Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Issue #5 Daddy

Holy crap my shoulders are killing me! That's what shoveling snow will do for you. And it's STILL snowing. For many years, I always hoped for a white Christmas, but this is ridiculous. There are many unexpected workouts you can get in the snow though:
  • Pushing your shopping cart to your car.
  • Carrying your bags and child instead of pushing a shopping cart through the snow.
  • Dragging your children in a sled.
  • Climbing a mountain to sled yourself.
  • Pushing your neighbor out of their driveway.
  • Hauling your garbage to where the curb used to be.
  • Climbing a hill to get to your mailbox.
  • Dressing your 3 year old twins for the snow. It takes about 45 minutes!

I feel like I had a successful day despite the snow. Here's a run down of what teachers do on their winter break:

  • Slept in
  • Ran 3.5 miles/climbed 1.5 miles on various inclines on the treadmill
  • Drove to pet store #1 with my twins and mother
  • Went to a gift basket store
  • Drove to pet store #2 (which disappointed me since they were out of crickets which we needed)
  • Fought through crowds at WalMart
  • Fixed myself lunch
  • Made 2 calendars for gifts
  • Cut out, labeled and sorted my kids' school pics
  • Printed pics for picture frames
  • Made and decorated Christmas cookies with my sons
  • Fixed dinner
  • Supervised the building of a gingerbread house
  • Changed diapers...the smelly kind times 2
  • Read books to my boys
  • Tucked them all in (It's like a sleep over every night at our house)
  • Wrapped 6 presents
  • Munched on popcorn and diet cocoa
  • Blogged

I'm trying to keep busy because I'm totally stressing about tomorrow. My father is coming to see us and I have seen or spoken to him in over 2 years. This has been by choice for me. He's coming because my brother is only in town for 2 weeks and then he's going back to where he's stationed in the Army. This is the only reason I agreed to have them over. I want to see my little brother. I am worried though. I have a bottle of wine in my fridge and I'm hoping I don't chug it before 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. Every time I see my dad I'm a mess for days. I cry uncontrollably and wonder why he hates me so much and how we see our past so completely differently. I have daddy issues. That's another one of my issues and it's a doosey. Honestly, you can see in my high school pics of where I was a normally weight, my dad kicked me out of his house, and suddenly BAM fatness struck me. I know that I'm not supposed to suppress all of my feelings into the 2 containers of sugar cookies I just made, but I'm worried I will anyway. I have to figure out a way to let me anger out without adding it to my ass. I think if I plan blog what I'm feeling afterwards tomorrow, maybe I'll channel my anger and get a grip. I have always wanted to write him a letter to tel him how I really feel since I never say anything. I simply avoid. I think my plan to help me tomorrow is to write him the letter I always wanted to here on my blog. He'll never read it, but I hope it will make me feel better. It will be stinky to have such a negative blog on Christmas Eve, but I need to have some productive plan other than drinking my sorrows away. Maybe I should invest in a punching bag too?

5 comments:

carla said...

thinking about you today.

Katschi said...

you are a busy mama!
perhaps you can write the letter anyway. you don't have to actually give it to him but it'll get things off your chest.

D10 said...

Releasing these felling in some way whether talking them out or writing is a great way. You owe it to yourself to get these feelings out. Don't let them drag you down. You have worked too hard.

Thinking about you.

Katschi said...

Hi Chellie!
I hope your day is turning out better than expected! I'm thinking about you today!
Karen
x0x0

N.D. said...

Alll I can say is that we stay busy despite having off!