiration which makes me feel good. It also makes me get mad at myself for not always being positive in my outlook. But I write what I truly feel so thanks to you who read my ramblings!

Workouts:

Tuesday- Easy run 4 miles in 37:44 + 20 minutes Level 2 30 Day Shred

Wednesday- Tempo run 5 miles in 42:27

Sweaty Sweatness

2009-07-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

I have been doing Jillian Michaels DVD's for over a month now about 2 times a week. They are not getting any easier. Sometimes when I'm in the middle of doing them, I swear if I saw her I'd punch her in the face. She is hardcore but that's why I like it and like her and I stick with it. Yesterday was my cross training day so I did my longer Jillian DVD again. After that and hiking on Sunday my tush is burning! I'm starting to wonder if there will ever be a day that I am not sore.

My knees and hips are hurting. Normally I would think I need new shoes, but looking at my mileage for the year and knowing I just bought these in April, it doesn't seem like I should buy new tennies yet. I keep wondering if it's the hiking shoes I wear. Sometimes we run downhill and I wonder if they aren't supportive enough. Then again, when I look at the miles I've racked this year it seems not accurate either. I've trained for a 10K, 1/2 marathon, and now a marathon so it just seems like maybe I missed logging some runs.

Today I did Yasso 800 intervals. Holy moly does interval running make me sweat! I mean dripping off my face sweat!!! I like these more than tempo runs just because you get a break every half mile. You run at a fast pace for 800m which equals a half mile and then recover at a slower pace for 400m. I did 6 800 sprints today. I'm still wet and I stopped running a half hour ago! I need a shower I stink!

Workouts:
Monday- Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones DVD 55 min.
Tuesday- 6 miles Yasso 800's in 55:19

Weekend Update

2009-07-13T10:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend felt great. For my long run on Saturday, it wasn't easy, but it felt MUCH better than last weekend. First, my knees have been hurting this week. I'm wondering if it was due to running down hill with my hiking shoes on rather than my tennies? I had to eat a little bit of food so I could take some Ibuprofen. After waiting awhile for it to kick in, it was already 9:50. This was a problem because I knew I needed over an hour to run 8 miles but I needed to get to Weight Watchers to weigh in before 11:00. There was no way I was going to make it if I ran all 8 at once. So I headed out the door in hopes to get at least 7 miles in and I'd finish the last mile once I got back. I'm sure this is not ideal for building up my stamina but it's what I had to do. I ran 7 miles in 1:03 which sounds good, but I had only 5 minutes to get to my WW meeting and it takes me 15 minutes to drive there. I was going back in forth in my mind if I should just skip it and run all my 8 miles at once and then weigh in on Monday. I was stressing because when you become a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers, you must weigh in at least once a month for it to still be free. I usually weigh in the first weekend of the month. Since that was on the 4th and the center was closed, it was getting later and later in the month and I really don't want to have to pay a weekly fee again. Knowing my Saturday leader though, she usually runs long on her meetings. So I went ahead and hopped in my car in hopes to be able to weigh in and buy some smoothie packets.

As I was pulling into the parking lot, I could see the crowd leaving. Yes I made it on time! First I have to tell you, my meeting is in a little strip mall and the first business in it is a Baskin and Robbins. I can't tell you how evil it is to pull into Weight Watchers and have to see giant posters of Reeses sundaes or coffee shakes! Are you kidding me? Can't it be a gym or Whole Foods or something??? Anyway, I got in to weigh in quickly. To my dismay, apparently they were having a sale on their smoothies so they were out! Ugh. I asked the receptionist, who is a marathon runner herself, what my deal was. I haven't been able to drop out of the 130's for a month and it's driving me crazy. People always try to say, "Oh you're gaining muscle since you're lifting weights and running more." Um no because it's not muscle that's hanging over my pants when I put them on. The positive side is that when I dropped all my weight I of course had to find something to not be happy with...I have issues remember! So besides the droopy skin on my belly it was my tush. It was now mostly flat except for a small little extra butt underneath. I called it my double butt. Well, I now just have one butt and when I flex it it pops out like Jennifer Lopez POW! But, I struggle to it into my pants. A girlfriend I work with has no sympathy. She says, "Oh I feel really bad that your size 2's are too small now." Well I'm beyond my size 2's. I'm lucky if I can squeeze into my size 4's of Old Navy which I honestly equate to size 6's. Again, did I ever in my entire life think I could even wear these sizes? NO! The point is, those clothes fit me 6 months to a year ago and now they don't. It doesn't matter the size, it's the principal that my ass and back fat are preventing me from wearing my clothes!!! Anywhoo, she told me to bring in my journal next week because she was curious if I was getting enough protein. That's the second thing people say to me when I bitch about my back fat. Since WW was out of their smoothies, which are high in protein by the way, I headed to another store that was supposed to carry Oikos Greek yogurt. I have head about this yogurt for months on people blogs, but I never saw it stores around here. To my surprise several weeks ago, I found a little 4 pack at WalMart of all places! I was excited and started using it in my smoothies. Of course when I went back for more, I couldn't find it. Not even a label of where it should be. It's as if it never existed. I tries 3 other grocery stores and still couldn't find it. So I went online to see where it was sold. I found out it's sold at all the Safeway's around here. I found that funny since I already tried a Safeway and never found it. So when driving home from WW, I tried another Safeway. I was so happy to have found plain, honey, and vanilla Oikos yogurt. I bought 7 containers and ate one right there in the store. I tried the honey and it was really yummy. This yogurt is not like regular yogurt. It has 120 calories, zero fat, and 15 grams of protein for the flavored and 80 calories for the plain!!! It is thick and yummy and I feel very full when I combine it with fruit or mix it in with my smoothies. So I will bring in my tracker to her, even though it's super intimidating to show someone your journal. It's like showing someone a peek into my soul or something. But I'm willing to find out how I can tweak my diet.

Sundays are turning into hike days around here. First I started with an easy 3 mile recovery run. My hubs is trying to run too. He has a hard time and finds it is all mental for him. He's been running 3 miles lately so I keep trying to get him to run with me. He never wants to because he says I'm too fast. Finally I convinced him since it's supposed to be an easy run for me anyway. Then he admitted right before we were heading out that he doesn't exactly run 3 miles straight...that he stops for about 10 seconds and started again. Oh well I finally had him willing to try so we went out. It definitely was an easy pace for me. We did 3 miles in 33 minutes. My hubs says it was a nice pace for him but he did stop like 3 times. During that time, I would turn around and run the opposite way and then run back up to him. I wanted him to not feel emasculated by me so running behind him rather than out in front would make him feel better! He still was mad though, he looked at me and said that I didn't even look like I broke a sweat! I did a little, but again it was an easy recovery run. Later, we went on a hike again in a new area. Not as pretty as the one last weekend but was nice. It's amazing how hard hiking can be and how long we're out there but yet only cover a few miles! Last, when we got home we took the kids swimming. Let me tell you, I got another workout. Not from swimming, but from carrying my 37 pound 3 year old up and down the stairs to go down the water slide about 15 times! My legs were talking that's for sure. Here's some hike pics for you to enjoy:

Workouts:

Friday- rest day

Saturday- 8 mile long run in 1:11

Sunday- easy 3 mile run in 33 min. + 3.41 hike in the hills

Tummy Tuck

2009-07-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

Many times after I mention my tummy tuck, I get comments asking about it. Forever ago I did a post about it here, but I will talk about it more now.

In October 2007, I got to my lowest weight of 117. I honestly can never remember weighing this weight EVER. In high school I was between 140 and 160. In jr. high I think I was 125. I just seem to have jumped over the teens. I should have felt proud, elated, and extremely happy about my accomplishment. I was happy for about 5 minutes. The problem was I still saw myself as fat. My undergarment of choice was tummy-sucking-in-underwear that hit me right under my bra. Granny panties! I wore these daily because I had loose flabby skin that literally used to sway in the breeze. I could feel it slap against itself when I ran up stairs. It was pretty attractive! Even though I was at this weight, I didn't want to wear tight clothes, swimsuits, or be seen naked. I felt disgusting! I would cry and fuss and stare at it all the time. I wasn't trying to be vain, it just made me feel like I needed to be smaller. My husband was worried about me. He felt like I was going to the "bad place" in my mind (anorexia). He very much encouraged me to see a doctor.

When I mentioned to my coworkers that I was considering it, they instantly judged me and looked down their noses at me. I was really good at hiding the loose skin, so they all thought I was just being ridiculous. I would get upset and frustrated. It made me not want to eat in the staff room with my coworkers. It made me cry constantly. Finally I started getting so irritated with people that I would show them. I would have to pull it all out of my undies and let it fly until they believed me. Their reactions were usually things like, "Oh," or "My old skin looks like that," or "So when are you going to get that fixed?" I know it was bad!

I finally paid for a consultation to a plastic surgeon. When she looked at me, she said in the 13+ years she's been doing plastic surgery that I probably had the most above the belly button skin of anyone she'd even seen. The skin above my belly button used to completely hide it. I would get infections in there since it never got any fresh air! In fact, right before my surgery it started getting infected again and then my surgery would have had to be rescheduled. I finally decided to go ahead and do it. I made the surgery appointment and coordinated it with my moms and hubs vacations so I had help. Once you get surgery, there's no heavy lifting for 6 weeks! This would be hard with two 2 year olds running around!

The day I had my surgery, my father in law was in the same hospital getting a procedure done. It made it handy for hubs to visit both of us, but kind of confusing for the nursing staff since my father in law and I both have similar first names...Michelle and Michael and of course the same last name. I don't really remember much except that when I woke up and started to walk around, you're supposed to walk hunched over for the first 2 weeks. I kept walking upright and my hubs would tell me to hunch over. For some reason I stayed upright and just squatted with my knees. He'd laugh at me and then lean me over to show me what he meant. The first few days I was in pain, but I've had two previous c-sections so it wasn't too bad. You have to sleep upright after surgery, so we made me a bed in an old lazy boy we got from the hubs' grandma. The chair was not the most comfortable, so the most pain I felt was in my back.

Now there are things I NEVER knew people went through during this type of surgery. The sleeping upright was one. Another is they insert drainage tubes in you to drain the fluid. The ends of the tubes collect the fluid. They look like clear hand grenades. They are MUCH bigger than I though. You can't hide or conceal them much because they are literally the size of a grenade. You have to drain and measure the crap that comes out daily! I had to right down the amounts because it's not until you basically stop draining that they'll remove these things. And they are a pain. Try showering when you have plastic tubes with giant hand grenades attached to them coming our of your body. We had to wrap them around my neck so my hands could be free to clean myself! Also, you have to wear a stomach wrap and it needs to be TIGHT. The one plus to this was I could attach my stupid tubes to it so they weren't being dragged around. I had to wear this things for the full 6 weeks. The tubes came out after about a week and a half. Also, under the tummy wrap I wore and electrode my doctor gave me that was supposed to help with muscle spasms. It must have worked because honestly, I was not in as much pain as I thought I would be. I made sure I was in really fit condition before my surgery to help. My hubs just thinks I'm super tough. I honestly think it was good drugs and the electrode that helped
.
The first few days after surgery I was basically in and out of sleep most of the time. My hubs was with me the first full week after surgery. The week after that was my mom, the next week his mom, then my mom again, and finally his mom one more time. It was really nice to have so much help not necessarily for me, but my kids needed to be taken care of. I also had a lot of appointments to go to that I couldn't drive myself.
If you are considering doing a tummy tuck, here are things to keep in mind:

Make sure you get a doctor that has very good references and you can see their work FIRST.
I would save money because unless you have loose skin that hangs past your pelvis, insurance will not cover the costs. Even if your skin does hang past, I have heard insurance only pays a little bit. This surgery can be $9 to $10K. There are medical loans you can get for a pretty low interest rate, but we saved and just paid for all of it at once. With my doc, you got a discount for paying cash.
Make sure you have HELP! At least one other adult the first few weeks.
Make sure you are ready to give up 6 weeks of your life! You have to sit and rest! The more you move, the worse it is for your pain and healing. It had a really hard time with keeping my butt in a chair for so long. It sounds nice to lay around, be lazy, watch TV or read books, but it got old really quick.
Make sure it's worth it to your spirit and well being.
Preplan and freeze meals for yourself.
Be as physically fit as possible. It also helps your recovery.
Understand that it will not be perfect. My tummy is not perfect. I've had 2 other mini procedures to try to help, but I still have scars and stretch marks. It was inevitable for me, but I've heard it gets rid of some peoples stretch marks.

I had a dog ear (skin on my side that was pointy like the tip of a dog's ear) removed and two belly button lifts to try to help my skin STILL around the belly button. It still sags a bit but over all I'm very happy I did it. I can wear normal clothes and more importantly normal underwear. It feels so good to be able to wear cute undies. That is a luxury skinny girls take for granted! Again for before and after pics click on my older post to see for yourself.

Workout- Run- tempo 5 miles 44:00 including warmup and cooldown

Seriously???

2009-07-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

OK, my hubs and I hiked for 3 1/2 hours and I had probably had enough. So how in the heck am I going to RUN for over 4 hours? I assume that will my time since most blogs I read have an average marathon time of 4:15-4:30. But SERIOUSLY!!!! I have never exercised for longer than an hour and a half (except for bike riding) ever! I can't seem to wrap my tiny brain around that concept. The last three miles of my half marathons you know what I was thinking? I was thinking, "OH MY GOD WHEN AM I GOING TO BE DONE???" And that will now be my half way point. What was I thinking? Am I mental? I always thought people who ran marathons were C-R-A-Z-Y!!!!! So now apparently I am a crazy one too.

I could barely get through my Jillian Michaels video today because I had 3 insane boys crawling on me, under me, running circles around me, trying to do my exercises too but leaning on me while doing it, etc. But I did it! And had an AWESOME smoothie afterwards:
1/2 cup froze mango
1/2 cup frozen pineapple
3/4 cup light orange juice
1/2 cup Dannon Light & Fit peach yogurt
1 scoop Flax

It was very summery and tropical! I usually have mixed berry or chocolate/banana/PB2 so this was a nice change.

Workouts:
Run- 4 mile easy in 40:50
Circuit Training- Level 2 Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred

Power and Choices to Make Changes

2009-07-07T11:25:00.001-07:00

It's the start of my 3rd week of marathon training. In May after my half marathon, I was all gung ho about trying a marathon. I felt strong and powerful. Now days, it terrifies me. I have completely lost my stamina since I hardly ran for the month after my half. Lately, it's hard to do my long runs without stopping. I NEVER used to stop running during my long runs. On Saturday, I stopped FOUR times! I must say though, I think I was extremely dehydrated even before starting to run. Then I didn't drink much when I left and it was 10:00 am and about 80 degrees! I did take my hand held water bottle but it gets hot VERY quickly. I even put a little bit of ice it and it was hot after the first mile. My mouth was salty before I went out my door. All not normal. Probably has something to do with the two 24 ounce beers I drank the night before! I went home on mile 6 to get fresh cold water. My whole upper torso was soaking wet. Now I normally sweat when I run, but this was something new. My arms were drenched. It was not pretty! After drinking a lot of cold water, I went out to run my last mile without stopping. I have GOT to start getting up earlier on my long run days during the summer or I'm never going to make it!

Backtracking, Friday was supposed to be a rest day. My hubs, son and I went on a little hike and did a little GeoCaching. I was disappointed though in my child because he started whining that his legs were tired and we wanted to go home. It was hot outside but it saddens me that he couldn't suck it up. It's beautiful where we were hiking and he always says he wants to hike with me. But when it came down to it, he just wanted to go back to play with his friends. To make up for it, my hubs and I went out to finish the hike on Sunday. It's a loop up into wilderness and then back around to more meadowy swamp lands. It should take about 7 miles to do the whole loop. You climb up to 2900 feet in elevation! Well we got to a fork in our path and decided to take the "high" road. Well this got up way off track and we ended up walking over 8 miles. And we forgot to put on bug spray, so I'm covered with 7 bug bites! It's such a pretty hike though. Here are some pics for you to enjoy too!

I'm still super sore from the hike, my yesterdays workout, and then today I did hill practice! My hubs and I were talking on our hike about we are both whining about working out and not losing weight. We decided that it's our POWER and our CHOICES about our weight. We both no this but it's so easy to give up or make excuses. No excuses here. I know what my problem has been:

too much munching on nonhealthy food
not enough sleep
bad eating on the weekend

These are my things to work on! Here are my workouts from the long weekend:

Workouts-

Friday- 3.5 mile hike

Saturday- 7 mile run in 71 minutes

Sunday- 3 mile run in 31 minutes + 8 mile hike

Monday- No More Trouble zones video + 35 minutes Wii Active

Tuesday- 5 mile run with hill intervals

When will I learn?

2009-07-02T19:33:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was awoken by two little curly hair blond boys at 7:30 AM. "Mommy, I need bwreakfiss!" Don't they realize their older brother had me up until midnight? My sons friend was too cute though. As I was lying out their blankets on the air mattress they were going to sleep on, he says to me, "You ARE the woman of the house aren't you? You work the hardest huh?" I now love this boy. My son tried to pipe up by saying, "I work too." And his friend replied, "Not like she does." He lives mostly with his single mother and she obviously is teaching him right!
Since I was up, I starting packing lunches for the day. I decided to take the older boys to a water park and take my twinsies to visit with grandma. At around 9:30 they came rolling out of bed to also ask for breakfast. I made it but also made them a deal....eat your breakfast upstairs and leave me alone to workout and THEN I'll take you to the water park. They were surprised and very happy to oblige. Until they needed me to get something. I must say though my kids only interrupted me two times yesterday. Much better than the day before! I haven't been to this water park since I was a teenager. It brought back lots of memories. I rode on all but one of the slides. Nice and refreshing on such a hot day. Plus, it was good exercise walking up the big hill to get to the slides. I did my part to relax by the pool also. A mama needs some down time.

Today though was another my muscles are so sore I don't want to move days. I idiotically started researching vacation places BEFORE running. Well then I was getting hungry but I don't like to eat before I run. Then the children came along and finally when it was time to run it was almost noon! No food and hardly any water...NOT GOOD WOMAN!!! I ate a bag of 100 calorie Emerald almonds and several handfuls of caramel rice cakes. After my 5 minute warm up, I could feel the belly ache. Why do I do these things to myself? Again it took me awhile to get it done, but I got my 4 mile tempo run in today. I was so sore it even hurt in my triceps today as I was running!

Workouts:
Wednesday- 3 mile easy run + Level 2 Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred
Thursday- 4 mile tempo run

Featured Post

2009-06-30T14:08:00.000-07:00

I have to give a big shout out to Lisa over at Workout Mommy. She did a featured post about me finding fitness while also being the mom of 3 crazy boys. It's always flattering when someone wants to talk about my efforts. Thank you Lisa and if you don't read her blog it's great!

Being a mommy, I had a hard time today. I was up late and was woken up early. Finally around 10:30 I dragged my tush on the treadmill. Today I had a choice menu of things to run as long as it was between 4-5 miles. I decided to do intervals. At first, I warmed up for an easy mile. After that I started with a 30 second sprint, recovered for 2 minutes, then upped it to 45 sec. sprint, 2 minute recover. I alternated between speeds 5.7-6 on the recovery and 8 for the sprints. I shouldn't even call them sprints, but it's pushing my limits for a period of time. I ended with about a half a mile cool down. What my treadmill said took 49 minutes to run in mommy time took almost 3 hours off and on. Normally my kids are better about bugging me. Next time I either need to :
A) Not be up so late so I can run earlier
B) Try to run at the gym where hopefully they won't interrupt me
C) Wait until they nap to run
D) Beat them ;)

All but D are all viable options. Tomorrow is a light run day, so I'll probably run and then do some Jillian and Wii Active. Getting to bed early may be an issue though since my oldest son is having a sleepover tonight! Ugh.

Workout: 5 mile interval running 49:20 under the Fartlek method on my Runner's World Training Plan

Wii Active

2009-06-29T23:12:00.001-07:00

So you know how you get those gifts sometime that make you think, "This gift isn't really for ME?" I feel that way many times when I get a "gift"from my hubs that I know I'll never use but he will. For example, one Christmas he gave me a Family Tree Maker CD. Now there's nothing wrong with family or anything, but I am not a genealogy nut like he is. I think that was the first thing he opened and he rushed to the computer right away to you know...install it for me. He's so sweet. Well, I have to admit, for Father's Day I kind of did the same thing. I bought my hubs new lighter hand weights (since Jillian Michaels is a crazy woman and is trying to kill us). I also bought him a Wii Active program. Do I think he will use it? Yes. Do I also think I will use it? I tried it out just today (before he has) and I like it. We already have Wii Sports and Wii Fit so I knew I liked the idea. I'd read about it in my various Fitness and Weight loss magazines and I kept toying with the idea of buying it. I was on the fence though because I liked my Wii Fit, in fact I was obsessed with it for awhile. But I am a busy working mom and the Wii Fit can take forever. There's a lot of talking in between and I just want to workout and not listen to a computer generated trainer give me the same advice, "You're strong but you need to work on your stability." My hubs and I both used the Wii Fit a lot this winter but have been on our running and Jillian kick lately. But I went ahead and bought it since it's supposed to individualize a program just for you.
Today I entered my weight loss and fitness goals. I also took a food survey to see what it said. Then it came up with 12 different exercises for me that I am supposed to be able to finish in 20 minutes. It also gave me the option of low impact, medium, or high impact exercises. I had choices that I could select or remove and it gave the estimated finish time and calories I would burn. I only selected 5 exercises since I had already gotten my butt kicked by Jillian, but when it said the estimated amount of calories I'd burn was 47 that was unacceptable! I did my 5 and then chose to do some more. I like that it gave both cardio and strength training choices. It was kind of like interval training. Tomorrow is supposed to be different exercises to keep it fresh. Also there was an option to watch a demo or not, so that could be a time saver. There didn't seem to be a lot of talking and button pushing between exercises either like in Wii Fit. I'll keep you posted on how I like it. I just want to keep doing strength training and running. I usually just run and I know that I need to strength train. Unfortunately, since I'm usually short on time I choose to get my running in and then don't have any strength training time. I'm working on it since I know it's important to my health AND should make me a better runner.

Workouts- Monday Jillian Michaels No More Trouble Zones DVD and 15 minutes on Wii Active

New Experiences

2009-06-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

I have only been off of work a week and a half and I have been working out like crazy! My hubs had a three day weekend and we did a lot together as a family.

Friday was supposed to be a rest day. I didn't run, but I did workout HARD. We went on a 5 mile bike ride which doesn't sound like a big deal. But when you're pulling 70 lbs. of dead weight behind you, it definitely burns the legs. My husband just discovered a new activity, well for us anyway. From what I've read they call it a "sport" but it doesn't seem like one to me. It's just really fun. It's called GeoCaching. To those of you muggles (nongeocachers), GeoCaching is where you get Satellite coordinates to a location. You can also get clues and information online before going in search for the cache. It's like a secret society/scavenger hunt/hide and seek. You find the secret spot with a compass or GPS device (my Garmin works). Once you get to the spot you have to find where the cache is hidden. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we don't. In a regular sized cache there's usually a notepad and pencil to write your name and date to kind of "claim" that you found it. Then there could be other things inside that if you like you can take, but you have to leave something in it's place. It's hard to explain, but our family had a lot of fun just trying to find these things hidden all near our own house! It made bike riding and hiking like a little adventure. We were out on our biking caching for over 4 hours! Our 8 year old is in to it! I was very proud of my hubs and I today because we were at a toga party last night. I've never been to a toga party and it was so much fun! But I have to admit, we were both really hungover. Despite our hangovers, we both ran 3 miles today PLUS the bike riding that was almost 8 miles plus all of our off trail hiking. We're trying very hard to be an active family!

Here's a pic from the toga party:

Workouts:

Thursday- Run 4.5 miles Friday- 6 mile bike ride Saturday- 5 miles long run

Sunday- 3 miles run + 7.8 miles bike ride

Trying to break some new habits

2009-06-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

I remember over a year ago being at a Weight Watchers meeting. There was a guest Leader that day. I remember her saying that she counted every BLT: bites, licks, and tastes. I remember thinking that was weird. Why would anyone need to count one little bite here and there. Besides, at the time I wasn't tempted to do that because I had stronger self control. But as I have become more complacent in my eating, I find I do nibble. A LOT! And it's usually off of what most mommies do...my children's plates. I'm only lying to myself thinking I can nibble and not count it. It's not a full meal and nobody saw me so it doesn't count. Really? You know better!
I have been working REALLY hard this week to not do that. I am still trying to fully potty train my strong willed twinsies. To bribe them, we offer sugar cookies with the frosting on them or KitKats or other cookies...basically we're desperate to get them pooping in the potty OK. Please don't' judge...they're 3 1/2 for crying out loud! (I also take them to the pet store too which is a cheaper healthier treat for them) Anyway, we give them the cookies and they love that the earn them, but they never eat them all the way. They leave about half left over. Now the last 2 nights I had those cookies sitting next to me. Staring at me! Calling for me to eat them. I was trying to to look at them. In my mind I was plugging my ears saying, "La la la I cannot hear you." I'd glance at them from my peripheral vision but then quickly break eye contact. Finally, I just got up and put them down the garbage disposal. That way I couldn't you know, maybe get them back out of the trash if they didn't really touch anything dirty. Not that I've ever done that or anything! I think what helped me was tracking. After each meal I immediately wrote it down so I wouldn't forget something. Since I did not have the 2 points needed to have that cookie, I did not eat it. Plus for me once I bit into that sugary naughtiness, I can't stop with just a bite, or two, or half of the cookie. I'd probably grab the other half and then find something else and then I've worked my way into a guild ridden sugar comatose! Not worth it! My hubs and I have said to each other this summer we want to get into the best shape of our lives. I can't get there with eating the BLT's and not counting them. Those little nibbles add up. And where they add up are right on my love handles. I don't need any new additions there. That space is already at full occupancy to me! I want some vacancies to open very soon if you know what I mean!
Today was day 3 of marathon training. My muscles are still sore! I will be doing a lot of stretching and rolling out the muscles. This is the first time I have worked on strength training with my running. I hope to not be this sore everyday!

Today's Workout: 3 easy miles in 33 minutes and 40 minutes doing Levels 1 & 2 of Jillian's 30 Day Shred. Earned 5 activity points

Daily points allowance 20 + 4 activity points

Soreness

2009-06-23T11:10:00.001-07:00

The day after I do a Jillian Michaels video I am sore for days. You know it was a hard workout when you are sore throughout the day. I used my marathon stick to try to roll out the muscles. My sons crack me up. They will pick up my stick and start to roll it on their legs like mommy. They also will find my weights, pick them up, and start moving like they're doing a squat! They are 3! It's too cute! It was good that I had an easy run day today because I am stiff. It helps when you have stiff muscles though to get them moving. The more I sit, the more stiff the legs get.
Today is the first days I've run for about a month. I always tell myself to not take a long time off because my stamina disappears quickly, but I took a month off! I ran VERY easy (slowly more like it) today. I ran 4 miles in 43 minutes. Ugh! But I was sweating so I got a good workout in. I love staying home in the summer with my guys, but I didn't run for 43 minutes straight. I have little men coming to me and saying, "Mommy can I puffs!" "Mommy Jacky hit my eye." "MORE JUICE!!" etc. They always want me to pick them up and then I hear, "Mommy you're wet." Yes I do get a bit sweaty wet...live with it dudes! It's so nice outside and it kills me to run on the treadmill. Right now I don't have a choice unless I wish to run pushing the two of them in a trailer. They aren't able to ride bikes yet. My only other choices would be to wake up at 5 am to run (hello I'm on vacation) or wait until the kids are down for bed (then I won't be able to go to sleep). So the treadmill it is. I may have to run on the treadmill at the gym though. Maybe I wouldn't get interrupted so much. Then again, when I took them last year they always kicked me out since the twinsies wouldn't stop crying!
It's feeling good to get back to training. Another thing I got back to was tracking! I haven't tracked for about a year. Maybe this is my problem with these 13 extra pounds. I wrote everything down yesterday, stay on points, earned 4 actitivy point for my video and what did I get for all my good work? I was up .8 on the scale today. I won't let it get me down though since it could be the cookies and ice cream I ate on Father's Day catching up to me. Well I'm off to take the maniacs outside!

Marathon Training Day 1

2009-06-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

What I find funny about my 1st day of training for a marathon is that I didn't run at all. I am following The Rookie Marathon Training Plan by Runner's World. Mondays will be cross training days. On these days, I plan on doing any of my Jillian Michaels DVDs, riding my bike with the kids in the trailer in the back, or the StairMaster. I did Jillian's No More Trouble Zones DVD today. I've done this DVD 4-5 times now and it never gets easier. It's a killer and that's why I love it.

On a completely different subject, my 8 year old son had a sleep over on Saturday night. Unfortunately, many things happened at this sleepover that I don't necessarily approve of. For example, they had a scavenger hunt where they went door to door to strangers houses asking for obscure things. Also, the mom took a mini van full of them to tee pee peoples houses until 2 am. When I picked him up I could see he had stuff on his face. I asked what it was. He said, "We had smores for breakfast." Ugh, really? Are you kidding me? So it made me feel really good when we got home that he and I made a really healthy brunch for the family. We made flax pancakes, eggs, turkey sausage, and fresh fruit on the side. Both the hubs and child are very picky eaters, so I was nervous about the pancakes. It was the first time I made them. Both of them loved the pancakes! I got the recipe from the back of my Milled Flax that I buy in a big tub at Costco. Also, I have never had a meal sustain me for as long of a time as this one did. We ate brunch at around 11 and I didn't want to eat again until 5:30! My boy definitely needed some fiber and protein. In fact, it's 10:30 where I love and the poor kid is still sleeping! That's not like him at all. Good thing we're off for summer break!

Scared but Willing to Try

2009-06-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

It's not quite official, but I printed out a new training guide for a marathon. A MARATHON!!! This from a girl who said she'd never run. This from a girl who used to say she'd rather get stabbed in the eye with an ice pick than run. This from a girl who said she NEVER had the notion to do a marathon. A marathon was beyond my scope of comprehension. Well, since I've done 2 half marathons I started thinking, "Maybe I actually CAN do this." Never say never right? I am completely terrified. Even though I've been running for about 2 years, I still feel like a newbie that knows nothing.
I have had several people message me about how I started running. I had lost all but 10 pounds of my weight when I really took to the gym. I started with the elliptical, then the ArcTrainer, and the rowing machine. The ArcTrainer and Rowing machine really got my heart rate up and made me sweat (which I like in a workout). I never really got sweaty or out of breath on the elliptical unless I had the resistance up full blast. I started reading my Weight Watchers books about how long it would take me to earn 4 daily activity points. If I did a moderate exercise, I would need to do it for 90 minutes to earn 4 pts. Now I am a mother of 3, 2 of which are twin toddlers. I don't usually have 90 minutes a day for cardio. Then I looked up what Weight Watchers considers High activity. This included jogging and running and to earn 4 activity points I'd only need to do it for 35 minutes. That I can handle. So my sister-in-law, who also used to be overweight, took up jogging and it really slimmed her down. Plus I watched Biggest Loser contestants running so I finally thought I'd try it. I started at a really slow pace, probably 4.8 and would try to run for 5, walk for 5. Then I'd bump it up the next time to maybe 7 minutes running, 5 minutes walking. Eventually I was up to 35 minutes. Once I could handle that time for awhile without feeling like I was going to die, I gradually increased my speed. I ran at the gym at first one summer. Then of course school started and I quit running because I let that be my last priority. Not healthy I know. Then for Christmas I bought a Treadmill. That was money well spent. My hubs and I run and it still to this day. Now that I've run outside though, I definitely like it better. I don't stop running when I'm outside. I seem to find excuses to stop and start a lot when I run on the Treadmill.
My hubs, who I love but is cheap, cheap, cheap, told me that a friend of his whom has run several marathons loved the Portland marathon. He said it's not too hilly and the crowd is fantastic. I like the fact that you can run with your Ipod. I can't believe some races will disqualify you for running with music. I couldn't do it! I need my tunes for motivation. So that's the marathon I am going to train for. I have 15 weeks which makes me a bit nervous because they recommend 18 weeks. I haven't really been doing much exercise since my half. I will officially start on Monday. I hope to truly make a commitment but next month!
Any of you runners out there have advice for me on training for my 1st half? I printed out Runner's World Marathon guide for beginners. Any one try that plan? How often do you eat during your long over 13 mile runs?

Has it been that long???

2009-06-18T12:11:00.000-07:00

Holy moly I can't believe my last blog was in April. If anyone will still be reading this and has read before, I get consumed with stress. The beginning and end of the school year just hammers me. My hubs just doesn't understand. I was at work on Tuesday from 8:30 until 7:30 just to have everything ready for the last day of school. He thinks if it's the last day of school I should have no more work and just be able to walk out the door. It does not work that way.

So I have still been struggling with maintaining my weight. It was so easy for me the first year. I probably was almost cocky about it. I didn't understand what was so hard. You plan your meals, track your food, stay within your points, exercise. As I type it it still sounds simple. But ever since my surgery last summer I have been up 10-18 lbs. above my lowest weight. I try to ask other people who have lost weight, "When you lost, did you get down to your lowest weight, and then bounce up a little to where your body wants to be?" No one seems to answer me. They either don't understand what I'm asking, haven't had that experience, or think I'm talking about plateaus. I mean when I was in the midst of losing I dropped down to 117. That's my lowest weight. Last year I had a tummy tuck and seemed to instantly gain 10 lbs. That still seems weird to me. I had a pound of skin removed, I should have dropped to 116 but instead I bounced up to 127. Lately my highest weight has been 135! I feel like crap at that weight. When I was 117 everyone told me I needed to gain 10 lbs. Well I gained that and then some and I don't like how I look or feel. I don't like that ALL my pants are tight. I don't like that I can feel back fat when I sit. I don't like it. So I am back to no longer trying to maintain but trying to lose again. This morning I weighed 129 and normally this would frustrate me, but I haven't seen a 2 in the tens place in awhile and it was a welcomed change. Here is a quick recap of the last 2 months:

I ran a 10K April 19. I ran it in 51:21.
I ran a 12K May 3. Finished in 100:02.
Ran my 2nd 1/2 marathon and got a PR! Finished in 01:47:04.5. This time I raced I felt great afterwards. My first race I had to lay in be for 6 hours due to rotten gut! I'm pretty sure it was eating GU with caffeine that hurt my tummy. I had GU this race plus Imodium before my race and it helped tremendously.
Went to a family reunion in Atlanta with my husband and oldest son to meet family I'd never met. It was amazing.
Signed up for a 12 person relay race that's 190 miles long. I did not think it all the way through. It's a 2 day race which means I could have a leg at 2:00 in the morning! Well it will be an experience.
I am trying to eat more clean. Not that I eat bad, my I find myself snacking off my children's plates. I need to stop eating as many crackers and thing like that!

So have any of you lost weight but your body couldn't maintain it and you gained a little bit more? Maybe it's just me. Everyone keeps telling me this must be where my body wants to be but I don't receive that well.

Back at it!

2009-04-12T19:59:00.000-07:00

Well I am finally feeling better but still am not completely 100%. I went back to running a week ago. It probably was not the smartest thing I've ever done. I had only run about 3 1/2 miles in a week and a half and then I decided to try my long run. I ran for 8 miles in 71 minutes. I was extremely happy with this time after not running much. So now I'm back on my 1/2 marathon training schedule. I need to add some hills into my workouts, so I mapped a few new routes. I happen to work on a long hill, so I will run up and down it at least once a week. The hill is about 2.5 miles top to bottom!
Also, I bought Jillian Michaels' 30 day Shred since I saw so many bloggers talk about it. It is a pretty good workout. I don't sweat or anything, but it combines weights, cardio and abs. It's just 20 minutes, but you work the whole time. She has 3 levels. I think I'll do one more week on level one since I have a weaker upper body than lower body. This is a main goal for me...not to just do cardio. I really need to add strength training to my workouts. Last year, I was 10 lbs. lighter, but I ran hard everyday. Though I was as small as I've ever been, I know this is not good on my joints or knees so I don't run every day anymore. I am up to 4 times a week now, but I need to workout more than that. The off days is where I will be strength training. I still like to do my Wii Fit, but it's more resistance than strength I would say. I have been using my new marathon stick to roll out my muscles after running. I love it! My sons love it to unfortunately so I have to search for it each time because they run off with it!
I was very happy that the Easter bunny brought healthy treats to my sons. They got new soccer balls, a goal net, soft bats, soft baseballs, and pitching machine, and a jump rope. They got yummy naughty treats too, but they went out side in their jammies this morning to play baseball and soccer. I love it! My 3 year olds always want to exercise with mommy. The funny this is, they are usually naked when they do it. It's hard to do Pilates when I'm laughing at my naked 3 year olds lifting their legs like mommy! They are also always picking up my hand weights. I'm worried they are going to drop them on their toes one of these days! But hopefully my active lifestyle is rubbing off on them!

Workouts-
Last Sunday- Ran 8 miles 71 minutes
Monday- Level 1 30 day Shred
Tuesday- Ran 3.5 miles
Wednesday- Level 1 30 Day Shred
Thursday- Ran 1 mile warm up, 5 miles tempo, 1 mile cool down
Friday- Ran 2 miles with hill work
Saturday- rest
This Sunday- Ran 9 miles in 79 minutes...Need new shoes since knees are starting to hurt!

Feeling the Love

2009-04-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

Wow you blogger buddies of mine really know how to make a girl feel loved. First, my blogger friend Purple Moonflower nominated me for this award:I have to name 7 things I love and then 7 blogs I love. So here they are:

I love my family (husband, kids, and mom).

I love my job.

I love Weight Watchers and how it's helped me be a healthy person.

I love running until I'm nice and sweaty.

I love to dance and music that makes me want to dance.

I love a nice hot bubble bath.

I love our Wii Fit Sports.

Now for bloggers I love. I have some new favs that I'd like to share the love to:

Marcy @ I Signed Up for This? for her humor, love of running, and all things trashtastic.

Lauren @ Weight Watchers Changed My Life for her tips and inspiration.

Sheryl @ *Bitch Cakes*: A Neurotic Glamour Girl's Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures for more Weight Watchers tips...especially if I miss a meeting she has a summary every week!

Annette @ Annette's Awakening because she's lost 85 lb.s so far completely on her own and she is so positive!

Natalie @ Lil Runner because she's a new mom and just an awesome athlete! She ran throughout her pregnancy and is doing the Boston Marathon soon and she just gave birth in Feb.!!!

D10 @ Just Running For Fun because she runs marathons just for fun!

Miz @ MizFitOnline because we all love and want to be her!

Second, I am currently being featured as an inspirational story at

Fitago.com. This is an amazing fitness site full of exercise, health, and food tips. It is run by David and his wife Cara. Hop over there and check out their site! I also want to give a shout out to David's personal weight loss blog. I love that I have followers that are male. We all have our issues right!?!

Thank you all and I am appreciating the love on this particular day. I still am sick and pushed myself too hard again Mon-Wed. So today I just feel blah. It's probably due to the lack of sleep I've had the last 2 nights thanks to my cough. I hate the way I feel waking up from NyQuil, but I guess I'm going to need to keep taking it since that has been the only way I can sleep lately. I moved to my couch last night to try and elevate my head, but I still didn't sleep soundly. TOM and lack of running doesn't help my energy level much either!

One more thanks and that's to you friends who gave me the tip on adding flax in the morning. I forgot that I bought a giant tub of it at Costco awhile ago. I think I gave it up because I thought it was adding to my tummy problems. Both yesterday and today I had some on my cereal. I am amazed to say I did not have a giant munchfest last night even when I drank a few glasses of wine (which I hardly ever do on week nights but I took FIVE kids to Chuck E. Cheese's by myself and I needed it). Maybe it's that morning full o' flax! Thanks all and much love to you!

Breakfast

2009-03-31T09:42:00.000-07:00

So if you didn't know by now, I am an elementary school teacher. When I have students who constantly repeat the same behaviors that get them into trouble, I give them this little analogy: Let's say I'm building something and I need a hammer and nails. When I go to hit the nail, I miss and hit my hand. I say, "Ouch that hurts!" And then without making any adjustments, I go to hit the nail again. BAM! Right on my hand again. "Ouch again." Do you think I would continue this on and on and on? No! I'm going to move my hand, or watch what I'm doing, or reposition myself. I am going to make some sort of change so I don't keep hurting myself over and over and over. So now when I see them doing the same naughty behavior I ask them, "Why do you keep hitting yourself in the hand?" Well I need to ask myself that same question when it comes to breakfast.

I am a HUGE believer in eating breakfast in the morning. My problem is that when I'm in a hurry I don't eat the right kind of breakfast and it's basically the same as no breakfast at all. The days I don't eat a good breakfast are the days I notice my afternoon or late night snackfests. Yesterday, I slept in because well I'm sick and on spring break so I can! Since I slept in, I didn't have much time after getting all 3 of my boys their breakfasts, and milks, and juices. I was going to the dentist and wanted to eat something before leaving so I made a quick smoothie. In the past when I've made smoothies they are amazingly filling. Yesterday, I wasn't thinking and I mixed together a WW chocolate smoothie pack, 1/2 a banana, 2 tbsp PB2, 1/2 cup ice, and a 1/2 cup water. The water was my mistake. It's more filling when I mix it with fat free milk. Needless to say, it did not take long before I felt hungry and I was kind of that way the rest of the day. I know it's important to have a good mix of protein, carbs, and fat. I think I am doing better and trying to check the amount of protein I'm eating, but I don't think I have enough fat. I've heard good fats and good for you, but they are a lot of points! I have a hard time mentally wanting to eat a handful of nuts for 3-4 points or 2 tsp. of oil for 2 points when I could eat real food for that amount! Typical breakfasts for me are:

2 packs of Weight Control oatmeal (6 pts)

2 packs of Lower sugar oatmeal + 1/2 a banana (5 pts)

1 1/2 cups of Protein Plus Special K w/ 1 cup milk (noticed tummy issues so I stopped but very filling) (4 pts)

1/2 cup Grapenuts w/ 3/4 cup FF milk and 1 cup strawberries (4 pts)

1 bottle of no sugar added Carnation Chocolate milk (this is questionable since it's made with Splenda and that may be another food I need to eliminate) and an oatmeal pack (5 pts)

1 cup frozen berries, 1/4 cup plain yogurt, 1 banana, 1/2 cup FF milk, and 1/2 cup ice (this is from week 1 Eat Wisely book from Weight Watchers) (5 pts)

All of these are quick to make and eat. For awhile when I'd been running late I'd eat a Clif Bar or Zone Bar, Luna Bar, etc. Bars for me are both not filling and usually have Chicory Root, inulin, or soy which I'm finding are all hard on my stomach. Oh which reminds me, I just found this new coffee by Folgers called Simply Smooth and it's supposed to be gentle on your stomach.

So far I notice a difference. This might be my saving grace. I love coffee but it may be another thing hurting my stomach. I did go one week without coffee to see the difference. Oh I do NOT want to do that again!! I did not notice a difference, but I was also eating other foods that upset the belly. Sorry to go off on a tangent but my tummy problems are just annoying! Anyway, today I had my Grapenuts w/ 3/4 cup FF milk and 1/2 a banana. I'm drinking my coffee so we'll see how the tummy does. As for yesterday, due to having a light breakfast I noticed a box of CheezIt's sitting next to the computer last night. Needless to say, half of them are now gone. So today my plan is to NOT HIT MYSELF IN THE HAND! How about you?

Sick not Lazy

2009-03-28T16:56:00.000-07:00

I have not done jack diddily squat today and I feel like a bum. The funny thing is, this is how my Saturdays always used to be. Lay on the couch with my hubby and watch movies all day well eating junk food. We were literally couch potatoes. It was pretty sad when my mother had to take my son outside to play because I was too tired and needed a nap. I just need to give myself permission to chillax. I'm not being lazy, I am really sick. I can't even laugh without coughing up my lungs!

Right now, I'm doing nothing and it feels weird. I know my body needs it to get better, but it still feels weird. So my day has been like this:

Kids woke me up so I got them their breakfast
Read my Facebook
Watched my kids play
Ate breakfast
Talked on the phone
Laid down to watch a movie but fell asleep
Blog, blog, blog

I ate two egg sandwiches this morning with a cup of strawberries. I forgot how much I love those. It was 8 points for 2 eggs, 4 pieces of toast, and two pieces of WW cheese. That combined with the strawberries was quite a good meal. In fact, I haven't wanted to eat anything else until about an hour ago. That could be because I was sleeping though! LOL I was told by a friend today to take Vit C and Garlic pills every hour to kill my cold. Every hour? Won't I stink? I'll try it though since my Zinc lozenges aren't helping anymore.

Any other tricks or remedies for colds and coughs? What are your go-to's for feeling better?

A Blah Day

2009-03-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

So most of this week I've been proud of my choices. I didn't munch like crazy, didn't bust into my cookies, also didn't binge on my sons birthday cake. Unfortunately I had been too busy to notice I didn't have many good breakfast choices. I tried to eat what I thought was a good mix of protein, fat, and carbs, but I think it must have been just heavy carbs. I was out of fruit so not much fiber either. I ate 3 more points than I normally do for breakfast yet I was so hungry by 2:00 pm! That's when I did start the munchfest. I am proud that I was at least aware and didn't let it get totally out of control. I was probably 4 points over my daily amount.

Today, still feeling sick. I was not able to run yesterday. My coughing has gotten worse and there was no physical way I could have run 7 miles with 4 of them being sprints. I start coughing just walking around trying to talk on the phone. So I'm not in the best of moods already being sick, and then I discovered something else that bummed me out today. Our school was broken into last night and I had some things taken from my room. It wasn't an of my personal property, but I still feel violated and almost targeted. No other classroom had things taken and this person obviously knew the school and just where to go. Luckily I had taken my laptop home last night so that's safe. Needless to say I was in a funk all morning and what did I walk into on my way to lunch. The smell of deliciousness...PIZZA. Oh good golly miss molly just what I needed, to be tempted my trigger food when I'm in a mood. Luckily, a cowoker turned me toward some homemade muffins that she had made that were pretty healthy and low fat. I asked her what was in them and she said things like whole wheat flour, flax seed, carrots, apples, oranges, etc. Sounded good to me. So rather than eat 8 different choices of pizzas, I ate to of the muffins. I feel like that was a NSV for me!

Now we're on spring break and I hope to rest to feel better. I just get antsy that the more I rest, I quickly am losing the endurance I've built up for my long runs. My 1/2 marathon is in a month and a half and I want to be ready. It doesn't do any good getting antsy though, there's no stinkin way I could run right now so I might as well try to rest. Again, who am I than I am dying to run? Sheesh, I still can't believe how much I've changed.

Good Golly Miss Molly

2009-03-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today for conferences I had a parent bring a box of Starbucks Mocha as a gift for me. I thought it was so nice and I love coffee! Especially since I was supposed to go through ten conferences today. I was again proud of myself for not eating the cookies I bought for my families, but I did have 2 cups of the mocha. Um, I just got off the the Starbucks website, and I believe I drank a minimum of 7 points worth of coffee today! Are you kidding me???? I hate when I consume something assuming the points are reasonable and they end up being off the charts.

I was able to manage running for 3.5 miles today in about 36 minutes. Not my fastest, but pretty good considering I'm still not 100%.

I finally ordered myself a marathon stick to massage my muscles after I run. My kids are all over rubbing it up and down my back! I can't wait to try it before and after my next run.

Stress

2009-03-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Holy moly I love the irony of my life. Not really. Two posts ago I was asking about what makes you stick or quit. Now I haven't quit, but my weight turned to an all time high today that I haven't seen in two years! I'm quite sure it as to do with all of the stressing I've been doing over learning new report cards and getting them ready for conferences. Not only that, my tummy still has been drooping even after my tummy tuck, so my plastic doc did a whole belly button procedure. I have stitches around the entire perimeter of my belly button and it's made it really swollen. It doesn't make it impossible to run, but very uncomfortable. To top it all off, I am sick again. It never fails. Every time it's conference time I get sick. In the fall, I had a fever and they had to reschedule 15 conferences for me. Today again, sick with runny nose and cough. Hmm what's that tell you about me? I'm a freaker that's what. A panicer. A glass is half empty-er. I flip out so much that I literally make myself sick. And when I get in this funk, what is it I tend to do more of? Munchingggggggggg. I do have to say that my NSV for the day was not eating any of the cookies I had out for my families and didn't eat one of the pastel M&M's decorating the tables in the staff room. I ran for only 8 miles last week. That doesn't help things much. I am going to try to run a small 2 miles uphill tomorrow and see how I do. I know you shouldn't run with a chest cold and my cold is right inbetween my head and chest. When I can't run, I normally like to do weights but I'm nervous I'll pop a stitch out of my belly. So I'm in limbo right now. I'm crossing my fingers that the not munching today and a short job tomorrow will drop my weight a little bit back into a realistic range for me.

2009-03-20T22:14:00.000-07:00

Oh hum. If anyone is still reading this, you are amazing and I thank you. When I get stressed in my life, I don't know how to handle it well. I either eat, drink, or make myself literally sick to my stomach. The one thing that I usually let go of to save my sanity is blogging. I know I should do it because it always makes me feel better and is a better outlet for my stress. Maybe if I had been blogging, I wouldn't have been the human snack machine this week. For some reason, Goldfish crackers has been my biggest munchy this week. It is report card and conference time and getting ready for both is always stressful for me. I tend to be high strung though.

In fact, 2 weeks ago I was so overwhelmed I literally could not stop crying for two days. Every time my husband tried to talk to me, it just wasn't right and I'd bawl. I finally felt better when he offered to help and came into my work with me for 3 hours to help me get organized. I SUCK at time management. I am always amazed at the speed he finishes my projects.

Last Saturday, I ran my first race for 2009. It was a five miler and I finished it in 40 minutes. I got 3rd in my age range. Then when I got home I ran another 2.5 miles to make it my long run day. I have done shorter runs with toning this week.

After conference this week, hopeful I will be back to read all of your fabulous blogs and blogging myself. I will be catching up on all of your blogs soon!

What makes you quit or stick?

2009-02-28T07:48:00.000-08:00

So I have just been giggling all week over my hubs video (if you haven't seen it, please look at my post under this one). I wanted to figure out how I could show it to my coworkers. We have a collaboration day where the teachers get together and well...collaborate. Each week one of us take turns leading a reflection or an energizer activity. I volunteered to lead it this week. So then my task was to figure out how to make the video educational. I started think about how he would fall and kept getting up. Why did he keep getting up when it was clearly such a hard thing to do? I did it once, lost my top, and quit. So I made my theme, "What makes you stick with something even when it's hard to do?"

To start off, I had pics of me on table of before and after pics of me to remind them of what I used to look like. They always tease me, but I let them know how every day is still a struggle for me to make good choices. It's hard, but I stick with it. Here are some of the pics I shared with them: BEFORES:

AFTERS:

I had everyone choose one activity that was hard and they quit right away and give a reason for quitting. Some people said things like ballroom dancing because I have no rhythm or piano because I just didn't see the value in it. Then I asked them to right down an activity they've done that was hard but they stuck with it and why they were able to. Some people said things like smoking and to quit it took years of baby steps and behavioral changes to get it done. Others said learning about Reading Recovery skills and even though it took years to learn and was really tough since they saw the value in it and how it helped others they stuck with it. Another said it was dealing with her fathers death and what helped her was to lean on others and allows experts to help guide her along the way. Hmm that's funny, sounds very Weight Watchery to me. You learn from experts, go to meetings for support, have to know that you see the value in getting healthy and that you'll be able to keep it off, changing your behaviors for success, and celebrating the small successes. When people shared, I gave them a little sticker just like they do in my Weight Watcher meetings too!

Now what's funny to me is what started out was just an excuse to show my hubs trying to surf, ended up being an hour long conversation about quitting. I had a ton of teachers thank me afterwards for either helping them reflect on the quitting in their own life, children's or students lives. Also, some took the pics of me before and after to put on their fridge for their own personal weight motivation! It was very flattering and fun...all just so I could show my hubs video:).

A Quicky

2009-02-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

I'd call this an "afternoon delight" but it's 9:00 PM where I live. So my hubs and I had a total BLAST acting like kids this weekend. My mom watched the boys for us, like usual. We started by riding up a 25 minute gondola to the top of a mountain.
There, we went inner tubing down 4 different tracks.

They have an escalator to take you back up the hill. Kind of a cheat. Would have been a great workout to walk back up, but you can't cause the only place to walk was the bunny hill and you'd get clobbered by the newbies. Then we went to the water park. They have 3 big rides that all take inner tubes. This was a good workout because I made sure I skipped stairs and went up them as fast as I could every time. I had to burn off my margarita and mudslide! Luckily I did 45 minutes on the StairMaster before going on this trip! Then there was this ride that simulates a wave that you can either surf or boogie board on. You know how in my last post I was worried my girls were going to fall out? Well guess what...one of them did when I fell off the boogie board and the 35 mph water shot me to the top of the ride. I know some guys saw because every time I walked by they'd elbow each other. To tell you the truth I felt a little bad for them. I mean, at least if you get a free boobie shot it should be a nice boob. Mine now after having 3 kids and losing 70 lbs. are just skin really. I call them my tribal boobs (like in National Geographic). Nothing good to see here people. Shield your eyes in fact.

Now I know I have stretch marks and probably have no business wearing a 2 piece, but I felt good in it. So good, I'm going to show you it now:

I forgot about shoes so I had to wear my snow boots to get over to the water park!

Behind me is the ride where I lost my top. My contact got very blurry that day and I couldn't see (plus one too many drink didn't help). So here's how I looked at the end of the night with my hubs.

I am proud that though I was sore in the am and had a bit too much to drink last night, I came home and still ran my 6 miles in 55 minutes! Not bad on a hangover.

And now for the best part. If any of you are down, sad, depressed, I invite you to watch this video of my hubs. It makes me laugh until I cry. I can't get enough of it. It shows true heart and tenacity.

This video is kind of symbolic for my weight loss/health journey. At first you don't succeed, you fall on your face, butt, arse, etc, but you pick yourself up and try again!

Thanks again blogger buddies

2009-02-19T21:11:00.000-08:00

So thanks all for the advice. Also, thank you to you followers old and new. It's so flattering to see others want to read my babble.
I should bring the ingredients to school to have a little egg white omelet mini meal after school. I just liked the IDEA of bars with protein. But they really don't fill me, so I need to get another after lunch snack/meal. I have been better the rest of the week perhaps since I've been back to work.
I had my second day of 1/2 training today and I STRUGGLED. I ran 1 mile for a warm up at an easy pace. Then I ran 3 miles at a tempo speed which means a speed that pushes your stamina beyond your normal run. I had to stop twice to alleviate my side aches. Finally, I finished with a 1 mile cool down. I ended up running 5 miles in about 45 minutes. I did run at night and this was why I usually avoided it. It's hard for my temperamental tummy to run with food in it. I was a hot sweaty mess when I was done. On my off days, I am trying to add more toning and strength training. Yesterday I busted out my old Windsor Pilates DVD's and did the hips and thighs one then the abs one. I love that even though you don't lift weights with these moves, they are still very challenging.
On a scarier note, I went bathing suit shopping last weekend. I kept telling myself I'd have to wear a one piece to hid my stretch marks. But the one pieces I liked had the back or sides cut out and my scar still showed. So I found a higher cut bikini bottom and hid my tummy tuck scars and a bikini top I like. I'm just nervous at my age a- I have no business wearing it and b- I still have some stretchmarks. But, I feel good that I have a flat stomach now that looks good in a bikini. The last time I wore a bikini I had no business wearing one. Someone really should have told me. So, I bought one and will use it on an indoor water park this weekend. Now I wish I bought the sportier one to keep the "girls" from flying out while rushing down a water slide. I don't want to flash any children ya know!

Munchies

2009-02-17T21:50:00.000-08:00

For some strange reason I had the munchies yesterday. I have upped my protein, but yet I just wanted to munch yesterday. I'm not sure if it was boredom since I was home instead of at work, or a reaction to having a long run on Sunday since I haven't had one in two weeks. I just don't know. I didn't work out at all yesterday. I had my normal protein cereal with milk. But then, I started grabbing a few bites of Cheddar Chex Mix. Then I had an apple to tied me over until lunch. Maybe I should have had it with some cheese or peanut butter? Then I had my lunch of baby carrots, 1 cup Mexican Style Chicken Tortilla, and my new favorite...Morning Start Mushroom burger. I also love the Morning Start Black Bean patty. They are tasty and are a great source of protein. I just have to make sure I also have a fruit or more veggies to keep full. Then a few hours later I was hungry again so I ate a granola bar with protein. Still hungry. Next I ate a Zone mini snack bar. Still hungry. Somehow I ended up on the couch with what was left of my kids' Cinnamon Toast Crunch and was eating it by the handfuls. I've NEVER done that! What in the heck? I rallied by having just light soup, 4 oz. lean cut steak, salad, and green beans. My dessert was sugar free jello. I just don't get it.

Today was a great day. I got up at 5:15 to run for 3.5 miles. On my training schedule, all Monday are just a light run. It said 2 miles, but I went for more. I want to do at least 35-45 minutes of cardio and if I run just 2 miles, that won't happen. Do I walk uphill the rest of the time? Should I do yoga to stretch? I need to exercise for more than 19 minutes on run days. Any advice runners? OR advice on my once in awhile food freak outs? I blamed it on not enough protein but I am eating WAY more than I used to.

I'm Back to Running

2009-02-15T23:11:00.000-08:00

After one of my sons was diagnosed with a "little bit" of pneumonia a few weeks ago, I was ultra paranoid about my cough. Well, on Tuesday I finally tried running and ran for 4.1 miles. Then I did 1 minute on 2 minutes off sprints for 35 minutes and did a total of 4.7 miles. On Saturday, I did my Wii Fit which I hadn't done in 2 weeks either. Ouch am I sore today. I was worried that being sore I wouldn't be able to run a longer distance today, but I was able to. It only seems to hurt afterwards and not during luckily. I ran for 5.5 miles today! Starting Tuesday, I'm officially back in 1/2 marathon training. I am running a 1/2 marathon on my 36th birthday! People think it's a strange thing to do on your birthday, but I can't think of a better gift than the gift of good health! I am going to run several 5 mile, 5K, 10K, and a 12K before to prepare myself. Hopefully I have learned a little bit about food and my body so that I don't have a bad reaction and get sick like the last one. If I'm able to handle this 1/2, I may tackle a full marathon in the fall. It all depends on what my tummy does, but not eating Luna or Clif bars anymore has really helped!!! I have several friends now that are running, they say, because of me. It's weird to think that I am influencing people to RUN. Before I used to complain that I had no other friends that ran, but now I have a bunch and they ask if they can run races with me! My only problem is, when I'm running I'm in a zone. I don't think I'd be able to chit chat. And what if I want to go faster...wouldn't it be rude to leave people? There will be races when it's for a good cause and I won't be in competitive mode. But for the others I'm going to have to go it alone. Is that horribly selfish of me? I'm very happy to be their inspiration though. That's how I got started running. My sister in law has done an Ironman for crying out loud! Personally I can never see myself exercising for 12 hours straight! She is my inspiration. I think that's why it's important to have at least one healthy friend around. Your friends and family can be such an influence on your weight and health that you have to have at least one person to talk to, aspire to be like, or just have as a support. There are too many people that are saboteurs (usually without even knowing it).

Getting it Done Not the Same as Doing it Yourself

2009-02-09T21:59:00.001-08:00

So today I kept watching my students "helping" each other. They were grabbing their friends' papers and writing answers for them or they would show their friend their paper so they could copy the answers. I told them that they may think they are helping their friends but they really aren't. Eventually, they need to learn the information themselves (they are 2nd graders). I came up with this example. What would happen if there was a teenager who watched their parents drive for years but never learned themselves to drive and you hand them the car keys. I'll tell you. Well what happened to me was I was 15 1/2 and it was my first day with a learners permit. I kept bragging to my step dad that I was such an awesome driver (though I had not driven a day in my life). So he basically told me to put up or shut up. He got out of his truck and told me to drive. It was 8 o'clock at night and he had an old truck that was some weird stick shift that didn't even go into 1st gear. So I started driving and some how shifted it and was able to drive it around the corner in our neighborhood. Then I got to our driveway that was shared with the neighbors and had a slight incline to it. I made it about 3 feet up the driveway before it died. I tried to restart it and get it going. I had trouble with the clutch and the truck just started lurching forward. The truck bumped into our neighbors Pinto over and over again as the truck would lurch forward, roll back, lurch forward, roll back. My step dad kept screaming at me to put on the brake. I thought I was hitting the brake the whole time when in actuality it was the clutch. I moved that Pinto with the giant truck from the driveway to the middle of their front yard. The only reason I stopped was that he finally ripped the keys out of the ignition. My problem was I couldn't just drive by watching others drive. I had to LEARN to drive all by myself.
I started thinking about this analogy. This is exactly how I feel about diet plans that make you buy their foods. Or these companies that ship you gourmet diet meals. I feel strongly that to live a healthy live and maintain your weight loss, you MUST learn to prepare food on your own. If it's not sustainable, your weight loss will not last. Now I know some people may not like Weight Watchers or may think that we obsess about points. For me, it's just learning about nutrition and portion control. It's about being conscious of what I put into my mouth daily. I know I still have a lot to learn. But I have learned enough to lose 65 lbs (now days), and have been at this weight or lower for the past 2 years. You just have to learn about food and labels, measure your food, and keep track of the amount you eat.

So Much Fun

2009-02-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

I don't know why my hubs and I love dressing up so much but we do. We did not dress up for Halloween this year, so I guess this was our time to do it. At the party, there were a mix of healthy and nonhealthy snacks. I did well at the beginning by munching on the baby carrots, pineapple, and melons. After several drinks of a Boone's Punch ( when's the last time you heard that), I munched on a few nonhealthy snacks. I laughed almost all night though so that had to burn off some calories right? Well as promised, here's some of my Flashdance attire.

First, I had to have jelly bracelets and a bow in my hair. I tried to put big curls in with hot rollers but the curls didn't stick.

Then I had my cut grey sweatshirt and legwarmers.

Last, my hubs was a 80's big hair rocker. He looks like he belongs in the bad Twisted Sister!

Top it off with a little neon and I was ready to go!

I wasn't able to run today. All night when I'd laugh it would turn into a coughing fit. I will walk tomorrow and see how I do so I can hopefully run by Tuesday.

Feeling Better

2009-02-06T21:16:00.001-08:00

I am so happy to be feeling better for many reasons. Hopefully by Sunday I'll feel up to running again. I'm really excited though for tomorrow. Now that I know I'm up to it, the hubs and I are going to an 80's theme party! Totally rad!!! It's actually not that much of a stretch since the 80's are coming back. I always wanted to be Madonna when I was little. You can buy lace gloves and jelly bracelets every where!!! I still don't feel too comfortable wearing a belly shirt though due to too many babies ans stretchmarks, so instead I decided to be the chick from Flashdance!

I bought an over sized gray sweatshirt that I'm going to cut, leggings, and leg warmers. Leg warmers are back. In fact, I bought 2 pairs and I'll have to take a pair back. I have tone of jelly bracelets and hot rollers to make my curls bigger. My hubs is going to be a hair band rocker! I Love this kind of stuff. And I feel comfortable now just wearing a sweatshirt and leggings. I NEVER would have worn that before! I'll have to get pictures but I can't wait!!!

Gentle Reminders

2009-02-05T13:41:00.001-08:00

Having a cold right now, I get winded walking up the stairs. This reminds me of when I was overweight. Now-a-days, I can run up flights of stairs doing two at a time and not be winded. But today, it reminds me of when I struggled with stairs.
It reminds me of when I HAD to take Prevacid every day, otherwise I would have extreme acid reflux. In fact, when I ran out and wouldn't have enough to get me through the weekend, I would pay my pharmacist $5 a pill until they could reach my doctor to hold me over until Monday because nothing over the counter helped me.
It reminds me of when just walking for a half an hour made me sweat and chafe!
It reminds me of having to wear tummy sucking in underwear up to my boobs thinking I was hiding my fat.
It reminds me of needing to make the change from wearing regular clothes to plus size. I went into Victoria Secrets once to get a bra. I told them my size was 40D and they told me they don't fit my size that I needed to go to Lane Bryant. Ouch.
It reminds me of when I had to have two different sleep studies done on me. I had to be fitted for a c-pap mask to wear nightly so I would have relief from my sleep apnea. Super sexy by the way! Can you say...darth vadar?
It reminds me when I could feel the folds of fat on my back. I joke about my back fat now, this is nothing compared to the 2-3 rolls I had before.

I need these gentle reminders to help me. I have become more complacent. I have become more easily tempted by foods. I have listened too much to the late night cravings. I need to be reminded of my past so I do not repeat it!

How the???

2009-02-04T08:46:00.001-08:00

How is it that I work out consistently and eat mostly healthy but yet I keep getting sick. How is this? Maybe because I'm not a clean freak and need to Lysol my house more? Maybe I need to step up my hand washing? My hands are so dry and cracked right now from washing through that it almost doesn't seem worth it. One of my twins was diagnosed with a little bit of pneumonia on Friday, the other twin with an upper respiratory infection, and now I have my appointment today. Ugh. Whenever I'm sick, I can't run because of my asthma so I'm slowly losing what I've worked the last 3 months to gave back. I was drinking EmergenC yesterday along with sucking zinc lozenges but I feel worse today! Grrrrr

Learning to Love More Protein

2009-02-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

So, I said I would post my meals for the week and as you can see I only made it 5 days. That is more tracking than I've been doing and I had great results. I wish I could tell you how many points or calories I consumed over the weekend. But I cannot. All I can say is that girls night out + chips and salsa + Mexican Flautas + Margaritas + various other mixed drinks = hows counting points anymore??? I was proud I got my long run out of the way Saturday morning though since I knew I wouldn't feel well on Sunday. I ran 6 miles in 55 minutes.

I have learned that I really need to just try and eat as clean as I can. Processed foods don't get along too well with my tummy. Speaking of, I can't tell you how much easier it has been to run on the weekends for me now. Since I was eating a Luna or Clif bars, my tummy would start to run and give me shooting pains while running. That is no longer happening and it feels great! My goal is to not snack at night and track again to keep on points. Having more protein has helped me a ton. I know I could add more and add more in a more natural state, but I'm baby stepping it!

Opps I Missed Yesterday

2009-01-31T08:14:00.000-08:00

I maintained yesterday. I think it was due to my craptastic day the day before. I had a better day on Friday. Lunch at work yesterday was torture. I walked in the smell of hot, cheesy, delicious pizza. I haven't had "normal" pizza in forever and this pizza used to be my favorites when I was big. It was not good for me though (besides the obvious). When I used to eat it, I would get severe heartburn. I used to have acid reflux and had to take Prevacid everyday or I was in for a hurtin'. In fact, when I ate it while I was pregnant with my first, it would just sit in my throat. I actually would have to make myself throw up to feel better. So I never had morning sickness, just pizza sickness. Why I continued to eat it, I'll never know. Anyway, everyone at work sounded like drug dealer, "Aw come one, you can eat just one. I ate one. You look like you need one anyway. Come on just do it." I am so proud of this nonscale victory, everyone around me ate at least one piece BUT me. Not even a bite. Yeah for me!!! Here's what I did instead:

Breakfast:
1 1/2 cup Protein Plus Special K (2 pts)
1 cup FF milk (2 pts) = 4 pts

Lunch:
1 cup Campbell's Select Chicken Tortilla soup (2 pts)
1 apple (2 pts)
2 tbsp PB2 (1 pt)
Handful of baby carrots (0 pts) = 5 pts

Snack:
1 granola bar with protein (2 pts)
1 bag granola bites (2 pts) Can you tell I like granola?
1 WW Chai smoothie (1 pt) which has 10 grams of protein) = 5 pts

Dinner:
1 cup Vegetarian chili (4 pts)
1 FF hot dog (1 pt)
1 slice WW cheese (1 pt)
1 cup green beans (0 pts) = 6 pts.

Dessert:
1 bag of my Jolly Time 94% FF popcorn (1 pt)
1 Hershey's chocolate stick (1 pt) = 2 points

Daily total- 22 pts
Estimated Calories- 1,400

Workout:
Upper body with 8 lb. weights
35 minutes Wii Fit strength

Results so far- down to 124.2!!!

Too many carbs at dinner

2009-01-29T19:39:00.000-08:00

So if you look at what I had for dinner yesterday, you'll see I had too many starches. That let to me diving into a box of Wheat Thins last night. Ugh, just when I was making progress. SO eating more doesn't mean a lot if it's crap. I was up .6 this morning and I totally own it. I will learn and move on. Here's what I did today:

Breakfast:
1 1/2 cups Protein Plus Special K (2 pts)
1 cup FF milk (2 pts) = 4 points

Snack:
1 banana (2 pts) = 2 pts

Lunch:
1 cup Campbell's chicken tortilla soup (2 pts)
1 apple (2 pts)
2 tbsp PB2 (1 pt)
1 WW string cheese (1 pt)
Handful of baby carrots (0 pts) = 6 pts

Snack:
1 protein granola bar (2 pts)
1 bag steamers veggies (0 pts) = 2 pts

Dinner:
1 cup Campbell's Light soup (0 pts)
4 oz. Jennie O's Lean Turkey burgers (4 pts)
2 corns on the cob (2 pts)
1 glass of wine (2 pts) = 8 pts

Dessert:
1 bag Jolly time 94% popcorn (1 pt)
1 Hershey's chocolate stick (1 pt) = 2 pts

Daily total- 24 pts
Estimated Calories- 1,600

Workout: Ran hills off and on for 3.5 miles (40 minutes) = 4 activity points

Holy Crap I'm Already Down 2.8 Pounds

2009-01-28T20:07:00.000-08:00

It is so counter intuitive to eat more to loose weight. But it seems to be working. I was 127.8 on Sunday and weighed 125 this morning. Woo Hoo. Here's what today looked like. You'll notice a pattern. I'm a terrible creature of habit.

Breakfast:
1/2 cups Protein Plus Special K (2 pts.)
1 cup FF milk (2 pts.)
1/2 banana (1 pt.) = 5 pts.

Lunch:
1 cup Campbell's Select Chicken Tortilla soup (2 pts)
1 apple (2 pts.)
1 wedge WW cheese (1 pt)
Handful of carrots (0 pts) = 5 pts.

Snack:
1 granola bar w/ protein (2 pts.) = 2 pts.

Dinner:
Salad w/ light balsamic vinegar and olive oil (0 pts)
1 cup Campbell's light Santa Fe Chicken soup (0 pts.)
4 oz. chicken with light bbq (3 pts)
1 bun (2 pts.)
1 cup corn (2 pts.) = 7 pts.

Dessert:
1 bag Jolly Time 94% FF popcorn (1 pt.)
2 sticks Hershey's chocolate sticks (2 pts.) = 3 pts.

Daily total- 22 points
Estimated calories- 1, 400

Workout:
30 minutes yoga stretching Wii Fit (1 activity point)

Tuesday Food Journal

2009-01-27T20:34:00.000-08:00

Breakfast:
1 1/2 cups Protein Plus Special K (2 pts.)
1 cup Fat Free milk (2 pts.) ** Strangely, I am more full when I have this cereal with 2% milk, why is that?**
1 banana (2 pts.) = 6 pts.

Lunch:
1 cup Chicken Tortilla Campbell's Select soup (2 pts.)
1 apple (2 pts.)
1 WW string cheese (1 pt.)
1 tbsp PB2 (1 pt.)
Handful of carrots (0 pts.) = 6 pts.

Snack:
1 Granola Bar w/ Protein (2 pts)
1 bag Steamers veggies (0 pts.)
1 EAS Protein drink (2 pts.) = 4 pts.

Dinner:
4 oz. lean eye of round steak (3 pts.)
5 oz. baked potato (2 pts.)
Spray butter (0 pts.)
Fat free sour cream (0 pts.)
1 cup green beans (0 pts.)
1 cup Campbell's Select Light Noodle Soup (0 pts.) = 5 pts.

Dessert:
1 bag Jolly Time 94% Fat free popcorn (1 pt.)
2 Hershey's Light chocolate sticks (2 pts.) = 3 pts.

Daily Total = 24 points
Estimated Calories = 1,400

Today's Workout:
5 min. warm up
35 minutes alternating 1 minute sprints with 2 minutes recovery
5 min cool down = 4 activity points

Food Diary

2009-01-26T19:32:00.001-08:00

Again because I love all things Miz, I will try and post my meals to see where you all can see any areas of improvement. Just for background info, I am 5'4 with a small/medium frame. According to WW, if I want to drop a few more pounds, I should be eating 20 points. They say to maintain, add 4 points. Last, they say you can get points for activity that you can use or not use. Normally, I would not use them. Perhaps I should? By the way, I've read many blogs debating the amount of activity points one can use in a day, and I've been told it's only 4! I usually workout for a total of 5 points since I run for 35 minutes (high activity for my weight = 4 pts.), and hike 15 more minutes (moderate activity 15 minutes = 1 pt.). IF I used my points, 4 is most I would normally use. So here is my menu, and I will voe right here and now to post my whole week since I'd love advice. I think I need to read more on Runner's World for suggestions of weights and days vs. my running days.

MONDAY
Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups Special K Protein Plus cereal (2 pts.)
1 cup fat free milk (2 pts.)
1/2 banana (1 pt.) = 5 pts.
1 cup green tea (0 pts.)
Coffee w. fat free french vanilla creamer (o pts.)
24 oz. water

Lunch- 1 cup Campbell's light select Minestrone soup (2 pts.)
1 apple (2 pts)
WW single size snack cheese (1 pt.)
**still hungry so**
1 WW string cheese (1 pt.)
Handful of baby carrots (0 pts.) = 6 pts.
24 oz water

Snack- 1 Quaker granola bar w/ protein (2 pts.)
1 bag Jolly Light 94% FF popcorn (1 pt.) = 3 pts.

Dinner- Campbell's Select Light soup (0 pts.)
Salad w/ FF 1000 island and a sprinkle of croutons (now I know you're going to tell me to have balsamic vinegar and oil but I wasn't feeling it) (2 pts.)
4 oz. turkey sausage (4 pts.)
1/2 cup green beans (0 pts.)
1 cup broccoli (0 pts.) = 6 pts.
24 oz. water

Dessert- Sugar free jello (0 pts.)
15 grams Honey Nut Rice Cakes (1 pt.) = 1 pt.

Total points- 21
Estimated Calories- 1350

Workout: 30 minutes strength training on Wii Fit (1 activity point)

Still Trying to Figure it Out

2009-01-24T13:59:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for your advice. I'm still trying to figure it out. The scale is still not moving. To address some of the tips:

Instead of a 'cheat day" I have 2 cheat meals on the weekends with my flex points

I don't do the same routine everyday. One day when I run I'll do sprints. One day I do inclines on my treadmill. Another day I will just run and the last day I do a long run.

I know I could increase my good fats. I'm bad about that.

I changed up from only doing Wii Fit to adding more sets and lifted with some weights.

So, I pretty much maintained again this week. I will try this week tp up my calories slightly as per Miz and my leader at Weight Watchers advised me. My WW leader said, "If you're treating your body like a machine, you need to fuel the machine." So that's what I'll try.

On another note, since I had found out Clif Bars and Luna Bars contained inulin/chicory root I gave them all to my mom last weekend. Then suddenly the peanut butter recall came out and I felt horrible. I just gave my mom a bag full of that stuff that I know she eats on a daily basis. I called her immediately when I found out for her to dispose of them though. Yikes. Here's what I did for workouts this week:

Monday- Sprint intervals for 3.5 miles, hiked 1.6

Tuesday- Weights and Wii Fit strength training

Wednesday- Ran hills 3.8

Friday- Ran 5 miles

Saturday- Walked at 4.2 on inclines from 4-12%

Sunday- Long run 6.1 miles in 56 min.

Here's a sample menu of what I eat. Feel free to critique

Advice Please?

2009-01-19T16:55:00.000-08:00

OK I know when I need help and I need help. I did very well losing weight by just watching what I ate. I did not exercise at all when I was losing weight. I know it's not healthy, but that's how it was. Now that I am running, I can't quite seem to figure out my eating. For weight watchers, they say you can use or not use your activity points. In the past, I have tried not using them and kept the weight on. When I actually eat them, I lost weight. When I watch Biggest Loser or hear celebrities talk about their daily calories, they usually say they eat 1,100-1,200 calories. So that's what I've been trying to do. Honestly, I probably eat about 1,400 calories a day and I'm pretty much just maintaining. My problem is, I don't want to maintain I want to loose a bit more. Not because of the number on the scale, but I don't like how my pants fit and I can feel fat on my back. So I'm wondering, I run 3-4 times a week for a minimum of 3.5 miles and strength train on the opposite days. Should I up my calorie intake on just my running days? Should I cut a few more calories? What do you all think?

Also, fellow runners. I am finally strength training which I haven't done while running. Should I run and strength train on the same days and do yoga/pilates on my off days? Or should it be the opposite? I know I'm supposed to give my muscles a rest, so I just want to know how I can do both running and strength training while resting muscles.

I have been eating more protein lately and I'm amazed. All of this time, I thought the more fiber in a food the more full I would be. I have noticed though, when I eat higher protein with carbs, I'm MUCH fuller. I know on days when I have a high carb/low protein meal, I get lightheaded, silly, and the shakes. I didn't know that the protein helped make me full too. Why am I so ignorant to food? I've been trying to learn, but the more I think I know something, the more I find out I'm dead wrong. So, I just thought I'd reach out to you all. You already helped me with the mysterious ingredient inulin. I am still finding out more foods I eat (used to eat) have that in it. Did I tell you all the WW snacks have the ingredient? Yes indeedy. So no more snack cakes, peanut butter cookies or brownies for me...not that I needed that anyway. I just need to start making my own treats so I know what's in them. Thanks all. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank You Bloggers!

2009-01-11T17:39:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my faithful readers, I may have found a relief to my belly pain. Katschi suggested I check my food labels for the ingredient inulin or chicory root. By golly, that ingredient is in my Clif and Luna Bars as well as a few Zone bars and my Fiber One bars. I always thought it was the extra fiber in my bars...but me thinks it's this weird ingredient. I did not have my usual Clif or Luna Bar this morning and my tummy is MUCH better. If anyone else know of any food ingredient that gives tummy problems, PLEASE let me know. I guess this is just another reason of why I should be eating clean. That ingredient is in processed foods. And here I thought since Clif Bars were 70% organic they were good for me. Well, I do have a weak tummy so I am an exception.

As I'm sitting here, I just calculated how many weeks until my next 1/2 marathon: 19. Now my hubs doesn't want me to sign up for it yet though because we've been invited to a family reunion in Atlanta in that month but we don't have the date yet. That will be a completely different blog, but I have found at least 5 other races from March until May that I am going to sign up for. I can't believe still that I am this person. This person who not only wants to run, but race, and do really well at races. Whatever lady. This from the person who thought running was for either A) chumps or B) super athletes. I didn't see myself in either of the 2 categories and still am not but I'm trying and having a lot of fun doing it. I tell my students that all the time. I used to think I'd HATE running. I didn't even want to try. Then one day I tried it and I still didn't like it. I tried it a few more times and really liked it. I liked that it made me sweat, made me feel my heart a beating, and made me feel like I was getting stronger. I will hear them say to each other or other teachers that same story. My running story. I hope they remember and apply it to their life.

So here are my workouts since my last blog:
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Saturday- Hill work walking and running 4-10 inclines 5 miles 65 min.
Sunday- Ran 5.07 miles in 45 minutes + 1 hour Wii Fit strength training and yoga (I'm probably going to regret this in the morning)

My Food's a Pain in my Gut

2009-01-08T15:58:00.000-08:00

So to state the obvious, I am a member of Weight Watchers. I love it. I love that I am held accountable for my weight, they encourage exercise, AND that it teaches mental strategies for dealing with food. Now to be completely honest, I lost my weight without working out. At all! I worked out when I was fat, but not when I was losing weight. Makes sense doesn't it? I told you I have issues. Anyway, I believe in those things. I still need to work on the mental strategies for sure!
Weight Watcher also came out with what's called the Core Plan (well now they are calling it Momentum). Many WW I know don't like it because it feels too restrictive. But it's about eating foods that are healthy and good for your body. Mostly, I do like core but I have a few issues with it. I love oatmeal, but I love the kind that core does not "allow." I usually eat the lower sugar or weight control Quaker oats rather than steel cut. It's quick for one and I love the taste. I have tried mixing apples, applesauce, and cinnamon with plain oatmeal and almost spit it out. Yuch! Another issue is bread. I love me some bread...cereal, toast, tortillas, buns, rolls, etc. I eat the whole wheat kind, but according to Core any bread is a no no.

What's interesting to me was after reading the great and powerful Miz's post yesterday is that Core and the Zone are practically the same! They both encourage lean proteins, lots of fruits and veggies, no bread, corn, or potatoes, fat free milk, low fat/fat free cheese, and healthy oils. Now, I know I feel good when I eat core. In fact, I curb my sugar cravings on it because it cuts out sugar. BUT I have tummy issues and sometimes when I eat TOO many veggies or fiber, my tummy churns. This is why I had to stop eating Flat Out wraps and Fiber One bars (which I LOVE) because it was too much fiber and made my tummy gurgle. I also notice it churn a lot when I eat my typical Saturday morning breakfast of a Clif Bar. So, I went out and bought a few Zone bars. I tried one this morning and was pleasantly surprised at how full I felt (tummers is still churning though?). I think it's the extra protein that helped fill me. I am SLOW when it comes to advice. I had a few bloggers, Miz one of them, who told me to up my protein, especially when I was training for my 1/2. Did I listen? NO. Should I listen? Probably since I already know that I tend to over do my portion of fiber and the tums rejects it. I do a ton of fiber though because if you know Weight Watchers, the higher the fiber the lower the points! But it doesn't do me any good when I can't even eat at night because I'm curled up in a ball on the floor with stomach cramps! I have gone to a gastrointestinal doc and at first they told me to up my fiber. Umm Ok I guess...you are the doc right? That was a big mistake! I was already eating like 40 grams of fiber a day and she had the nerve to tell me to up it. "Well everyone always thinks they eat enough fiber, but they don't. The 2nd time I went in and made her listen to what I eat during the day she realized I was probably over doing the fiber. Ya think?
I still have tummy churns though and wish I could figure out the food since the docs aren't much help. I have tried eliminating sugar substitutes (aka sugar free foods), bread, and coffee (which I don't ever want to do again!). Anyone else out there with IBS and have advice for me. It gets embarrassing and is painful. Help...advice...words or wisdom? I'm open today I swear.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Workouts:
Wednesday -1 hr. 15 minutes on the Wii Fit
Thursday- Ran 4 miles in 35 minutes then as a consequence for finishing off a bag of rice cakes (I guess it could have been worse), I walked 2 miles on various inclines between 4 and 11 on the treadmill for another 24 minutes.

Note to Self

2009-01-07T15:01:00.000-08:00

Self...who do you think you are? You cannot up your reps AND sets the same day when you've only been back to strength training for less than 2 weeks. Do you like have your legs feel like you're walking through water? And you think it's bad now...wait until tomorrow. SLAP..idiot.

Anyhoo, I weighed in this morning as was down 2.5 lbs. I was super happy until I watched a taping of Oprah. Bob Greene, the man, was on and having me ask myself questions. The question that nailed me was, "Why do you want to lose weight?" He said if it's about being a certain size or number on the scale, you won't succeed. I knew that. At least, I used to know that. When I started this journey it was about not becoming diabetic (I was diagnosed prediabetic in 2005) AND helping my infertility problems. It was about my HEALTH. Suddenly, well not exactly suddenly, I have become OBSESSED with the number on the scale and not on my health. How did I let this happen? Why do I keep being obsessed by the scale. I think it's fear. I fear becoming fat again, so I weigh myself everyday. I fear not fitting into my clothes (which I have been having an issue with lately). But the funny thing is, I did not obsess or beat myself up with I was bigger. I didn't care. I didn't freak out about the scale. I though actually that I looked good. Now that I am healthier I think I am more critical of the way I look than ever before. Why is that? I guess I thought when I hit a certain weight I would suddenly love my body and love me. That didn't happen.

I need to get back to just wanting to be healthy. I need to learn to love myself unconditionally. No matter how small I get, I will never get what my hubs says I want...love from my father. I need to get over that and just love myself. My boys love me, my students do, my hubs does. Why do I have such a hard time with loving and accepting myself? This is what I need to work on instead of my love/hate affair with my scale!

Stressing and Releasing

2009-01-06T20:03:00.000-08:00

This morning I wanted to pick my scale up and throw it out the window. Up another pound..again. Are you f*%#ing kidding me??? GGGrrrrrrr. I cut my calories to 24 points (about 1400 calories) and worked out again yesterday. I will be cutting to 1200 calories the rest of the week (22 points). On a positive note, I went back to work finally today. I was mad at myself at first for not getting up at 5 AM to run. When you're up past 11, it's hard to want to run so early in AM. But, I did come home and did 4.2 miles on the treadmill! I usually never run in the afternoon because it hurts my tummy, but I was A-OK today.

Where I live there has been so much snow that roofs are caving in from the weight. They say if you have a flat roof, you need to shovel it if it has more than 3 feet of snow. When my son and I pulled up to the school this morning, I could clearly see my roof had not been shoveled and there's about 3 feet of snow on top of it. I went right into the office and told my principal that I didn't want to sound like a baby, but I had concerns about my roof. She said that engineers were out yesterday (this is why school was cancelled again yesterday) and found all the schools to be structurally sound BUT at full capacity for the amount of snow. So I walked to my classroom. Funny thing with boys. My son walked into my classroom, got a drink of water, and left to go stand outside. He never noticed a thing. He had to have stepped on or near water but nope..didn't see it. I on the other hand walked into my classroom and immediately knew there was a problem. I dropped my things and ran back to the office to get my principal. There was water from one wall to the other of my floor. It was contained to an area though that didn't have a lot of things to ruin. As quickly as I could, I started grabbing my books and taking them to another room. I have spent thousands of dollars (I'm not kidding) on children's books. They are my biggest priority and investment. I grabbed 6th graders, kids from my class, parents, anyone I could and had them start emptying my room. There was a large water bulge coming from the ceiling. They popped it and now I have a large hole in there. I will be teaching in another room again tomorrow so they can test if we'd be breathing in any toxins from the roof (my school is having its 100th anniversary this spring). Normally, I would stress about this and freak. As long as I got my books and laptop out of there I was fine. No of my kids or I got hurt, so no harm no foul. It could have been so much worse! I just went with the flow. That is so not like me. Maybe there's hope for me yet!

Addiction

2009-01-04T23:22:00.000-08:00

Back when I was a teenager I used to smoke. I smoked from the time I was 15 until 20 pretty nonstop. Then I would smoke during social situations...mostly at bars. After graduating from college, I would start smoking every summer for the next three years. I was always job hunting then and I didn't know how to deal with my stress. The very last summer I smoked was 2002. I didn't have an excuse. I finally had a job and a one year old and life was great. But a friend of mine said to me, "Don't you just want a cigarette sometimes?" She bought a pack with the intent of smoking just one. Well, I am not that kind of person. That one turned into about 4 that night. Then I finished the pack. After that, I was buying more and more. The strange thing about me though is that I can quit smoking very easily. Every time the new school year came, I would just quit. What I've learned though is that I cannot have just 1 cigarette. It always snowballs into something more.

This is the same with me with certain foods. Now I know people warn against people having restrictive diets. Well I am not on a diet. I have adopted hopefully a newer healthier lifestyle and within that I know I have certain foods that I cannot have just one of or it has a snowball effect. Most of the foods I really have no business eating anyway. You will never hear me complaining of having a freak out and eating too many baby carrots one night. Oh no, my addiction is to processed, salty, or sugary foods. For example, last night I stupidly thought I could grab one of my sons Wheat Thins and be fine. W-R-O-N-G. That one turned into a few more which turned into several handfuls more. Now when I get like this, it sets off a mindless feeding frenzy. I don't know why. I should know why. I should know how to stop it in the first place. But it didn't stop there. Then, my mother (who by the way is NOT the same person who raised me...she is now a grandma and all her mother rules about food have flown out the window) had given my twins snack bags of Cheetos. My sons were smart and didn't eat them. I on the other hand am not so smart and I finished both their bags. Again, I am not a person who can have just one.

I hear people at my Weight Watchers meetings say how getting over being overweight is much harder than being an alcoholic because alcoholics don't HAVE to drink but we do HAVE to eat. Well, I disagree. Yes people do need to eat to survive. But did my survival hinge upon the 2 snack bags of Cheetos I ate? I don't think so. In fact, I'm sure it hurt my body with all the crap that's in there. I also don't need to consume brownies, cheesecake, cookies, or other chips to survive either. People do in fact need to drink to survive, just not alcohol.

So as any addict, the first step is admitting it so here it goes, "Hi. I'm Chellie and I'm a junk food addict." I used to be better. I used to be stronger, have more will power, felt invincible. I though all these other people who can't maintain their weight were strange. How hard is it? Well oh cocky one, it IS pretty frickin hard isn't? I am no different from all of the other people who have lost weight and gained some back. In fact, I have now gained 2 more lbs. for a total of a 12 pound weight gain since May! The hubs says to me, "Maybe this is your natural weight now. I don't think 117 was a natural weight for you. You were too skinny. I just want you to be sane." Well too skinny or not, that's what my weight is supposed to be in my head and all of this above it is freaking me out. Any of you out there lost weight but got down to an unrealistic weight? I was at the very bottom of my weight range. In fact, one of the employees said that part of the weight range is for teenagers, not mommies like me.

Well, I own my freak out yesterday. I'm gonna go Dr. Phil up in here. I CHOSE to eat that crap therefore I CHOSE to gain 2 more pounds. Now, I will just reduce my points (food intake) and continue to workout. I was supposed to go back to work today, but our sheriff recommended all schools in our county be closed one more day because of all our snow. To give myself a compliment after bashing myself, I have worked out EVERY DAY this break. Now, I just need to figure out how to keep it up again when I go back to work. The first race I want to do is in March, so I may just need to get back into training mode. For some reason that gets me out of bed more than just saying I need to workout.

Workouts:
Friday- 70 min. on treadmill 4.5 miles running 1.5 hiking on various inclines
Saturday- 70 min. yoga and strength training with Wii Fit
Sunday- Ran in the snow 4 miles in 39 minutes
Today- I will hike on the treadmill and then do more Wii Fit (I just need to kick my oldest son off of it first)

The Hungover Workout

2009-01-01T18:49:00.000-08:00

I had the best New Years day gift. I got to sleep in until 11:30! I haven't done that since I was in my early 20's. The hubs woke me up becuase he wanted to workout out with me. What??? Did I step into a complete new dimension in 2009? My hubs wanted to workout with me? This is quite unusual at my house. Anyway, he walked on the treadmill while I did my Wii Fit. Again I did yoga and strength training. The Wii Fit gave me more reps on my exercises which I love. After I did a set of all my exercises, I did them a second time with my hubs. I don't know when I've ever worked out with a hangover, but I did it! A very proud moment. It was a quiet New Years Eve with just our best friends. We did some balance games on the Wii, bowled, and played a fun game on our PS3 called Buzz. It's trivia that you can play against each other or others online. We had a ton of fun and I'm right back on plan (after loosing my mine last night). I refuse to feel guilty or be mad at myself. It was one night of indulgence and I had worked out for 70 minutes and ate light yesterday to compensate. Today, I'm simply tired and making sure I'm drinking enough water. I hope all of you are right back on your plans too! And, thank you to all of my followers. I love that I am not alone out there with my issues!

Yesterday workout:
Ran- 4 miles
Hiked on various inclines- 2 miles for 70 minutes total

Today:
Yoga- Half moon, tree, warrior, chair, sun salutation, Knee Stretch (2 sets)
Strength training- push up/plank, plank, lunges, side twist, leg lifts, tricep dips, opposite arm/leg raises, & sit ups

Pre New Years Eve Goals and Resolutions

2008-12-30T16:06:00.000-08:00

I know everyone is reflecting back on their year and what it meant to them. I am truly grateful for the year I had. Not that it was anything earth shattering. I have my family. We all have our health. My husband and I are still employed. I have love. What else can I ask for?

Every time I complain or look begrudgingly at my stomach with its vast stretchmarks and still loose skin (even after a tummy tuck), I need you to slap me. That's right let me have it. Why??? Because as a fellow WW member said to me in a meeting one time, "They are the marks of love. You worked so hard to have those babies. They are a blessing. And so are your stretchmarks." Now I would NEVER call my stretchmarks a blessing, but I would of my boys. And I did struggle to have them. I am lucky to have them, even when they're trying to climb up my arm, even when they tell me they want 'up' for the thousandth time in the day, even when they interrupt me on my treadmill, and even when they wake me up at an ungodly hour. I am lucky because they call me mommy, lucky that they tell me they love me more than once every day, lucky for our snuggles and rubbing noses, lucky I get to read books with them every night, and lucky that they make me smile. Wow, I am actually getting choked up writing this. Gosh I'm a sap. Anyhoo, in no particular order, these are the things I WILL work on to be a better person, mother, and wife this next year:

Take a deep breath before losing my cool
Do weights/toning exercises at least 3 times a week...your cottage cheese ass will thank you
Continue running
Do as many local races as possible including a 5K, 10K, 12K and one more half marathon
Write a letter your dad, even if you never mail it
Initiate boot knockin' with the hubs at least twice a month...he needs to feel wanted too!!!
Stop staying at work past 5 o'clock...the work will NEVER be done... so get over yourself
Lose the 10 lbs. you've gained since May
Stop pretending that your children make you late all of the time...you're late even when by yourself!!!
Ask others about their life...not everything is about you semi-only child!!!
Fix your sagging tribal boobs...the hubs will thank you
Learn to meditate...seriously...you must do something before you get an ulcer
Be present at least with your children

**I forgot at least two more thins to work on for the New Year. The first being a decadence list that I learned about from the all powerful Miz. It's a list of things that feel good that you can turn to rather than food when upset or stressed. I started making my list in my head in my shower yesterday. Number 1 on the list, take a shower until the hot water runs out. I know it's not very green of me, but it feels soooooooo good and it's free. Also, I want to find a food table like the great Roni has since I have been a slacker at writing down my points. I know it works in weight loss, but I just haven't been doing it. ** editions

Happy New Years to all of you!

Todays workout:

5 min warmup
Alternating walking and side steppin on the treadmill at various inclines
Hill climb 20 minutes
Cool down 5 minutes
50 minutes of yoga and strength training using my Wii Fit

Darn You Wii

2008-12-29T15:06:00.000-08:00

OK I have been sore every day since I got my new Wii Fit. Are you kidding me? I thought I was in decent shape and this thing is kickin my butt! What I love about it is that it shows you demos of each exercise. Also, it will critique your form...how it know is a mystery. But you can redo it until you have it right. Plus, when you work out enough on it, it will increase the reps or give you a new exercise to try. It only starts out with a few. I can see why...so people like me don't go crazy and paralyze themselves. Yesterday, the hubs and I did balance training. I SUCK on my left side! It's really weird. The hubs is the opposite. We also tried the Yoga. OMG that is no joke. There were only 4 poses and they looked so easy. Not even close!

We did The Warrior pose,

the Tree (which I am HORRIBLE at),

the half moon,

and sun salutation. If it's a 2 footed exercise, I rock it. If it's anything on 1 foot..like the tree...forget about it!!! Then we did another set of the strength training section. The hardest move here is the pushup/plank.

Acck. I shake like I'm looking for a tip. My hubs and I had to take turns stretching each other out.

Also, I'm not the greatest cook, but I have been trying to find healthier variations to foods we love. I made my own version of a mushroom swiss burger, chicken cordon blue, and last night I tackled lasagna. I don't know how to calculate the points since I made it from a recipe but modified it. I used whole wheat noodles, extra lean ground turkey breast, low fat ricotta and mozzarella cheese, and no sugar added Ragu spaghetti sauce. I served it with whole wheat french bread with spray butter garlic salt and garlic powder. Now I believe that I am married to THE finickiest man in the world. He only eats 3 veggies (and I really don't even consider corn or potatoes real veggies). The hubs LOVED it and said he could eat it all day, every day. Success!

Today I'm trying to organize the house after the whirlwind holiday. First, I had our car dropped off to get the windows tinted as a present for the hubs. Then I did interval training on the treadmill + 15 of hill climbing for an hour total. Then, lunch for 4 boys, dishes, sorting through new clothes while removing too small clothes in kids closet, and finally lunch for me while blogging! Now I'm off to see if I can find our kitchen table!

New Toys!!!

2008-12-27T18:19:00.000-08:00

So on my last post you saw I have daddy issues. Well, luckily for me (disappointing for my kids), he was a usual no show. He had all kinds of excuses and played the victim. Do you guys have anyone in your life that has the personality that you can't reason with them because they some how distort their reality and they can't even fathom your point of view? My dad, and a few other family members, don't see reason, they don't see facts, they see only what they want to see. It's frustrating. Anyway, I escaped that meeting but still was so stressed that I drank on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Doing so, I became the statistic and gained my 2 lbs. In 2 days. Ever see the Tazmanian Devil on Bugs Bunny? That is me after I drink alcohol. Any food that I normally wouldn't touch, I eat it, devour it, destroy it. At a rapid pace as if there is no tomorrow.

So to combat this, I got a few new toys for Christmas. First, I got a Garmin 205. This thing is HUGE. I mean, it's as thick as my wrist and wider than it. It's heavy. I have dainty wrists and usually don't wear anything on them because it will fall off. So wearing this thing will be a challenge! My husband suggested I get old school wrist bands to put under it so it doesn't hurt so much. We'll see!

My second cool new toy is a Wii Fit package and a Wii Balance Board. The hubs and I LOVE this!!! You can stand on it and it will give you your weight and BMI. Then, you go through some exercises and it calculates your Wii Fit age. On wine, I was exactly my age. While sober, my Wii Fit age was 44 (I'm 35 btw)! WTF??? Anyway, you can make weight and fitness goals for yourself and it has a variety of balancing and strength training exercises. We're already sore just from doing 1 set of 5 moves yesterday! We're really excited for the Yoga portion of the game. I have a complex (from being pointed out in a class) about doing Yoga in a class, so I'm hoping I can learn some yoga moves in the privacy of my own home. Also, my son got a Raving Rabbits game that also has activities to do on the balance board like skiing. Works your core and it's so fun!!!

Another toy I got were YakTraks for running in the snow. I tried out a friends and really liked them so my mom got me some along with a gift certificate to REI. The hubs and I went shopping yesterday and I got a new pair of gloves, a coat, and pants to run in the rain and snow. Completely off the subject, they had some Iced Gingerbread Clif Bars there. They are to DIE for!!! I wish I would have known I'd like them so much or I would have gotten more than one.

So today, it took me a really long time but here's what I did to prep for my big run in the snow:

tank top

long sleeve under armour shirt

terry cloth sweatshirt
new coat that's water and wind resistant

wool socks

yoga pants

outdoor training pants

head and face mask

i-pod shuffle

shoes

yak traks

gloves
new Garmin (which I prayed was water resistant or I'm in trouble)

I was off. It snowed AGAIN last night, but our temp is warming up. So instead of the light fluffy snow we had before, it's now wet and heavy snow. The kind you slide around in when you try to walk. But I was determined to try it. My YakTraks said they are for walking. There is a Pro kind that said for running, so I'm not sure if I should exchange them or not. I was able to run well on the street where the plows and pavers had been. I struggled severely where it was thicker, wetter, mushier snow. Not usre if anything can help that! After about 2.5 miles, I had to ditch the gloves and terry cloth sweatshirt because I got hot fast! It was H-A-R-D to run in the snow but so fun and refreshing. I ran 4 .5 miles in 47 minutes. Any runners out there know how to post their Garmin results on their blog? I see Nike + folks be able to do it, so I wasn't sure if the Garmin can too. Anyway, it was great and I was back down 2 lbs. this morning. Two down and 8 more to go to get back down to my lowest weight. I will leave you with this pic of me in all of my gear!

Issue #5 Daddy

2008-12-23T23:03:00.000-08:00

Holy crap my shoulders are killing me! That's what shoveling snow will do for you. And it's STILL snowing. For many years, I always hoped for a white Christmas, but this is ridiculous. There are many unexpected workouts you can get in the snow though:

Pushing your shopping cart to your car.
Carrying your bags and child instead of pushing a shopping cart through the snow.
Dragging your children in a sled.
Climbing a mountain to sled yourself.
Pushing your neighbor out of their driveway.
Hauling your garbage to where the curb used to be.
Climbing a hill to get to your mailbox.
Dressing your 3 year old twins for the snow. It takes about 45 minutes!

I feel like I had a successful day despite the snow. Here's a run down of what teachers do on their winter break:

Slept in
Ran 3.5 miles/climbed 1.5 miles on various inclines on the treadmill
Drove to pet store #1 with my twins and mother
Went to a gift basket store
Drove to pet store #2 (which disappointed me since they were out of crickets which we needed)
Fought through crowds at WalMart
Fixed myself lunch
Made 2 calendars for gifts
Cut out, labeled and sorted my kids' school pics
Printed pics for picture frames
Made and decorated Christmas cookies with my sons
Fixed dinner
Supervised the building of a gingerbread house
Changed diapers...the smelly kind times 2
Read books to my boys
Tucked them all in (It's like a sleep over every night at our house)
Wrapped 6 presents
Munched on popcorn and diet cocoa
Blogged

I'm trying to keep busy because I'm totally stressing about tomorrow. My father is coming to see us and I have seen or spoken to him in over 2 years. This has been by choice for me. He's coming because my brother is only in town for 2 weeks and then he's going back to where he's stationed in the Army. This is the only reason I agreed to have them over. I want to see my little brother. I am worried though. I have a bottle of wine in my fridge and I'm hoping I don't chug it before 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. Every time I see my dad I'm a mess for days. I cry uncontrollably and wonder why he hates me so much and how we see our past so completely differently. I have daddy issues. That's another one of my issues and it's a doosey. Honestly, you can see in my high school pics of where I was a normally weight, my dad kicked me out of his house, and suddenly BAM fatness struck me. I know that I'm not supposed to suppress all of my feelings into the 2 containers of sugar cookies I just made, but I'm worried I will anyway. I have to figure out a way to let me anger out without adding it to my ass. I think if I plan blog what I'm feeling afterwards tomorrow, maybe I'll channel my anger and get a grip. I have always wanted to write him a letter to tel him how I really feel since I never say anything. I simply avoid. I think my plan to help me tomorrow is to write him the letter I always wanted to here on my blog. He'll never read it, but I hope it will make me feel better. It will be stinky to have such a negative blog on Christmas Eve, but I need to have some productive plan other than drinking my sorrows away. Maybe I should invest in a punching bag too?

Taking the Bull by the Horns

2008-12-22T21:41:00.000-08:00

Where I live, we've gotten hit with over 3 feet of snow in 6 days. Before the snow, it was frigidly cold temps. Like a high of 3 degrees one day plus the wind blowing making it feel like -6 out. We had two school closure days so we started our winter break early. It was really fun for the kids the first couple of days, but now it's just ridiculous. It's really light snow called champagne snow so you can't even make a decent snowman with it. If my 3 year olds tried to go into my backyard I'd never seen them again. Where the snow was drifting, it's even over my 7 year old's head. I got out of shoveling until now because my husband did it or I paid a teenager to do it for me. Today was finally my day. I had my running clothes on and warmed up on my treadmill. But then, my hubs who was home sick today, needed me to venture out in the snow for cold medicine. Therefore, I bundled up with my snow pants, wool socks, 2 pairs of gloves, boots, down jacket and i-pod to do my shoveling workout. I was sweating very quickly. I'm glad this was 'light' snow since right when I heard out the plows came by and added another two feet of snow into our driveway. Ugghh. I was OK with it though since I had finally run for 5 days last week. Even though I love to run, I am not ones of these runners I read about who freak out it they can't run. I don't wake up each morning and say, "Yeah a day to go running." Not quite. But I do like the health benefits, how it makes me feel and sweat, and how I get a good workout in a shorter amount of time. I keep thinking that I will develop this true love affair with running, but I am not there yet.

After reading KK's blog, I was inspired to write about my 'core values.' To me, the things I've learned over the past several years to help get me back on track...the taking the bull by the horns. See I have become cocky. I go to my WW meetings and see other Lifetimers that have fallen on the wagon and think, "I'm glad that's not me. I don't have any trouble with maintaining." HHAAAAA I say. I have gained 9 lbs. since my lowest weight. Now the hubs has been wanting me to gain this weight and thinks I look good. I do not. I think and feel fat. I do not feel strong. I do not feel good about myself. And to top it off, ALL of the pants I fit in in the spring are too tight. My muffin top is still here. The hubs just says to get my bigger pants back out or go buy more. Buy more??? I have already gone through at least 3 complete wardrobe size changes. He should be the last person to tell me to spend more family money on new clothes. So as of now, like many other bloggers I've been reading, I am taking control of this NOW. So, here are the things I've learned, that I need to remember and put into practice:

Portion control is key- Measure whenever possible.

Eat breakfast that has a combo of carbs, protein, and fiber.

Track what you eat...WRITE IT DOWN.

Be familiar with labels.

Only eat when hungry...not when bored, stressed, mad, happy, etc.

Stop eating when full.

Don't eat when you're not hungry even when you're doing it to "get your points it."

Plan!!! Plan daily meals, plan what you will eat when you go out, and plan what to do when you're first plan falls through.

Prep your week. Keep bringing your weeks worth of lunches to school on Monday. It's time saving.

Know your trigger foods and avoid them...Cheez-It's, chocolate covered pretzels, cookies, brownies, certain breads, etc. Mostly carbs.

Exercise a minimum of 4 days a week 30 minutes a day.

Stop munching off of your children's plates.

Give myself me time...usually a bubble bath during nap time.

Reward self with nonfood items like pedicures, massages, or a new pair of shoes!

Be HONEST with yourself.

Be accountable.

Eat filling snacks that are a combo or protein and carbs..not just carbs.

Listen to the voice inside my head.

You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight.

Forgive yourself for being human.

Just say no to food pushers and saboteurs.

Know that just because you loose the weight doesn't mean you will have a perfect body.

Enjoy not begrudge your new lifestyle!!!

Issue #4 Managing my Stress

2008-12-18T16:55:00.000-08:00

*Sigh* I have been doing Weight Watchers since 2005. I know about the importance of portion control, eating until you're satisfied, moving everyday, and managing your mental health. I am aware of these things. What I struggle with STILL, is managing my stress. I know that exercising is supposed to be a great stress relief. I know meditation is supposed to be cleansing for the soul. I know that you shouldn't eat mindlessly when stressed. I KNOW all of these things. I just have a hard time doing what I need to do.

For example, I knew that the beginning of the school year would be stressful for me. So, I made my goal to run my first 1/2 marathon so I would keep running. I did that and completed my race. Since then (Oct. 15) I have exercised a total of 5 (that's right...one number after 4 and not quite 6) times. To give myself one tiny excuse, I did get sick twice within weeks of each other. One a common cold. The other, I had Parvo. "Parvo? Isn't that what dogs get?" Yes I know what you were thinking because I asked my doctor the same thing. I found out the Parvo 19 is the virus that causes 5ths Disease. What's that you ask? It's in the same family as chicken pox and measles. My doc told me most people my age have already had it, but I'm special. I didn't even get chicken pox until I was 21 years old. In young children, they get a rash and their cheeks look red like they've been slapped. In old people like me, you get a low grade fever and rheumatoid arthritis symptoms that can last up to 3 months! I couldn't even pick up my kids. Normally, I can pick them both up with one arm. When I was full blown sick, I couldn't pick up one with both arms. But back to the not exercising, I have had plenty of days when I have been fine and still didn't work out. I just couldn't wake up at 5:00. I could, just didn't want to. The snooze button appealed to me more.

Some friends of mine from work heard about a Jingle Bell run here on Dec. 13. It was just a 5K and even though I had only run a couple of times I thought I could still handle it. Yeah right. I can't believe how quickly I got out of shape. I ran the whole thing but was dragging! And I was super sore the next couple of days. I have never run in snow so that was different. It was also 10 degrees outside! We finished in 32 minutes. Again, I was happy with my time considering. But I finished my last 5K in 26 minutes. Big difference.

Now, I am doing what I knew I would do at the beginning of the year. Choosing sleep over exercise. Choosing laziness over healthiness. Choosing to veg out in front of my TV at night after my boys are asleep rather than blogging. I know I feel better when I blog. It's cathartic and I get great inspiration and advice. I know I feel better when I run. I have a better start to my day and my body looks better. But...I have not been doing it. I just have been spent. I am sorry if you were a regular reader. I am trying to get better. Usually I'm great at juggling multiple things in my life, but lately I suck.

I TRULY want to learn how to meditate. I just can't seem to turn my brain off. I try to just say a phrase over and over, but then my mind starts spinning with things I need to do, should have done, or regret doing. Any meditators out there have any advice? We had a snow day today so I did 5 miles. Yeah. Maybe I'm on a roll...3 times I've run this week including the Jingle Bell Run. I don't want to wait until Jan. 1st to get it together. I want to and will get it together starting now!

Still tired but Better

2008-11-04T19:34:00.000-08:00

So I figured out why I was so tired. I finally got sick. I was fighting it and fighting it to not get sick before my race, but then I wasn't as vigilant on my Emer-gen-C and whaalaa...sickness. I have to be careful with head colds since I have asthma because it can easily go into my chest. So needless to say I have run TWO count them TWO times in the last 3 weeks. Ackk...I am going to be so out of shape.

Also, I think I've turned into a crazy person. How so you ask? I have conversations with myself and I don't listen to myself. Who does that??? How can I get mad at my husband for not listening to me when I don't even listen to me. Here's an example....Saturday night that Halloween candy had been nagging at me. I said to myself, "Self...just have one Nutragegous since you haven't had one in a very long time. But that's all. Just one piece." So in I popped that Nutrageous. But then I found my body creeping into kitchen and spying into the bucket pulling out a Reese's Stick. I said to myself, "Hey self! What happened to just having one piece?" "Hey, hello??? "Why are you," "eating that????" So then when that piece was finished, I was sneaking into the bucket yet AGAIN. This time, a Heath bar was my victim. Again I said to myself, "Self, you bitch and you moan about the lovely lady lumps that reside on the top of your ass...why are you eating more frickin candy???? Hellooooo hypocrite. What the hell are you doing????" But did I listen to myself? Nope. Nada. Negative. I am proud to say that I have not had this problem with the Halloween candy since. But every once in awhile I have a night like this. Where I argue with myself but still continue to mindlessly eat. Why? Why? Why? I was more strict with myself when I was losing weight than now when I am maintaining. I still see myself losing weight though because I still have 5 presurgery pounds to get rid of. But still. Normally if someone else told me this situation I'd say, "Maybe you're being too restrictive with yourself?" Well with Weight Watchers, we have 35 flex points to use however we wish. I usually use them for a treat or two and for Papa Murphy's Hawaiian DeLite pizza for dinner. But yet, I still have a freak out night every once in awhile. I need to figure out why. Stress? Not enough protein during the day? I'm nuts and like to sabotage myself? Not sure. This is another reason I have issues.

On a COMPLETELY different topic. Can I just say how proud and amazed I am that we may have a black president? I honestly never thought I'd live to see the day to tell you the truth. Being a black female, this has been an historic and truly awe inspiring time to have an African American and a female both in the running. I have seen woman, like Geraldine Ferraro, run before for vice president and be close though. I have NEVER seen an African American be this close. I am very proud this evening.

Tired Anyone???

2008-10-23T19:06:00.000-07:00

I've heard that your body can take a couple of weeks to recover from a race. I hope that's my problem because, can I BE any more tired (said in my best Chandler impersonation). Uggh. Every night I've been in bed early hence again my lackage of blogging.

I went to my plastics doc yesterday for a few touch ups. She tried a belly button lift and got rid of a "dog ear" on my side. It kind of looked like a nipple sticking out of my side from my scar (tummy tuck). Right now I'm feeling a bit sore and swollen in those areas. She said she may need to go in to do the belly button again. My skin just got stretched beyond recognition from the combination of being fat and then having two healthy babies in me. It's like that old sweater you love but now the arms hang to the floor and it hangs off your shoulders because it's been stretched out too much? Yeah..that's what my tummy looked like. My skin has just been very hard to deal with.

In the last blog, we were off to the farms and I promised pics so here they are:

First, they grabbed some punkins

Then, my darling duo sat in a tractor tire

Then it was family photo time

After that, I got a little lovin'

Sat in an old car (all 3 looking I can't believe it)

Went through several hay mazes

Rode some ponies

Rode a few trains and bounced on some castles

Made it to the castle in the middle of a corn maze

But we never found the great pumpkin in the pumpkin patchI LOVE living where I live. I have the city life and country life within a 30 miles radius!!! Happy fall everyone.

Tagged!

2008-10-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to blog about this but I had a super busy week. We had our Open House and I always have to work hard on that week to get everything ready. I was tagged by N.D. and have to write 6 random things about me. Here goes:

I always thought when I grew up I'd be a dancer. A Solid Gold Dancer to be exact (that ages me I'm sure).

I prefer white chocolate over milk or dark chocolate any day of the week.

I have never known what it's like to live with both your mom and dad. My mom divorced my dad when I was 1. I now haven't spoken to my dad in almost 2 years. Oh, and my mom is white and my father is black. I LOVES my mom. She's here at my house EVERY weekend to help with the kids.
I was voted Funniest Girl and Class Clown my senior year. I now get paid back everyday in my classroom.
I LOVE trashy, silly, bad taste movies and always have. I actually went to see Pee Wee's Big Adventure TWICE in the movie theatre back in the day. We even jumped up and did his dance with him in the middle of the movie.
I had braces in Jr. high and high school and I still have a permanent retainer on my lower front teeth.

On the exercise front, I took this entire week off to recover from my 1/2 marathon. I will go for a nice run tomorrow. Today, I'm taking the family to some pumpkin patches. Will ost some pics later!!

Port-a-Potty

2008-10-13T07:18:00.001-07:00

That's where I was when my race started...in a port-a-potty. By the time I got out, I had to sprint to catch up with the police car that was following the crowd. I had to haul ass to catch up with the race but I did. There were about 25 of us in line for the bathrooms and we were all stressing that we were going to be late and we were. So my hubs got no pictures of me at the start of the race since I ran out of the bathroom, past him, said a love you and was off. I had to have on 2 shirts and a light jacket, long pants, and my running gloves. It was sunny and about 35 degrees. I was grateful for no rain or wind. I took my water bottle and one double latte PowerBar gel.

I spent a couple of hours the night before making a running compilation. It was perfect. I didn't have to mess with my ipod at all. Music is so motivating to me. I really don't see how others go without it.

The city I live in is really pretty and has a river essentially running through it. Our race ran along the river. We ran on streets, our Centennial Trail, and a few dirt roads even. I was surprised we didn't have a timing chip since this was a rather large race. There were a ton of races happening at once: Marathon, marathon relay, 1/2 marathon, and a 5 mile. I don't know how they kept it all straight. I had about 3 people I kept my eye on that I wanted to stay with. They seemed like they were running at a pace I wanted to stick with. I can't believe how much I hate it when someone passes me. I let it go a little if it's a guy, but when it's another chick ggrrrrr. The 2 girls I had my eye on had passed me so my competitiveness wanted to stick with them. At one of the water stations I took them since they both stopped for water and I kept going since I had my own water. Near the end of the race though I was running out of gas and 2 different ladies passed me. I was OK with it though because I couldn't go any faster than I was.

Here are my overall results:

Finished: 1:48:52

Average pace: 8 min. 14 sec.

Age/Female group: 6th

Overall place: 131/675

One of the ladies that passed me said to me at the end, "Thank you. You really pushed me." That made me feel good. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment after it was done. Never in my whole like until recently did I EVER think that I, ME, MOI could run 13.1 miles! That just didn't even seem like a reality to me. Now I'm even considering trying a marathon. IT still seems out of the realm of possibility, but so did a 1/2.

Here's the weird thing. About a half an hour after my race, I had my lowfat chocolate milk for recovery food. I even had 1 (maybe 2) Krispy Kreme's (I know don't judge me! I had aunt flo talking to me and I've never had one before). Suddenly, when I got home my body started crashing. I could not get warm and all I wanted to do was jump into a hot bath. I knew I needed a cold bath though. So I got into a cold bath and my teeth chattered the whole time. My muscles felt good but I was now FREEZING. On top of that, my tummy went all kinds of crazy. I mean...it was not good. I was laid up in bed for 6 hours. I couldn't be more than 10 feet from the bathroom or I had a problem. I have a VERY sensitive tummy. Every time I go on a vacation, I always get "traveler's tummy." I think maybe I got so anxious for this race, that I made my tummy go nuts. It started the night before and I was making great food choices. I did finally find some Luna Moons and tried them, but I don't thing just eating 6 of those could have caused what happened to me yesterday. Not to be too graphic, but I weighed 5 lbs. less today than yesterday...that's how bad it was. It's doing better now, but not 100%. I hope this is not what will happen every time, because I don't think I can keep racing if it does. But for now, I already have my sights an another 1/2 marathon in March!! Here are a few unflattering photos:

Before the race:

Waiting in a HUGE line for the Port-a-Potty

My reaction to the hubs saying, "Go back. I didn't get the shot."

Me going back under the clock to get the pic.

Race Day

2008-10-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

It's race day and guess who came to visit me? My dear, old, sweet Aunt Flo. Curse you womanhood!!! AND there's frost on the ground. FROST!!! I can do this.....I can do this..I can this AND kick ass.

2008-10-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

So I tried PowerBar Gel in vanilla and it was pretty good tasting and I didn't notice any GI issues.

Last weekend, I saw some sports chew that I'd never seen before. The top is for adults and the bottom is a kids version. They are supposed to be organic and healthy. I might give it a try today.

I tried the Jelly Belly Sports beans before and again my tummy churned. My son ate a few before one of his soccer games and his tummy had issues too. That's what I get for letting my 7 year old eat something with extra energy. I might try the sports chews today.

I'm going to go back a couple today for my race tomorrow. I checked the weather for tomorrow and it will be cold but sunny. Yeah!!! I don't want to run in the rain since I don't have the gear and my dear (cheap) hubs will throw an ever lovin fit if I buy an expensive jacket just for my race. I do need to buy a new pair of running gloves though since I can only find one. That happens a lot around my house. I think the last thing I need is a nice pair of cushioning socks too. I pick up my packet today! I hope it has some good stuff in it :).

On the sickness front...no throw up yesterday! Woohooo!!! And none for me either. Just a runny nose and slight sore throat still. My husband is actually going to drive me to my race, take pictures of me at the start and finish of it! This is big. My husband thinks watching races sounds boring so he hasn't gone to any. And my race is tomorrow. You know Sunday. Ya know...football Sunday. I'm usually a Sunday widow. My hubs and his friends go watch football at a local sports bar every Sunday to cheer on their Fantasy Football teams. He doesn't do family things or anything on Sundays except that. So this is HUGE and means a lot to me.

Last, I know I've heard of people carbo loading before a big race, but I've also heard this doesn't make a difference it's what you eat 2 weeks prior to the race that matters. So my question, do any of you have a certain meal you eat the night before a race? On Saturday nights, our ritual is eating a DeLite pizza. This usually is fine for the tummers, but I've been advised to avoid dairy 24 hours before a race. So...just wondering if anyone has a go to meal?

3 More Days

2008-10-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

It's three more days until my first 1/2 marathon that I've been training for! What I've been fighting against this week though are sick people EVERYWHERE! I'm doomed when it comes to germs. I'm an elementary school teacher, have 3 kids, and 2 of them go to daycare!!! Since Friday, I have had someone throwing up near, around, or on me except for Tuesday (mysterious). Yes my darling duo are doing a tag team puke-a-thon, thus my absence from blogging since Friday. In fact, according to one of them last night I was only HIS mommy!!! I have been taking everything under the sun to avoid getting sick. I hope I don't keel over from toxic shock syndrome from all the herbs I'm pumping in me. I'm drinking E-mergen-C twice a day, sucking on zinc lozenges twice daily, and now added a new powder to drink called Umcka. A coworker swore by it so I'll try it. Right now I have a runny nose and a tiny sore throat, but I'm not vomiting so I'm A-OK.

Since my last blog I was off to jump into a hot bath after icing my knee. This was a HUGE mistake of gianormous proportions!!! I could actually feel my heart beating inside of my knee. Not a good feeling. I will stick to just ice for now. My knees for the most part are feeling better since I bought my new kix: Saucony ProGrid Omni 7 Moderates.

On Saturday it was a gray, misty morning. I was surprised at how vacant the trail was. Last weekend, there were tons of people, but they were running clubs. Apparently, they run a different part of the trail on alternate Saturdays. It was quiet and peaceful, but frankly I like it when the trail is busy. More witnesses if ya know what I'm saying. Anyway, I took my new water bottle, filled it with Ultima Replienisher electolyte power and water, and a pack of Strawberry Banana Gu to try. I ate 2 pieces of lite WW bread with PB2 on them before the run. I was off but my legs felt heavy. They aren't usually like that but I made my regular time. That was strange to me because I felt like I was moving slower. Go figure. As I ran, I tried taking small sips of my water. At mile 4 I went off my trail to tackle a hill. A mile long hill to be exact. A mile long hill at a 10% grade!!! Holy hell this was hard....but I never walked. I just kept on going slow and steady. At the top is where I gave myself my GU. It tasted surprisingly good. What a relief to be able to run down hill one of my miles! I was waiting for my knee to start aching, but it felt good (new shoes I tell ya)! I was able to finish my 10 miles in 93 minutes...3 minutes slower than last week, but I didn't dot he monster hill last week either. Here's my product review:

Strawberry Banana GU- Taste: good GI Issue- Tummy gurgled and churned the rest of the day

Ultima Replenisher- Taste: ack GI Issue- Instead heartburn and burbage all through my run

Mocha Clif Shot- Taste: eewwww GI issue- None

Tomorrow I'll see what the PowerBar gel tastes like. I might just Milky Way it. Good luck to my girls who read this blog and are also racing this weekend!!!

Just Over a Week to Go

2008-10-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

My Half Marathon is next Sunday! My knees are still aching. In fact, I was limping to bed last night. I fell asleep with ice on top and bottom of my knee and when I woke up it felt better. I read on Runner's World different symptoms of knee ailments and mine sounds like "runner's knee." They suggest backing off on mileage for now, which is an option next week since it's my taper week. I bought a new pair of shoes despite hubs argument still. I'm hoping that will help my problem. Running 6 miles on the treadmill today hurt my other knee now!

I also bought a small handheld bottle to carry on my run. I tried it out this morning and it wasn't as bad as I thought. It's really weird for me since I've never had anything to drink on a run. I have to get used to small sips. I probably should have been doing this sooner than a week before race day, but hopefully I'll adjust. Tomorrow I'm going to try peanut butter toast before my run, as well as some Clif Goo during. The goo freaks me out a bit. Anyone have a fav to recommend? I still don't even know if I need it, but it can't hurt right? I'd rather have it than not finish this race. I've purchased several different brands to try which might be cutting it close right now. I tried a PowerBar chew thing that's supposed to be similar to Clif Shot Bloks. Didn't like it at ALL. I thought I'd choke if I tried to eat that while running. I also have electrolyte powder to add to my water.

Thanks to all you runners for your advice for this newbie here. Currently as I type, there's ice on the knee and I have a warm bath I'm about to jump in. Oh, and I have been really hungry lately. Especially at night. Unfortunately, I have been giving in and eating the wrong things which has showed up in the form of 2 pounds on the scale. On Fiterella's sight, it has a guide to how much you should be eating according to your activity level and if you want to lose or maintain your weight. Since I'm STILL not back to my presurgery weight, I have been wanting to lose weight. Therefore, I've been trying to eat just 1500 calories a day. I'm down 3 pounds, but still would like to be back to what I was. I drive my husband crazy. He wants to know why I'm obsessed about getting back to that weight. Well the way my clothes still fit for one thing! He thinks it's not the extra weight that's causing my muffin top, but the fact that I'm wearing normal undies now compared to the fat-sucking-in ones that I used to wear daily. They went almost to my bra to hide my loose skin. So I could have had this back fat before and just couldn't tell. But now that my loose skin is gone, I don't want to have to wear the ugly granny panties anymore. I guess I'll have to pick the lesser of two evils. Anyhoo, my bath awaits me!

Monday- Ran 8.5 miles including 2 sets of 2:00, 3:00 & 4:00 sprints
Tuesday- rest
Wednesday- Ran 7 miles including 4 2:00 sprints and 6 gentle pickups
Thursday- rest
Friday- 6.7 miles
Tomorrow- 10 miles!

September Goal Reflection-
#1 Running 4 times a week- Accomplished
#2 Lifting Weights/Cross train 3 times a week- Not enough, very sporadic
#3 Exercise for a total of 120 miles- Close 112.36
#4 Continue Push Up challenge- Yes and redoing Week 4
#5 Say, "Thank you," to a compliment- Did AMAZINGLY well with this goal

Will think of October goals for next post.

Attention All Athletes

2008-09-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

So since my Saturday night out with old friends, I have been going forward with my HM training. I ran 36 miles last week! Also, I did week 4 of the pushup challenge, but I need to do it again. It was the first week where I could barely finish the sets. So, since my last blog I hit a major milestone in my life. I ran my first 10 miles on Saturday! I ran it in an hour and a half. It felt like a huge accomplishment! But since I have been running 8 or more miles the last couple of weeks, my knees are starting to hurt! I have had to ice them nightly. When I'm at work, they are cracking all the time. My knees haven't acted up in years, so I'm surprised at the sudden pain I'm feeling. My race is in less than 2 weeks though, so unless I drop dead or have to have crutches, I WILL run this race. I heard I might need to replace my shoes again. I'll try it and see. I don't think I've run 500 miles yet, and my dear old hubs thinks it's BS. He said to me, "Cars weigh 2 tons and they don't need a tire change for 30,000 miles. How can you have worn out your shoes that you just bought in May?" He held them up to me and said they look brand new and he sees no holes so what's the problem? My hubs is sweet but a bit of a cheap skate. I've been trying to stretch and massage my legs to see if it helps. I've read ice baths help but that sounds H-O-R-R-I-D. Any other thoughts?

Also, I have been reading more about running and found out I better buy a running belt or handheld bottle with some Gatorade type fluids in it so I don't "hit the wall." I usually don't like to drink water while I run because I easily get side aches. When I went to my local running store this weekend, he told me I definitely NEED to be drinking and it could be what I eat before I run that gives me side cramps. So, since up until now my runs have been under an hour, I wasn't eating at all. Lately, I've been eating a Luna Nutrition for Women bar an hour before I run. I need advice. What do you runners eat before a race and how many hours prior to you eat it? I have one health condition that did not go away losing weight and that's the very embarrassing IBS. So many times when I run, I not only get pain in my side, but it jumps up to around my collar bone area and hurts enough to slow me down. I don't want to run out of energy, but I also don't want to wake up at 4 am so my body can digest my food before my 10:30 race. So..advice..eating tips...time tips...knee tips??? I'll take anything peeps. And even you nonrunners but peeps who workout...what do you eat before exercise? Thanks all!

I Could Get Used to This

2008-09-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

On Saturday night, the hubs and I met up with a lot of old high school friends for a karaoke party. Many people I haven't seen in a few to up to 10 years. I feel almost guilty or conceded for these thoughts but...I can't tell you how great it felt to hear peoples reactions when they saw me. Mouths dropped to the ground...speechlessness...saying some inappropriate words. I saw one old friend who was one of many girls I went to high school with who could eat anything and everything she wanted and couldn't gain weight. Well we are in our 30's now and her metabolism has slowed down a bit. She yelled at me and told me I was making the rest of them look bad.

I've never been in this place before. The place of being smaller than all of my girl friends. None of them ever had a weight problem. None of them understood what it was like for me to watch them eat donuts for breakfast, candy on our breaks, pizza and fries for lunch or dinner and be stick thin. I would be sad and embarrassed to go shopping with them. I hated how they could all trade clothes with each other but not me. I hated being the fattest bridesmaid in ALL of their weddings. They were used to me like this. I was used to me like this. My friend who yelled at me last night yelled at me back in the day. "If you want to lose weight, lose weight. Get over it. It's not that hard. Look at me. I hate being called skinny. It's just as bad as me calling you fat." My best friend would blow a gasket if someone guessed her weight to be 125. "125, I'm not fat," would be her response. I remember thinking that was the weight I would tell people I weighed when I really weighed 140. If she thought 125 was fat, what did she really think of me?

So last night, it was interesting to watch them. They were turning into the old me. They'd look at me, then look down and their tummies and start grabbing and pulling at places. I frequently heard the words, "Whatever," "Shut up" "Oh my god." I finally got a bit irritated and told them to be nice. I was always the big girl. I've worked my ass of literally. Can't you just be happy for me? I'm not doing anything to purposely make you feel bad about yourself, I'm just trying to learn and live a healthy life. Why do most of us compare ourselves to others? It's a horrible, vicious cycle we do to ourselves.

I do understand though because that's how I used to be. Just being around those skinny girls made me feel bad about myself. Again, they weren't doing anything to me, but it felt like a conspiracy. That all these girls had a trick or knew a secret and wouldn't share it with me. They were all in their thin club, humoring me because I was the funny fat girl. None of them worked for their young bodies before. They didn't watch what they ate. They definitely didn't work out, though a few did some sports. But they are doing the same things now as they did then but they're getting different results. They find it insane that I run. They've never even heard of 5 or 10K's. I hope they all will go through the learning process that I had to. I feel good that I'm small because I worked for it. I was not given a naturally thin body. I have to work everyday. Those girls never had to do it before and are having a hard time doing it now. The best compliment I heard of the night was my own hubs saying to me, "You know you were the hottest girl there tonight right?" I could get used to this :).

Race Recap- 2nd Place Female

2008-09-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

For this race, I was surprised at the disorganization of the whole thing. First, I went to register online like I always do. Paypal got my payment amazingly enough, but not my age, sex, or race I was doing. Then, I almost didn't go in on Friday to register since they said they were only registering until 4:30. Luckily I called and they told me it was a typo and that I could come until 6. When I went to register, I had already emailed someone with my info that paypal lost, but yet AGAIN they didn't have my info just my moolah. They did give me a goodie bag that was a green reusable grocery bag, some YMCA pamphlets, chap stick, a Bumble Bar (which tasted and looked like birdseed), chapstick, a vitamin water, and a t-shirt. Their were two races simultaneously, a 5K and a 10K. The trail the race was on is open to the public, so we all had to crowd on the sides to let bicyclists and other walker/runners not involved in the race (hence my problem last weekend) through. Once the race started, I watched about 15 guys and 1 chick go sprinting like they were on fire or something. They were not fooling around. I'm used to this trail and it only has gentle inclines and declines. It was perfect weather, overcast but about 60 degrees. Since this race was 3.1 miles in and then you turn around, I knew what place I was in for the females...2nd! The first place girl smoked me probably by 5 or 10 minutes. I was proud of myself though because no one passed me and I passed 2 men! Two dudes!!! That's never happened in the middle or end of a race before, but it did this time! When the race was over, I had a woman and a couple tell me my pink shorts were their focus point. "We kept trying to catch you, but you had a really good pace." The bummer at the end was, I forgot my husbands watch, I don't have a fancy running watch yet (any suggestions for me to ask for at Christmas??), and they weren't timing us! They said to me, "This wasn't a timed event, but would you like it to be next year?" Umm let me see...YYEESSSS! I hate when I don't know my time. The 4th place gal had a clock on and hers was stopped at 48:00 so I assume I did it in 47:00 which is a PR for me! No pics of me either except a few my mama took of me before the race. I'll have to post them when she downloads her camera. Knowing my mom though, that could be in 6 months!!! Anyway, I felt good about my race again and am feeling more and more confident that I'll be ready for my HM in October!

Weekly Workouts

2008-09-19T18:33:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow I have another race in my HM training schedule. It's another small race (in numbers I mean). A 10K this time. It's on the same trail the ALS walkers were on, but it sounds like this race is much smaller. I'm surprised because it too is a worthy cause, it's a race to fight hunger. It starts at 9:00 and then there are a ton of festivities I'm going to take my kiddos to. I have to take grandma with me because it's a 2 person job whenever I try to take my darling duo out in public. They will have pony rides, a petting zoo, bouncy castles, and a fishing pond (with real fish). It should be a chaotic kind of fun. Here are my workouts for the week:

Monday- Ran 3 miles, 2 X 2:00 AI, 2 X 2:30 AI, 1 x 3:00 AI + 6 gentle pickups for a total of 5.7 miles
Tuesday- Rest
Wednesday- 1 mile uphill, 1 mile with 2 GP, repeat 2 more times for a total of 6.1 miles
Thursday- Week 3 day 3 push up challenge 30, 22,22, 20, 35 that's 124 push ups!!!
Friday- 4.5 miles in 43 minutes

I'll post my race results over the weekend. Wish me luck!

Feeling More "Normal" One Day at a Time

2008-09-18T17:59:00.000-07:00

Ack I don't know how you folks do it keeping up with posts, commenting, etc. plus work and kids. Anyhoo, my 8 miler on Saturday was interesting to say the least. I run on a paved trail used by many walkers, bicyclists, roller-bladers, runners, etc. In fact, it goes from one city in my state to a neighboring city in another state...over 30 miles just one way. As I started on the trail, I saw tons of signs saying, "Caution Walkers Ahead." There were also signs of encouragement from business owners and family members. As I was going in for my first 4 miles, it was busy but no major walking event that I could see. As I was coming back for my 2nd 4 miles, I was coming down from a slight hill and there I saw them. Herds of them. Hundreds of them. Walkers all just starting their walk in the same direction I was headed. They were walking to raise money and awareness for ALS. I thought it was great because I wasn't sure what ALS was so I made sure to look it up when I got home. It's Lou Gerigh's disease and it sounds horrible. A very worthy casue. But, I wasn't sure what to do since they were taking up the entire width of the trail. I didn't know if I should just run on the streets, walk behind them, or try to pass them. I did the later of the three. I was running in gravel, through bushes, under tree branches, past dogs, etc. I felt like I couldn't stop my run because I'm building endurance. This crowd came around my 6 mile marker. It took me most of the 7th mile to pass all of them, which I did. The last mile was easy sailing. I was proud that I still ran my 8 miles in 70 minutes considering the wall of people I had to move around.

I have been noticing that I am receiving compliments easier than I used to. I'm not sure if I thought I'd be conceded taking compliments or what but I mostly think I just didn't agree with their assessment. One day in particular, I had a new outfit on that the hubs and I disagreed about. I thought it was cute and he thought it was just alright. Almost all of my staff and several parents commented on the outfit (which to me proves that I have better taste than the hubs :)). But, I simply said, "Thank you," to each and every compliment. Not, "Well I used to be almost 200 lbs," or "Well you should have seen me before, " or "I'm not skinny. You're high," like I normally did. I also am finally seeing a sort of smallness to my body. When I was sitting in a meeting with other parents, for some reason I was looking at the width of my legs and hips compared to others around me. I did notice I was smaller than many of them. I'm also not doubling taking as much to my own reflection as I used to. I really am trying to "fake it til I make it" with my body image. Plus, it always makes me feel better when the scale is showing my hard work. I have been adding a lot of HIT's to my runs and it's showing on the scale. That lil bugger hadn't moved in awhile, but it's finally starting to get back to normal. I am evolving I tell you. Who would I be if I wasn't the fat, cynical, self-deprecated, class clown girl? I didn't know, but I'm starting to find out.

"How Did You Stay With It?"

2008-09-13T08:31:00.000-07:00

This is the new reoccurring question I keep getting. How did you STAY at weight watchers, how did you STAY motivated, how did you STAY on track? Often, I have people ask me how I lost my weight. I tell them Weight Watchers. Then I might hear a comment like, "Well I do Weight Watchers and I haven't lost any weight," or "I go for about a week, lose 5 lbs. and then I'm over it." These comments are always perplexing to me. I think the difference might be beyond motivation or will power. I think it's about your mind set. I had tried other diets before and had little success. I jumped on the Oprah diet bandwagon. I bought all of Dr. Phil's weight loss books. Even had a short love affair with Phen Fen. The problem was, I had a DIET mind set while on these. My thoughts would be, "How fast can I lose this weight," and "I can't wait until I lose weight so I can eat bread again," etc. This type of mind set will lead to failure ever time. I think the people who say they're on weight watchers and can't loose weight have a diet mind set. A quick fix mentality if you will.

I am a very goal oriented person. I needs goals in my life. When I joined weight watchers, I had a goal. My goal was to get to a healthy weight to no longer be prediabetic AND to be able to get pregnant. My sister-in-law had joined WW and lost 50 lbs. so I saw that it worked. Once I walked into my 1st WW meeting I was hooked. I did everything they told me. I figured out my points, wrote EVERYTHING I ate down, drank my water, made sure I was getting my fruits, dairy, and veggies. Well, I guess I shouldn't say everything, because they want you to get 2 tsp. of healthy oils daily, and I do have a problem getting that in. Anyway, I was on a mission and kept going until I accomplished my goal. There was never, "Maybe I'll get to goal or I might get to goal." It was always, "When I get to goal or I have to get to goal." I wasn't in it for a quick fix. I was in it to change my life. My mind set was on a LIFE STYLE change rather than on a diet.

After I had stopped nursing my darling duo, I knew I couldn't wait to get back to WW. I hear of people stopping and starting WW many times, of people getting to goal weight, leaving the program, and then coming back because they gained their weight back. I have not been one of those people. I have joined, committed to changing my life, and have stayed. WW is not just about tracking food, they encourage daily physical activity and different mind set tools. The mind set tools are what I will continue to work on since I have not yet conquered my thoughts yet.

So how did I stay? There was never any other option for me. If I didn't, I would have type 2 diabetes by now, continue to have acid reflux and be medicated daily, continue having to wear my darth vader mask at bed due to sleep apnea, puff on my inhaler daily, and probably just be the mother of one rather than 3. Not staying was never an option in my mind. I wasn't wishy-washy, I wasn't just going with the flow. I make a conscious effort every day to make positive changes for myself. I don't see doing it any other way now.

On the exercise front, here's how my week and HM training went:
Monday- Pilates bun and thighs, Week 3 Day 1 push up challenge: 25, 17, 17, 15, 25
Tuesday- Ran 3 miles, did 2:00, 2:30, 2:30 sprints, 2 miles for a total of 6.25 miles
Wednesday- Day 2 push up challenge 27, 19, 19, 15, 30
Thursday- Ran w/ 4 1:30 sprints and 6 gp for a total of 6 miles
Friday- Ran 4.5 miles
Saturday- Changing my long runs from Sundays to today, so I'm off to run 8 miles!

Pros and Cons of Running Outdoors

2008-09-08T21:03:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all my props on the race. When I said it was small I mean it was SMALL. We didn't have race numbers, just stickers they asked us to wear on our shirts. I happened to lose mine without even realizing it until they asked for it at the finish line. There were no pictures taken and most of the people there were students, parents, or teachers at a private school who started this race as a fundraiser for the athletic department. But hey, it's probably the best place I'll ever get so I'm basking in my glory! Anyhoo, on Sunday my race training called for a 4-5 mile run after racing. I thought my legs or knee might hurt, which they did, but oddly enough running made them feel better! What's up with that??? I started my run around my neighborhood since I wasn't sure my knee was up for running. I have mapped out several routes around where I live so I thought I could estimate 5 miles. I don't have a fancy running watch yet. So I left my house at 10:05 and ran back into my kitchen at 11:00. Ack!!! I was confused. How did I run 5 miles in 55 minutes? My pace is usually faster than 10:00 min. miles. So what did I do with my compulsive self, I drove my route to measure it. What I thought was 5 miles was actually 6.1 so I was a bit happier with my pace. The good news for me was that I actually felt good the whole race. Many times when I run, I get tummy aches or shooting pains in my collar bone area. Not yesterday. I felt like I could have kept going, but I had a party to get to. Speaking of the party, no cake or ice cream, but I did have a few handfuls of chips. Pretty successful for me since normally if I eat one chip, I standing by and devour the whole bowl the rest of the function.

Well, while I was running I was making a list of pros and cons for running outside vs. my treadmill. So here is what I came up with:

Pros- Seeing the colors of nature...the green grass...beautiful flowers...live trees..crystal clear water.
Cons- The smells of cut grass kills me...seasonal allergies plus I have a thing with smells when I exercise.

Pros- Seeing different animals in their habitats...geese flying over head...a squirrel trying to catch a nut...baby bunnies running for cover.
Cons- Dogs not on their leashes that I'm afraid will chase after me and bite me in the ass!

Pros- The variety of views I get to see instead of my basement walls
Cons- Roadkill!

Pros- The view of the beautiful weather
Cons- Getting nailed in the face, arms, and legs with bugs of various sizes

Pros- It's more challenging running on streets for me than my treadmill
Cons- I feel nervous and eyeball any man in my near vicinity ready to gouge out an eyeball if need be

Biggest Pro- Time flies when I'm running outdoors!
Biggest Con- Not having a bathroom 20 feet away!

How about it runners? Have anymore to add to the list?

First Place Female

2008-09-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

Boy starting school has been hectic and therefore I'm behind on my writing and reading blogs. Here's what's been happening this week. The most exciting news is that I ran a 5K today and won 1st place of all the females. It was a very small race, but there were a ton of young girls that I thought would smoke me. I finished in 26.15.27. The top overall finisher finished in 16 minutes! Are you kidding me??? That's never gonna happen here, but I'm proud of my time. Especially since the last mile was all uphill. And this is not some little low grade hill...I'm guessing this hill was at least a 7% incline and it was windy. My left knee hurts a bit either from:
A) Running down hill in a mowed wheat field.
B) Having to jump over a ditch going downhill.
C) Running up the switchbacks.

I went to my gym afterwards and soaked in the hot tub for a bit and then in the cold pool. It seems better and I hope so since I'm only at the end of week 3 in training and I can't afford any days off.

I was very frustrated that a dude who I saw stop to walk at least 3 times still beat me. I just couldn't catch him on that hill, but I did NOT stop to walk once!!! Yeah for me!!!

Let's see what else, oh , I want to add another goal for myself for September. I have an extremely hard time taking a compliment. Someone will compliment me and I somehow turn around and give myself a put down rather than take it, so my goal is to just say, "Thank you," to a compliment.

Also, I joined the Bad Boys vs. Bad Girls of Running challenge. The girls are behind so please check it out if you're getting miles in for workouts.

Wednesday- Bun & Thigh Pilates, week 2 day 2 push up challenge: 16, 13, 11, 11, 25, 2 sets of the following w/ 8 lb. weights: overhead press, bicep curls, tricep extensions, hammer curls, & bend over row.
Thursday- Run 4 miles including 5 1:00 sprints and 4 gentle pickups for 4.65 total
Friday- rest for race
Saturday- 5k Top Female Finisher WooHooo!!!!

Tomorrow I plan on a 5 mile run depending on how my knee and butt feels after today. I also have my best friends son's birthday party to go to. Maybe I can eat a small sliver of cake since I'm going to run in the am. Ya think? We'll see! My actual challenge isn't the cake usually, it's the chips that are around. I wonder if I'll ever think like a normal person when I go to functions. Most people are thankful that they don't have to cook and are getting a free meal. When I hear about buffets or free meals I panic since I'm not eating things that I'm controlling OR more importantly, I don't know the exact points on. I'm fine for indulging once and awhile, but I want to know the point value. I freak out if I don't know. Will I ever be over that? Will I ever not still be the fat girl inside? Things to ponder. For now I will just bask in my glory. Oh by the way, thank you all for recommending Body Glide for my problem. I actually have discovered I already have a product that works a bit the same. I use Aquaphor on my tummy tuck scar. It's a healing ointment and it has a vaseline type consistency and it's been great. I haven't bled at all even though it's still a newer wound.

How about any of you that struggle now or have struggled with weight in the past? Do you all get twitchy and nervous around open eating situations? Or is it just me?

Issue #3 My Body Image

2008-09-02T19:26:00.001-07:00

So if you haven't noticed by now, I have a poor body image. I have always had it but thought it would magically go away once I lost my weight. But here it is staring me in the face and mirror everyday. I was reading my Shape magazine tonight and found a little blurb that fits me to a T. The author suggested that when you wake up and look in the mirror, instead of focusing on your flaws (ahem moi), tell yourself, "Hi beautiful," instead. The author said that when you constantly put yourself down it's a self fulfilling prophecy. You have to break the pattern of bashing into appreciating. This comes from the book Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds From Now by Jess Weiner. This sounds like a book I may need to read. Also, I've heard to stare at your body and find things about it you LIKE. OK so here goes...I like my calves. They are muscular and have no cellulite.

More positivity...I made it through my first day of school with my 2nd graders. A chatty but sweet bunch. My oldest son is also in 2nd grade at my school, but he's not in my classroom. Here we are before leaving the house:

Also, reflecting on August Goals here's how I did:

#1 Back to running at least 4 times a week- Accomplished

#2 Go to the Y for Stair Master and Weights at least 4 times a week- Work in progress

#3 Exercise for a total of 100 miles- Accomplished with 118.5 total miles!!!

September Goals-

#1 Continue my 1/2 marathon training

#2 Continue the 100 push-up challenge

#3 Cross train on rest days

Exercise over the weekend:

Saturday- 4 mile run + 8 mile hike with hubby up 1100 feet in elevation! We started at the base of the lake and climbed up to see this view:

Sunday- Long run of 7 miles

Monday- Week 2, day 1 of push up challenge: 12, 12, 9, 7, 25

Tuesday- Ran 2 miles, 1:00, 1:30, & 2:00 sprints, end with 2 miles for 5.65 total miles

Oh and something new has happened to me. I have heard of athletes chaffing after working out. I recently have done that under my tribal boobs. It's like I caused a blister. When I took off my shirt after my long run, you could see blood on my bra. When I lifted it up (you know about the tribal boobs right), it was rubbed raw. It hurt like a motha in the shower. So you exercise folks, this happen to any of you? What do you do to avoid/heal chaffing? I've heard it can happen on the back too.

Negative Nelly Trying to be Postitive

2008-08-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

OK I'm motivated by Annette's purely positive attitude. With that in mind, here are positive changes I have made over my weight loss journey:

BEFORE: For dinner, I'd serve Noodle or Rice-a-Roni every night for a side dish

NOW: I serve brown rice or whole grain noodles occasionally for dinner

BEFORE: Ate fast food at least 4 times a week

NOW: Eat out once a week...usually Papa Murphy's Delite Hawaiian style pizza

BEFORE: Never thought about a portion or portion control

NOW: I anally measure out my food with a food scale or measuring cups...including my wine!

BEFORE: Breakfast would be Diet Dr. Pepper or Frappuccino , and pastry

NOW: Lower sugar Quaker oatmeal, Kashi Go Lean Crunch w/ nonfat milk, or on busy days a Clif Bar and fruit

BEFORE: I'd eat about 3-4 cookies for dessert without a second thought

NOW: Dessert can be fruit, yogurt, WW or Skinny Cow Fudgecicle, or sugar free pudding

BEFORE: Off and on exerciser with taking a step aerobics class here or taking walks there

NOW: Unless sick or recovery from surgery, I try to do something active at least 5 times a week

BEFORE: Ate Velveeta mac n cheese like no bodies business, and then the lower fat version came and ate twice as much since it was better for me

NOW: Mac n who?

BEFORE: On busy days, I'd be a Hamburger Helper fool

NOW: You couldn't pay me to eat that stuff

BEFORE: Drank alcohol most weekends

NOW: Occasionally/rarely drink

BEFORE: Never paid attention to food labels

NOW: Takes me twice as long to grocery shop since I'm inspecting every new label I encounter

BEFORE: Fav restaurant order: Denny's Sampler or All American Slam

NOW: Outback Steakhouse's Grill Chicken on the Barbie

BEFORE: Ate at brunch buffets for most holidays and plenty of other Sundays

NOW: We go to the park or do something as a family rather than it being about the food

BEFORE: Ate chips and french fries as if they were a veggie...you know...since they're made from potatoes!

NOW: Very rarely eat either since both are trigger foods for me

BEFORE: Drank anything and everything except water

NOW: Drink at least 64 oz. plus I make sure I drink a water bottle full before I get my next cup of coffee

BEFORE: Maximum amount of workout- walk 4 miles

NOW- Can run up to 7.5 miles

BEFORE: Size 18 clothes, XL -XXL shirts

NOW: Between a 2-4, size xs-s shirts

Reflecting back I am definitely a more healthy person. I am grateful, strangely, for my health scare and infertility because it woke me up to my out of control lifestyle. Making my changes, I now have my crazy, insane, no-fear but totally worth it, twins. And believe me, they help me with having an active lifestyle.

Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone!!!

Back to work is tiring and I haven't even met a student yet!

2008-08-28T22:52:00.000-07:00

I've been an exhausted, emotional wreck the last 2 days. Setting up a classroom is hard work. I really hate it when people say to me, "Oh it must be nice to have 3 months off in the summer." Yes it is nice to have consecutive days off. But it's not 3 months, and believe me, I work way above and beyond my 7 hour day. I don't know many other people who stay at their jobs after they are "clocked out." I don't know of many people who take their work home and stay up to finish it and I don't know of many people who go in on their days off (holidays and weekends) to do their work and not get paid. I was at work today from 8:30 am until 8:30 pm. I am WIPED OUT!!!!

Anyway, here's my status: still pissed at my lovely lady lumps but I'll get over it. I never thought I'd see the day where I was pissed that I weight 125. That's the weight I always used to lie and say I was when I was really 140! Ha! I also should be grateful that I actually weigh less now than I did in high school and that I say I weighed on my driver's licence. Come on ladies, am I the only one who ALWAYS lied on my weight for that. I actually weigh less than it says now so I want to get it renewed for the 1st time in my life!

For exercise, I'm .5 miles away from my 100 mile goal for the month.

Wednesday- rest day for running, but did my buns and thighs Pilates video and day 2 of week 1 in the Push Up challenge: 12, 12, 10, 10, 12 plus 2 sets of 12 dips on my stairs

Thursday- Walked for 5 min. 4 rpms on a 4% incline, ran on 4% incline @ 5 rpms 1 mile, another mile on 1% w/ 4 gradual pickups from 6, 6.2, 6.4 then 6.8 rpms, repeat both for a total of 4 miles running, and 5 min. cool down at 4% incline 4 rpms. I felt my chest muscles running this morning from the push ups yesterday.

OK, off to bed for another long day so I don't have to go into work this Labor Day weekend.

Muscles-Better...Attitude-Crapola

2008-08-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

My muscles feel much better today and handled running great. Today for my training I ran a 2 mile warm up, did 7 1:00 aerobic sprints which added up to a little over a mile with recovery time, and a 2 mile cool down. I was DRIPPING with sweat and loved it. I know I worked then. I am really glad I rested yesterday.

So as most of you know, due to two very healthy twins and a weight loss, I had a tummy tuck June 23. They removed a pound of skin so naturally, I expected to see myself weighing 1 pound less on the scale. That has NOT EVER HAPPENED. In fact, I have been up roughly 10 lbs. since this surgery. Could I blame it on fluid retention post surgery? Sure. Could I blame it on being on partial bed rest for 6 weeks? Perhaps. But whatever it is I have a frickin muffin top that I haven't had in a year and a half. My frickin jeans are tight and have hang over. What the hell??? Even now, I've been back to working out regularly for 3 weeks and has it showed on the scale? NO!!!! Am I allowing myself to eat more since I'm working out more and maybe that's it? NO!!!! So why is the weight sticking to me? It's pissing me off. I'd kick it's ass if it wasn't planted onto mine! GGrrrrr is about all I can say right now. Guh to the errrrrrrrrrrrrr. What's funny too is that I'm EXHAUSTED tonight and all I did most of the day was sit my ever growing ass and talk or listen to people talk. I'm glad I ran in the AM.

2008-08-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

I am glad that I am following a 1/2 marathon training plan so I can feel better about "resting" today. Normally after having a hard workout day, if I'm sore, I would just tell myself to stop being a wimp, suck it up, and workout some more. Seeing scheduled rest days gives me permission to do just that...rest... because my muscles need it. Oh boy are they sore. Right now if my thighs could talk they would say,

"This is bull*%$#,
hell to the no,
oh-no-you-din't!!!"

I did a LOT of stretching today. Also, I kept myself moving most of the day because if I sit for too long and try to walk my legs say, "Think again!" It did have a nice, hot bath in my jacuzzi tub during nap time and that was fab-u-lous! I highly recommend long baths as any kind of reward for oneself. That along with a nice gossip mag and I am set! Tomorrow it's back to training and school for me. Question of the day: What do you do to ease sore muscles?

Weekend Happenings

2008-08-24T22:20:00.000-07:00

Friday night I was invited to a coworkers house for a house warming party. There were drinks and appetizers there. I have been doing Weight Watchers since 2005 and I still struggle eating in social situations. Especially if there's alcohol involved. I felt like I did OK with only having 2 glasses of wine, but for some reason the MINUTE I have wine, all of my old eating habits come back. I just want to eat everything!!! Luckily, she had pretty healthy appetizers there: hummus and pita bread, chips and salsa, and fruit and dip. I was stupid to not eat dinner before going over there. Then I had one more drink of a fresh huckleberry martini (never had a martini in my life). It was good but it made me let my guard down some more. The host had left over carrot cake that she got out, set it on the table, and just gave everyone forks (minus the plate). I felt like a Hoover vacuum just sucking up that cake. I could not stop eating it. IT wasn't even real carrot cake but did I care? NO! I haven't had cake in months so I just went c-r-a-z-y!!! Not a wise choice. The one thing I am proud of was I was really needing some real food and passed several fast food restaurants on the way home. In the past, I would have had McDonalds all the way. I resisted the greasy, yet delicious after drinking, temptation. Yeah for me. The sad part is, I probably went to bed around 2 am and my darling duo came to wake me at 6 am. OK, I am not 21 anymore. Having no sleep, not enough nutrition the night before, plus a slight hangover kicked my ass. I was beat up feeling all day. The only productive thing I did Saturday was I did go on a 4 mile run! After that I had to have a 3 hour nap!

Sunday was better. I got a decent amount of sleep which helps tremendously. Then, I went on our local trail system that goes along our river and did my 1st long run for my 1/2 marathon training. It was 7 miles. Boy, I can't believe how fast I got out of shape. I ran a 12K in May in 59 minutes. Today was a bit shorter distance than that and it took me about an hour and 20 minutes. I did not stop once though! I had to keep telling myself that it's just the first week. I can get my speed back throughout this training...I don't have to do it all the 1st week. Then, I got a lot of work down in my classroom. I feel so much better when I am productive. I just feel bad that 2 days I was away from my kiddos a lot. They LOVE their grandma though and she was here all weekend. Ah mommy guilt. I'll save that for my next blog.

Intimidation Anyone?

2008-08-22T08:13:00.001-07:00

So as you've been reading, I'm trying to become a runner. I'm still not sure if long distance running will be for me, but I'm willing to try it to see. But I can TOTALLY see how some people don't want to try new things. New things are intimidating. New things to me make me feel stupid. I hate feeling stupid so I usually resort to not trying it rather than looking stupid. Right now I'm reading all of these runners blogs and running sites. They speak in another language that I just don't get. I called my ultra athletic sister-in-law last night for some advice and she made me feel even more overwhelmed. I always thought running was just running but it's NOT apparently. Here are some examples:

Runners usually just use their outer leg muscles and are off balance with their inner leg muscles and so I should do some downhill training or else I can get a knee injury.

Runners do either in-outs or point to points.

Tempo runs

Gentle pick ups

Recovery food

Cross training

Luckily, when I started running I didn't do any research, I just ran. If I would have read all of this 1st, I would have dropped my head in shame and continued working out to my DVD's, at home, in private, where I wouldn't feel incompetent.

Today is a rest day in my training, so I did weights instead. Here's my workout for the morning:
100 push up challenge day 1:
10
10
8
6
10

2 sets of 15 dips on my stairs

Then the following with my 8 lb. weights, 2 sets of each:
squats
lunges
bent over row (thanks to Miz's blooper reel)
overhead press
alternating bicep curls
pull ups
single leg squats (oh this takes some serious balance)

1 set:
plank position tricep kick backs (again thanks Miz for the demo on the vid)
I actually worked up a sweat lifting at home. That may be a first! When you all do weights, do you at it at home or at the gym? How many days a week do you lift?

Getting Stabbed in the Eye with an Ice Pick

2008-08-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

That used to be my choice over running. When people would tell me they were running, I'd think to myself, "Are you kidding me? Why? What's the point?" Running and myself were never on the same level. I used to be a very active child. I participated in soccer from grades 3-7 until I developed asthma and it was a struggle me. In jr. high, I was on the drill team and played basketball, volleyball, softball and track. In my 9th grade year, I injured my knee and how to go to physical therapy. In high school, I was on the drill team again so I danced about an hour a day. I LOVE to dance. In another life, I would have loved to learn to dance professionally. Right now, I just get my own grove on. In my senior year, I reinjured my my knee dancing and had to be on crutches for a month and go back to physical therapy. That year of high school, I dropped out of the dance team since they were more into the flags and I wanted to dance to MC Hammer. Not even realizing it, this is when my weight jumped up 20 lbs. It's taken me this long to figure out that my body needs to be active. I was active so long to just drop it was not a good thing.

I have been on this weight loss journey for a long time. I look back over the journals I've kept for the last 10 years. Besides my current weight, the lowest my weight was was 155 on my wedding day. Now a month earlier, I weighed 170. How did I drop the weight so fast? Like many people in the 90's: Phen Fen. I won't EVEN go into how stupid that was and how much it messed up my body. Quick fixes were my thing.

Having previous knee injuries and weighing 191 on this 5'4 frame it was HARD to walk let alone run. But walking and step aerobics is where I started. It's embarrassing to admit it, but my thighs used to chafe when I'd walk. They would burn and itch. My mom bought me some balm to put on before I walk to see if that would help. I liked step aerobics because it seemed dancey in nature. I have another embarrassing admission. Since I was on the dance team in school, I have pretty good rhythm and can catch onto routines easily. Even though I was bigger than many others in class, I could do the routines faster than many. I used to love being in the front of my class and showing my stuff. It made me smile when the instructors would point me out as someone to watch and follow. I'm horrible huh? I had to feel good about myself for something.

What's my point to all of this? There has to be SOMETHING active that each of us like to do and are physically able to do. I started out liking a certain type of exercise, but found as my weight dropped it was easier for me to try new things. I've read many of your blogs and a lot of your enjoy gardening. That's a great. low inpact exercise along with:

*walking

*housework

*swimming

*parking your car as far from a store as possible

*cleaning out your car

*playing with kids/grandkids

*taking a hike

*yoga

*cycling

*lifting light weights

*using the stairs rather than elevator

*dancing (with my kids is the most fun)

Last year when my school year began, I gave up running and pretty much exercising altogether until January. I do NOT and WILL not do that again. Right now, I have decided to train as if I will do the 1/2 marathon on October 12. It can't hurt. I'll still see about the race. I'm following an 8 week beginning training program from Runner's World. So here is how my week has been so far:

MONDAY- Stretched and rode bike pulling my monkeys through strong winds

TUESDAY- 5 min. warm up walking, ran 4 miles doing 7 - 1:00 speed intervals, 5 min cool down

WEDNESDAY- Cleaned classroom

THURSDAY- 5 min. warm up walking, ran 1 mile 4% incline, 1 gentle pickup, 1 mile 1% incline, 1 gentle pickup, 1 mile 4%, gentle pickup, last mile 1%, 5 min. cool down walking

I have to have a goal for myself, otherwise I slack. Another people with goals out there or advice on training for a 1/2 marathon?

Saboteurs

2008-08-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

When I first started my weight loss journey I had a reason, a will, my motivation if you will. People will say to me, "How did you do it? I can't seem to get motivated." My reason is not the typical motivation for most but it worked for me. I wanted to lose weight to have a 2nd child. Getting pregnant with my 1st was EASY. But after I had him, my life got slightly out of hand. When my oldest was 5 months old I had the BRILLIANT idea to get my masters degree. So between having a new baby, working full time, coaching, AND starting my Masters degree, I let my health get completely out of control. I gained 31 lbs. on top of already being overweight. The added weight plus underlying health conditions were making me infertile. My sister-in-law had joined Weight Watchers and found it to be successful (she lost 50 lbs.). I decided to give it a try along with many other people in January (hhmmm I wonder why). The first week I lost weight and that felt empowering. I decided to stick with it. After losing 30 lb. viola...preggers...with twins! Anyway, no one messed with me the first time I was losing weight. They knew I was getting depressed not getting pregnant, so everyone around me just wanted to leave me be since I was starting to get to a happy place again.

After the twins were born and I stopped nursing, I immediately went back to Weight Watchers (they kick you out when you're pregnant). This time when I started to lose weight I starting noticing these people around me. I don't think they meant to do it, but they were doing it. Who are these people you ask?

Saboteurs

They were at my house, at work, and lurking just about every where. The worst for me was my husband. He just didn't get it. He thought maybe I was going through a phase and not serious but whatever he was it was not supportive. He'd say things like, "I'm really hungry, just bring dinner home." "I don't like to eat vegetables." "This dinner tastes funny. I don't like it." "Stop buying me reduced fat mayo. Don't mess with my mayo."

Ok ok who knew? He has gotten better since I've started but it's taken him a LONG time. Some husbands never get better due to an underlying fear of losing their wife. Here's a great article from actual medical professionals about saboteurs.

I also had them at work. My coworkers were great mind you. In fact, I used to be one of the biggest staff members. I work with some very healthy women. Any who, my saboteurs at work were innocent in their intentions and had no idea they were trying to derail me. They were my students and their parents. At least twice a week, they come to me with birthday treats, holiday treats, thank you treats, just because treats, treats, treats, treats. In fact, I had students last year who had for me 2 years. They KNEW I didn't eat sugary crap, but would bring it to me anyway and laugh! I started telling them I appreciate them thinking of me, but please don't bring me chocolate. What did they do anyway?

You get the hint.

So, what did I do to combat these master saboteurs?? Here are a few things:

Use the Internet- At first when my husband asked me to bring home fast food, I had to educate myself on what the more healthier (is that an oxymoron?) options were out there for me. I would always order a salad with grilled chicken and fat free dressing, the grilled chicken sandwich, or a small chili and baked potato. Now when I bring my family fast food, I never order anything for myself. I always have an easy, healthy option for me at home. Normally a baked potato with broccoli and cheese, soup and salad.

Tell people about your LIFE change not diet- People use the word diet and it usually means something temporary or a thing that should be broken. If you talk about how you've changed to a healthy lifestyle, people seem to be more receptive and understanding.

Just smile and say thank you- I work with small children. Many of whom literally get upset if you don't accept their sugary, muffin top (my sweet, darling hubs did not understand what this meant and I finally had to break it down to him last night) creating gift. I finally just smile and say thank you and leave it out of site. When school is out I do the following with it: 1) Give it to my son 2) Try to pass it off to a coworker 3) Give it to my hubs 4) Just throw it away. It's horrible I know and I'm sorry to admit this parents but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Every once in a while, a treat is so overpowering that it's my kryptonite and I do indulge. I'm a big believer in everything in moderation though. Do I think it's healthy to give my son and hubs the treats? Yes as long as it's once it awhile, again moderation.

Bring my own food- Whether it be a party or luncheon I'm invited too, I still get nervous eating other peoples food. I don't know how much butter or what not is in it, so I try to bring my own dish for back up. I have done this at Superbowl parties, friend get togethers etc. If it's a breakfast or lunch that I know in advance is being made for work, I try to not be antisocial. I usually bring my oatmeal or lunch and sit and visit with my coworkers while still eating healthy food. Before, I would completely avoid these functions and eat in my room. That wasn't healthy for me emotionally and I want to enjoy my friends with their conversation. It doesn't matter if I'm not eating what they are it's about being together.

How about all of you? Do or have you encountered these saboteurs and how do you deal with them?

The Word for the Day is: OUCH

2008-08-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

So in my last blog I was talking about my apprehension of taking on a 1/2 marathon so soon after my tummy tuck. Right after I blogged I wondered, "How far can I run without stopping?" So at first my goal was a half an hour (I have been able to run up to an hour straight prior to surgery) and then see how I felt. Then I went for 40 minutes and could keep going. I finally ended up running 5 miles in 50 minutes. This is not my usual pace, but again I got out of shape recovering from surgery. I did have to stop briefly 2 times due to "minor" interruptions (my kids wanted breakfast...the nerve :) ). With warm up and cool down it was a total 5.8 miles and an hour of cardio. Oh, and I did my cool down holding a 30 pound weight by the way :) (His name is Noah and he also had his blankie in his hand. He has issues too).

As if that weren't pushing myself enough, I went to the gym yesterday since my mom was here to watch my double trouble. Lately when I've tried to go to the Y, they have been politely asking me to leave since my boys love me soooo much, they won't stop crying when I leave. So I was so excited to be able to go without the minor interruptions. What's the first thing I went for? The stairmaster (and FYI MizFit, I don't hold the handle grips, I use my arms) that looks like a set of stairs. Again, at first I did 5 min. warm up..then 25 min...then another 25 min...finally a 5 minute cool down walking on it backwards. Then I did 2 sets of the weight machines, arms, legs, and back (can't do crunches yet)! Am I insane? OMG why did I over do it??? I let my ambition/stubbornness get the best of me. Needless to say, I will be doing a LOT of stretching today and perhaps soak in my tub at nap time. I will try to at least walk to loosen up my muscles.

When I talked earlier about being bad about weights, I like to do weights, it's just that I do cardio 1st and then run out of time. Now that I'm not training for a race, I don't think I need to do cardio 5-6 days a week. Or at least, I can shorten a cardio time or 2 to add weights. I get Shape magazine which is great and has great workouts, but can I be frank? They will show a picture A and picture B and give worded directions, but sometimes I still don't get it. I have to watch that exercise be performed in order to do it myself. I think they have demo exercises online that I"ll have to check out. And another shout out to Miz... watching your Monday face time weight demos are good tips too! When people at my work see my arms, they ask me what I did to get them.

As of right now, my workout consisted of lifting 2 30 lb. weights on each arm :).

I will be working on doing actual weights though. Just..not today because...O-U-C-H!!!

Oh, and I'm hurting because due to my competitive nature I was up to 2 am trying to find the answers to MizFit's scavenger hunt! Being up that late, I suddenly was HUNGRY. Not bored, actual hunger pains. I don't think I had enough protein during the day and the result was a food freak out. I don't freak out often, but when I do it's quite impressive. My TOM probably didn't help either, but next time I need to hide my kids' box of Cheez It's is all I can say!

Early Morning Ramblings

2008-08-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

So I went to go to a Friday Weight Watchers meeting, rather than today due to family outings. When I walked in, I was getting "the look" from several ladies. "Hello can I help you? You're a member here?" What look may you be asking? I only know this look because it was the EXACT same look I used to give women 3 years ago. It's the "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SKINNY BITCH DOING AT WEIGHT WATCHERS?!?" You know that look. Do I think I'm a skinny bitch, no, but do I think some are looking at me with disdain in their eyes YES. Even when I go to my regular meetings, I get that look. I finally made a scrapbook page of my before and after pics to bring so that people realize I'm not at Weight Watchers to make people feel bad. I'm there because I need to be there. I was overweight and would like not to go back to that so I go to be kept on track. Why do we women do that? I used to do it when I was bigger and my friends lost weight and now I see my friends doing it to me. It's almost as if we're irritated by someone making a choice to better their life. Why can't we be happy for each other?

Anyway, since weight loss is not so much my goal anymore (except for the 7 lbs. I've gained since my surgery that hasn't gone away) but maintaining my weight is, I need to have a goal in my mind to give myself a Woot Woot since I don't get them at my Weight Watcher meetings anymore. So I was thinking I would train for a 1/2 Marathon. I found one in December in Vegas that I thought would give me enough time to train. After talking to my sister-in-law though (she did Ironman this summer and is AMAZING), she wasn't too happy about that race. She told me about local 1/2's that would be in October. At first I was really excited. I went to several running websites and printed out their training schedules and now I'm freaked out. I think October is realistically too soon for me. I still can't run 5 miles without stopping a few times. I also have to wear my binder still (like a giant ace bandage) around my abs when I run still or I have severe pain. Plus, the school year will start back up soon and I am usually frazzled the first month. So, I'm disappointed in myself that I feel like I'm making excuses, but I'm trying to keep it real. My husband suggests I start really training in January so I don't push myself too much. If I'm going to do a 1/2 I'd have to start training yesterday. *Sigh* So for now, I think I might have the goal of the 100 push up challenge (can't do the ab challenge since I'm not allowed to do them for another month). Anyone else have any other suggestions for me? I'm great at doing cardio with running or dragging my 2 monkeys in the bike trailer, but I'm horrible about weight training.

Issue #2

2008-08-12T12:46:00.001-07:00

I have a membership to a gym. I go to use the equipment in peace and quiet (otherwise I have 2 toddlers bugging me every minute). I don't go as much as I'd like and when I don't go I workout at home on my treadmill, run on local trails, or ride my bike. Now here's my issue. Why is it when the machine asks for my height, weight, and age it seems like it should be somewhat accurate when it reality...it's NOT. When I workout on an elliptical I find I'm hardly winded and I don't sweat. I have to crank the resistance up to almost it's highest level for me to feel anything and when it's like that I feel like I'm trying to walk through quicksand. When I do a half an hour on this type of machine, it says I've burned 500 calories. Now to me, a normal person would think they just burned 500 calories and could go ahead and eat 2 cookies for dessert since they've 'worked it off.' The elliptical I work out on looks similar to this one:

I get similar results when I workout on an Arc Trainer. At least when I exercise on this I feel winded and sweaty. I doubt it's acuracy also since one day it said I burned 1,000 calories in an hour.

The most difficult machine for me is the stair climber. I immediately start sweating and breathing heavily when I'm on this. Yet, in the same half an hour it says I've burned 300 calories. I just dripped sweat all over this machine and that's what I get???

Also at home when I run, I sweat and could not talk to you if I tried. In about a half hour time, I would get maybe 400 caloires calculated on this machine.

Now what's the deal??? Why when I work my butt off the machine shows the lowest calories?!? That's why I don't trust these machines. I use my WW activity points calculator and track my miles. It's just irritating that some people may take those calories on the machines at face value and that may derail their workout progress.

Vacation Goals Reviewed

2008-08-11T16:08:00.000-07:00

First, I want to thank every one for the positive comments and feedback. You all are great and give me such strength and motivation. So I'm back from my trip and did the dreaded walk to my scale. I slowly placed my feet onto the scale, holding onto my windowsill for extra lightness :). I look down...and I'm up 2.6 lbs. Am I upset about this? NO! I'm actually proud, since I usually use my 35 points on the weekends, this is a typical weigh in on a Monday. How do I do on each goal?

*Pack portioned out snacks- Achieved with pretzels, apples, Clif bars, WW string cheese, and granola bars

*Bring own breakfast foods to avoid the continental breakfast waffles and pastries- Basically achieved...I didn't eat any pastries. What I bought for 2 breakfasts were fresh fruit, granola, and yogurt from Whole Foods.

*Walk as many places as possible- Achieved 7.6 miles minimum

*Bring workout clothes and shoes to use the gym at the hotel- Failed..too tired from walking everywhere

*Take advantage of fresh fish in Seattle- Achieved w/ baked Halibut

*Bring my Dining Out Companion book for just in case circumstances- Achieved, didn't have any of the restaurants we went to, but I did bring it

*Enjoy my vacation...not worry totally about food but also not go crazy- Achieved (my husband was relived I wasn't my normal obsessive self)

*Try to feel sexy for myself and my husband- Achieved (See my attempt in the photo)...skinny girls do NOT understand how lucky they are to be able to wear normal underwear. I have worn undies that reach my breasts for the last 7 years! I had a hay day shopping for a different outfit each night from Victoria Secret!

Overall it was a great trip. I believe in everything in moderation. My one regret was drinking a bit too much wine. When I have wine, all of my filters turn off. Especially when it comes to food. The minute I have a drink I want to order and eat EVERYTHING!!! But again, everything in moderation. I'm glad I have realized this about myself.

Going on a Vacation

2008-08-06T12:54:00.001-07:00

So it's going to be my hubby's and my 12th anniversary. We are going to Seattle for a long weekend. Usually when I travel with my husband, he's all about cheap and drive thru's so I need a plan. Hopefully, he'll be a little bit better since he has recently lost about 35 lbs. Here's my plan to stay strong:

*Pack portioned out snacks
*Bring own breakfast foods to avoid the continental breakfast waffles and pastries
*Walk as many places as possible
*Bring workout clothes and shoes to use the gym at the hotel
*Take advantage of fresh fish in Seattle
*Bring my Dining Out Companion book for just in case circumstances
*Enjoy my vacation...not worry totally about food but also not go crazy
*Try to feel sexy for myself and my husband

This should work! Wish me luck!

Perfection is in the Eye of the Beholder

2008-08-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

So some of you might be wondering why I have my issues. "Why is she complaining when she's already lost her weight?" Most people thought when I lost my weight I was "perfect." (as stated in a previous post) Well my friends, I have a secret. You know my after picture on the right. The pink shirt I'm wearing, I used to hide something under there. Here is my disclaimer:

**If you have recently eaten or have a weak stomach, do not read the rest of this post or scroll down. Pictures may be offensive to some, so please beware. Just stop reading and I'll see you another time.**

OK, so for my deep, dark secret. I think some of my mental dysfunction and distorted body image had to do with what I used to hide under that pink shirt. If you wish to know, here it is:

What is that hideous looking thing you ask? That was my stomach up to 6 weeks ago. You might be wondering...OMG is that what my stomach will look like after I get to my goal weight? Not necessarily. And even if it does, I would take my wrinkly, Shar Pei looking belly over all of the ailments I had being obese. Let me list them off:

*Sleep apnea
*Acid reflux
*Bad knees
*Asthma

*Infertility
*Prediabetic

I won't even list off all of the other known health benefits to losing weight. But, I've had people at my Weight Watchers meetings ask me about after losing weight didn't I get loose skin. Almost like they wanted to use that as an excuse to NOT do the program. Let me show you all a new picture that might explain my stomach that didn't necessarily have to do with typical weight loss.

You see, I had twins that were 5 lb. 13 oz. and 6 lb. 5 oz. And they were straight out. So, I mostly blame my darling babies for my belly. So when I used to look down at my body, I would see that skin and think I was still fat. I did make the decision to have a tummy tuck 6 weeks ago. I am very happy with my decision. My husband and I were afraid my brain was going to the bad place (eating disorder) because I thought I was still fat even though I was on the bottom of my weight watcher scale. So as you can see, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. You may not be perfect when you achieve your weight loss goal like myself. But please don't let the idea of maybe having loose skin deter your weight loss efforts. I could hide or get rid of my loose skin. It was hard to hide my 74 pounds of fat! Oh and I forgot, here are my after pictures.

6 weeks after surgery:

As you can see, still not perfect since I have stretch marks on top of stretch marks. Did the surgery hurt? Not that much. I have had 2 previous c-sections which may have helped. Plus, my doc is trying this new electronic patch that you wear to alieveate the muscles spasms. Honestly, the most painful part was my back from sleeping on it and walking hunched over and my tush from sitting on it so much. Even though it's not perfect, I feel SOOOOO much better about myself and not have to tuck it into underwear and my clothes.

PB2 & BBQ

2008-08-01T12:35:00.001-07:00

A few questions about the PB2. It's ground into a powder and then pressed which takes the fat out. You mix 2 tbsp of the PB2 with 1 tbsp water for 1 point. You can do a TON with it.

*Low cal/points PB&J (could be as low as 2 points)

*Sprinkle in with WW Smoothie chocolate smoothie mix for a 2 point chocolate/peanut butter smoothie

*Sprinkle some in with your stir fried veggies for a great peanut sauce

*Some of you mix peanut butter with your steel cut oatmeal, this could be an alternative.

Also, if you don't like all of the sugar in BBQ sauce, as I mentioned in the earlier post, I read a Weight Watcher recipe that simply had you mix 1 cup ketchup with a can of diet cola (I prefer Coke 0). What I do with it:

*Slowly stir 1 can of diet coke into a bowl with a cup of ketchup
*Pour into a saute pan with 4 chicken breasts
*Bring sauce to a boil
*Boil breasts for 10 minutes on each side
*Reduce heat to low and remove chicken breasts
*Use to forks to pull the chicken apart
*Place shredded chicken back into the pan
*Cook on low/med heat for 10 more minutes

You can serve on low cal buns for a nice summer BBQ chicken sandwich. If you don't do bread, I place 4 oz. over a microwaveable baked potato.

Just some things I do. If you haven't been able to tell by now, I'm not a great cook. I need fast, convenient, and healthy.