Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Regrets, I've Had A Few

My hubs and I just had a four day mini vacation away together for our 13th anniversary. It was beautiful and fun but I had a revelation I think. Here I have been on this weight loss journey pretty much for 4 1/2 years (with a pregnancy in there). You would think after all this time I would have truly from my core changed my habits. Eating healthy should come naturally by now don't you think? But alas it has not. The 4 days we were away I was out of control. I ate things I haven't eaten in years. Plus, we went around to about 10 different wineries which did not help either.

When I drink, I let go of everything I know to be good for me. I call myself the "Cookie Monster." Remember how he eats by just shoving cookies into his face. That's how I get when I drink. So this weekend away from my kids the hubs and i were drinking it up. That led to me eating french fries on two different days. I have had fries at a restaurant in years. Then I had a burger. For some reason after a day of drinking wine, my body wanted MEAT. Now I will say, I swear on my life, it was the BEST burger I've ever had in my entire life. It probably had about 1,000 calories though. It has orgonzola cheese (which I had never heard of), some kind of chutney, and bacon on ciabatta bread. I could only eat 1/2 of it at one time, but I saved the rest because it was too good to let go. Let's see what else did I put in my body, a burrito, ice cream, 2 mini desserts (2 because they were in shot glasses so I thought why not but turns out I could only finish 1), a breakfast sandwich from Starbucks, and lots and lots of alcohol!

I think I've fooled myself that I've been getting healthy and not being on a diet. I obviously still have my fat girl mentality. I obvious have been dieting this whole time. Perhaps this is why my weight has crept up 15 pounds. Perhaps this is why I gained 3 1/2 lbs. in 4 days. Perhaps I need to make more changes than I thought I did. I used the excuses, "I'm on vacation," and, "It's my anniversary it's OK." Well maybe for one treat or one meal. Not to indulge in whatever I see for 4 days. That's not OK and I need to be able to choose wisely when I'ts food I have not prepared. I STILL have this issue that I need to work on.

While the hubs and I were away at the lake, we rented a jet ski. I have never been on a jet ski and it was really fun. We rented it for 1/2 a day though and boy did my tush and hips get sore! In fact, my right tush cheek still hurts. It hurt so bad that I could run for more than 5 minutes yesterday without winching. I had to take a ton of Tylenol and stretching before I could finish my 8 miles! It was also talking to me this morning, but not as much as yesterday.

I have a relay race that I volunteered for this weekend. I volunteered to do it without thinking it all the way through. It's a 12 person relay team to run 185 miles in 36 legs. Each leg is from 3-7 miles long. We all take 3 different legs. It starts at 7 am on a Friday. I'm used to racing on Saturdays or Sundays so I had no idea I'd have to find daycare for my boys. Also, I guess I didn't think about that I could be running at ANY time of the day or night. I could have to run at 3 o'clock in the morning. I could have to run when it's 100 degrees! I could have to ride my bike next to someone running in the middle of the night. I only know the captain of my team and I haven't seen her since high school. We ride in two different vans and I'm not even in her van. So I'm going to be in a van off and on for up to 35 hours with total stranger being all stinky and sweaty in front of them.Everyone says, "Oh you'll have so much fun." I even thought it would be fun when I first heard about it. But then when reality set in, it doesn't sound fun at all. I need my sleep! I need to shower! Holy crap this is going to suck! Has anyone out there done one of these races? Any words of wisdom for me? Help!!! I will leave you with a few pics from my anniversary trip.

Sunday- Easy 3.23 miles in 28 minutes
Tuesday- 8 miles, 1 mile warm up, alternating every 1/2 mile running on an incline for hill work, 1 mile cool down
Wednesday- Easy 4 miles in 38:06 + Level 2 Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred

The resort:

My hubs saying my nose got sunburned:

The jet ski:

First dinner out dress

On the beach

At Tunnel Hill Winery
At Tsillan Winery where I tasted the best Reisling I've ever had

Last nights dinner dress:


Jules said...

You look beautiful. :) At least you had a good time and any time learning something about yourself is always a good thing. :)

Anonymous said...

Cute dresses!! Looks like you guys had a great time. Everyone seems to be doing relays this year. Have fun.

Try not to stress too much about this weekend and what you ate. The important thing is to know that every now and then it is ok to let go. You ate and had fun, now you are ready to eat better again.

Melissa said...

You look great!! Don't stress, just dust off and get back on plan. Everyone needs a little cheat every now and then.
I know what you mean about the drinking though. I start drinking and find myself shoveling in pork rinds. WTH!!!

Lyn said...

Chellie, you look absolutely gorgeous! Now, I'm not an expert on "normal person" behavior (obviously) but I have seen my normal sized friends and relatives do what you did: drink, then eat a lot. Drinking gets you to put your walls down. I don't think it means you aren't doing something *right*... I think it just means you ARE normal and when you drink you let go and indulge. Heck even without drinking, a lot of average weight folks indulge like that on special occasions. You didn't go nutso like I have in the past, binge eating for months. So I think you're doing great :)

Katy said...

I missed your post last week. You look amazing! You should come to the Hunter Valley, here in Australia. You'd love the wineries here!

You'll get back on track, but it's good you were able to recognise your slip ups (relatively minor in the scheme of 4.5 years, I'm sure!)