Still tired but Better

So I figured out why I was so tired. I finally got sick. I was fighting it and fighting it to not get sick before my race, but then I wasn't as vigilant on my Emer-gen-C and whaalaa...sickness. I have to be careful with head colds since I have asthma because it can easily go into my chest. So needless to say I have run TWO count them TWO times in the last 3 weeks. Ackk...I am going to be so out of shape.

Also, I think I've turned into a crazy person. How so you ask? I have conversations with myself and I don't listen to myself. Who does that??? How can I get mad at my husband for not listening to me when I don't even listen to me. Here's an example....Saturday night that Halloween candy had been nagging at me. I said to myself, "Self...just have one Nutragegous since you haven't had one in a very long time. But that's all. Just one piece." So in I popped that Nutrageous. But then I found my body creeping into kitchen and spying into the bucket pulling out a Reese's Stick. I said to myself, "Hey self! What happened to just having one piece?" "Hey, hello??? "Why are you," "eating that????" So then when that piece was finished, I was sneaking into the bucket yet AGAIN. This time, a Heath bar was my victim. Again I said to myself, "Self, you bitch and you moan about the lovely lady lumps that reside on the top of your ass...why are you eating more frickin candy???? Hellooooo hypocrite. What the hell are you doing????" But did I listen to myself? Nope. Nada. Negative. I am proud to say that I have not had this problem with the Halloween candy since. But every once in awhile I have a night like this. Where I argue with myself but still continue to mindlessly eat. Why? Why? Why? I was more strict with myself when I was losing weight than now when I am maintaining. I still see myself losing weight though because I still have 5 presurgery pounds to get rid of. But still. Normally if someone else told me this situation I'd say, "Maybe you're being too restrictive with yourself?" Well with Weight Watchers, we have 35 flex points to use however we wish. I usually use them for a treat or two and for Papa Murphy's Hawaiian DeLite pizza for dinner. But yet, I still have a freak out night every once in awhile. I need to figure out why. Stress? Not enough protein during the day? I'm nuts and like to sabotage myself? Not sure. This is another reason I have issues.

On a COMPLETELY different topic. Can I just say how proud and amazed I am that we may have a black president? I honestly never thought I'd live to see the day to tell you the truth. Being a black female, this has been an historic and truly awe inspiring time to have an African American and a female both in the running. I have seen woman, like Geraldine Ferraro, run before for vice president and be close though. I have NEVER seen an African American be this close. I am very proud this evening.