Negative Nelly Trying to be Postitive

OK I'm motivated by Annette's purely positive attitude. With that in mind, here are positive changes I have made over my weight loss journey:

BEFORE: For dinner, I'd serve Noodle or Rice-a-Roni every night for a side dish

NOW: I serve brown rice or whole grain noodles occasionally for dinner

BEFORE: Ate fast food at least 4 times a week

NOW: Eat out once a week...usually Papa Murphy's Delite Hawaiian style pizza

BEFORE: Never thought about a portion or portion control

NOW: I anally measure out my food with a food scale or measuring cups...including my wine!

BEFORE: Breakfast would be Diet Dr. Pepper or Frappuccino , and pastry

NOW: Lower sugar Quaker oatmeal, Kashi Go Lean Crunch w/ nonfat milk, or on busy days a Clif Bar and fruit

BEFORE: I'd eat about 3-4 cookies for dessert without a second thought

NOW: Dessert can be fruit, yogurt, WW or Skinny Cow Fudgecicle, or sugar free pudding

BEFORE: Off and on exerciser with taking a step aerobics class here or taking walks there

NOW: Unless sick or recovery from surgery, I try to do something active at least 5 times a week

BEFORE: Ate Velveeta mac n cheese like no bodies business, and then the lower fat version came and ate twice as much since it was better for me

NOW: Mac n who?

BEFORE: On busy days, I'd be a Hamburger Helper fool

NOW: You couldn't pay me to eat that stuff

BEFORE: Drank alcohol most weekends

NOW: Occasionally/rarely drink

BEFORE: Never paid attention to food labels

NOW: Takes me twice as long to grocery shop since I'm inspecting every new label I encounter

BEFORE: Fav restaurant order: Denny's Sampler or All American Slam

NOW: Outback Steakhouse's Grill Chicken on the Barbie

BEFORE: Ate at brunch buffets for most holidays and plenty of other Sundays

NOW: We go to the park or do something as a family rather than it being about the food

BEFORE: Ate chips and french fries as if they were a veggie...you know...since they're made from potatoes!

NOW: Very rarely eat either since both are trigger foods for me

BEFORE: Drank anything and everything except water

NOW: Drink at least 64 oz. plus I make sure I drink a water bottle full before I get my next cup of coffee

BEFORE: Maximum amount of workout- walk 4 miles

NOW- Can run up to 7.5 miles

BEFORE: Size 18 clothes, XL -XXL shirts

NOW: Between a 2-4, size xs-s shirts

Reflecting back I am definitely a more healthy person. I am grateful, strangely, for my health scare and infertility because it woke me up to my out of control lifestyle. Making my changes, I now have my crazy, insane, no-fear but totally worth it, twins. And believe me, they help me with having an active lifestyle.

Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone!!!

Back to work is tiring and I haven't even met a student yet!

I've been an exhausted, emotional wreck the last 2 days. Setting up a classroom is hard work. I really hate it when people say to me, "Oh it must be nice to have 3 months off in the summer." Yes it is nice to have consecutive days off. But it's not 3 months, and believe me, I work way above and beyond my 7 hour day. I don't know many other people who stay at their jobs after they are "clocked out." I don't know of many people who take their work home and stay up to finish it and I don't know of many people who go in on their days off (holidays and weekends) to do their work and not get paid. I was at work today from 8:30 am until 8:30 pm. I am WIPED OUT!!!!

Anyway, here's my status: still pissed at my lovely lady lumps but I'll get over it. I never thought I'd see the day where I was pissed that I weight 125. That's the weight I always used to lie and say I was when I was really 140! Ha! I also should be grateful that I actually weigh less now than I did in high school and that I say I weighed on my driver's licence. Come on ladies, am I the only one who ALWAYS lied on my weight for that. I actually weigh less than it says now so I want to get it renewed for the 1st time in my life!

For exercise, I'm .5 miles away from my 100 mile goal for the month.

Wednesday- rest day for running, but did my buns and thighs Pilates video and day 2 of week 1 in the Push Up challenge: 12, 12, 10, 10, 12 plus 2 sets of 12 dips on my stairs

Thursday- Walked for 5 min. 4 rpms on a 4% incline, ran on 4% incline @ 5 rpms 1 mile, another mile on 1% w/ 4 gradual pickups from 6, 6.2, 6.4 then 6.8 rpms, repeat both for a total of 4 miles running, and 5 min. cool down at 4% incline 4 rpms. I felt my chest muscles running this morning from the push ups yesterday.

OK, off to bed for another long day so I don't have to go into work this Labor Day weekend.

Muscles-Better...Attitude-Crapola

My muscles feel much better today and handled running great. Today for my training I ran a 2 mile warm up, did 7 1:00 aerobic sprints which added up to a little over a mile with recovery time, and a 2 mile cool down. I was DRIPPING with sweat and loved it. I know I worked then. I am really glad I rested yesterday.

So as most of you know, due to two very healthy twins and a weight loss, I had a tummy tuck June 23. They removed a pound of skin so naturally, I expected to see myself weighing 1 pound less on the scale. That has NOT EVER HAPPENED. In fact, I have been up roughly 10 lbs. since this surgery. Could I blame it on fluid retention post surgery? Sure. Could I blame it on being on partial bed rest for 6 weeks? Perhaps. But whatever it is I have a frickin muffin top that I haven't had in a year and a half. My frickin jeans are tight and have hang over. What the hell??? Even now, I've been back to working out regularly for 3 weeks and has it showed on the scale? NO!!!! Am I allowing myself to eat more since I'm working out more and maybe that's it? NO!!!! So why is the weight sticking to me? It's pissing me off. I'd kick it's ass if it wasn't planted onto mine! GGrrrrr is about all I can say right now. Guh to the errrrrrrrrrrrrr. What's funny too is that I'm EXHAUSTED tonight and all I did most of the day was sit my ever growing ass and talk or listen to people talk. I'm glad I ran in the AM.

I am glad that I am following a 1/2 marathon training plan so I can feel better about "resting" today. Normally after having a hard workout day, if I'm sore, I would just tell myself to stop being a wimp, suck it up, and workout some more. Seeing scheduled rest days gives me permission to do just that...rest... because my muscles need it. Oh boy are they sore. Right now if my thighs could talk they would say,

"This is bull*%$#,
hell to the no,
oh-no-you-din't!!!"

I did a LOT of stretching today. Also, I kept myself moving most of the day because if I sit for too long and try to walk my legs say, "Think again!" It did have a nice, hot bath in my jacuzzi tub during nap time and that was fab-u-lous! I highly recommend long baths as any kind of reward for oneself. That along with a nice gossip mag and I am set! Tomorrow it's back to training and school for me. Question of the day: What do you do to ease sore muscles?

Weekend Happenings

Friday night I was invited to a coworkers house for a house warming party. There were drinks and appetizers there. I have been doing Weight Watchers since 2005 and I still struggle eating in social situations. Especially if there's alcohol involved. I felt like I did OK with only having 2 glasses of wine, but for some reason the MINUTE I have wine, all of my old eating habits come back. I just want to eat everything!!! Luckily, she had pretty healthy appetizers there: hummus and pita bread, chips and salsa, and fruit and dip. I was stupid to not eat dinner before going over there. Then I had one more drink of a fresh huckleberry martini (never had a martini in my life). It was good but it made me let my guard down some more. The host had left over carrot cake that she got out, set it on the table, and just gave everyone forks (minus the plate). I felt like a Hoover vacuum just sucking up that cake. I could not stop eating it. IT wasn't even real carrot cake but did I care? NO! I haven't had cake in months so I just went c-r-a-z-y!!! Not a wise choice. The one thing I am proud of was I was really needing some real food and passed several fast food restaurants on the way home. In the past, I would have had McDonalds all the way. I resisted the greasy, yet delicious after drinking, temptation. Yeah for me. The sad part is, I probably went to bed around 2 am and my darling duo came to wake me at 6 am. OK, I am not 21 anymore. Having no sleep, not enough nutrition the night before, plus a slight hangover kicked my ass. I was beat up feeling all day. The only productive thing I did Saturday was I did go on a 4 mile run! After that I had to have a 3 hour nap!

Sunday was better. I got a decent amount of sleep which helps tremendously. Then, I went on our local trail system that goes along our river and did my 1st long run for my 1/2 marathon training. It was 7 miles. Boy, I can't believe how fast I got out of shape. I ran a 12K in May in 59 minutes. Today was a bit shorter distance than that and it took me about an hour and 20 minutes. I did not stop once though! I had to keep telling myself that it's just the first week. I can get my speed back throughout this training...I don't have to do it all the 1st week. Then, I got a lot of work down in my classroom. I feel so much better when I am productive. I just feel bad that 2 days I was away from my kiddos a lot. They LOVE their grandma though and she was here all weekend. Ah mommy guilt. I'll save that for my next blog.

Intimidation Anyone?

So as you've been reading, I'm trying to become a runner. I'm still not sure if long distance running will be for me, but I'm willing to try it to see. But I can TOTALLY see how some people don't want to try new things. New things are intimidating. New things to me make me feel stupid. I hate feeling stupid so I usually resort to not trying it rather than looking stupid. Right now I'm reading all of these runners blogs and running sites. They speak in another language that I just don't get. I called my ultra athletic sister-in-law last night for some advice and she made me feel even more overwhelmed. I always thought running was just running but it's NOT apparently. Here are some examples:

Runners usually just use their outer leg muscles and are off balance with their inner leg muscles and so I should do some downhill training or else I can get a knee injury.

Runners do either in-outs or point to points.

Tempo runs

Gentle pick ups

Recovery food

Cross training

Luckily, when I started running I didn't do any research, I just ran. If I would have read all of this 1st, I would have dropped my head in shame and continued working out to my DVD's, at home, in private, where I wouldn't feel incompetent.

Today is a rest day in my training, so I did weights instead. Here's my workout for the morning:
100 push up challenge day 1:
10
10
8
6
10

2 sets of 15 dips on my stairs

Then the following with my 8 lb. weights, 2 sets of each:
squats
lunges
bent over row (thanks to Miz's blooper reel)
overhead press
alternating bicep curls
pull ups
single leg squats (oh this takes some serious balance)

1 set:
plank position tricep kick backs (again thanks Miz for the demo on the vid)
I actually worked up a sweat lifting at home. That may be a first! When you all do weights, do you at it at home or at the gym? How many days a week do you lift?

Getting Stabbed in the Eye with an Ice Pick

That used to be my choice over running. When people would tell me they were running, I'd think to myself, "Are you kidding me? Why? What's the point?" Running and myself were never on the same level. I used to be a very active child. I participated in soccer from grades 3-7 until I developed asthma and it was a struggle me. In jr. high, I was on the drill team and played basketball, volleyball, softball and track. In my 9th grade year, I injured my knee and how to go to physical therapy. In high school, I was on the drill team again so I danced about an hour a day. I LOVE to dance. In another life, I would have loved to learn to dance professionally. Right now, I just get my own grove on. In my senior year, I reinjured my my knee dancing and had to be on crutches for a month and go back to physical therapy. That year of high school, I dropped out of the dance team since they were more into the flags and I wanted to dance to MC Hammer. Not even realizing it, this is when my weight jumped up 20 lbs. It's taken me this long to figure out that my body needs to be active. I was active so long to just drop it was not a good thing.



I have been on this weight loss journey for a long time. I look back over the journals I've kept for the last 10 years. Besides my current weight, the lowest my weight was was 155 on my wedding day. Now a month earlier, I weighed 170. How did I drop the weight so fast? Like many people in the 90's: Phen Fen. I won't EVEN go into how stupid that was and how much it messed up my body. Quick fixes were my thing.



Having previous knee injuries and weighing 191 on this 5'4 frame it was HARD to walk let alone run. But walking and step aerobics is where I started. It's embarrassing to admit it, but my thighs used to chafe when I'd walk. They would burn and itch. My mom bought me some balm to put on before I walk to see if that would help. I liked step aerobics because it seemed dancey in nature. I have another embarrassing admission. Since I was on the dance team in school, I have pretty good rhythm and can catch onto routines easily. Even though I was bigger than many others in class, I could do the routines faster than many. I used to love being in the front of my class and showing my stuff. It made me smile when the instructors would point me out as someone to watch and follow. I'm horrible huh? I had to feel good about myself for something.



What's my point to all of this? There has to be SOMETHING active that each of us like to do and are physically able to do. I started out liking a certain type of exercise, but found as my weight dropped it was easier for me to try new things. I've read many of your blogs and a lot of your enjoy gardening. That's a great. low inpact exercise along with:

*walking

*housework

*swimming

*parking your car as far from a store as possible

*cleaning out your car

*playing with kids/grandkids

*taking a hike

*yoga

*cycling

*lifting light weights

*using the stairs rather than elevator

*dancing (with my kids is the most fun)

Last year when my school year began, I gave up running and pretty much exercising altogether until January. I do NOT and WILL not do that again. Right now, I have decided to train as if I will do the 1/2 marathon on October 12. It can't hurt. I'll still see about the race. I'm following an 8 week beginning training program from Runner's World. So here is how my week has been so far:

MONDAY- Stretched and rode bike pulling my monkeys through strong winds

TUESDAY- 5 min. warm up walking, ran 4 miles doing 7 - 1:00 speed intervals, 5 min cool down

WEDNESDAY- Cleaned classroom

THURSDAY- 5 min. warm up walking, ran 1 mile 4% incline, 1 gentle pickup, 1 mile 1% incline, 1 gentle pickup, 1 mile 4%, gentle pickup, last mile 1%, 5 min. cool down walking

I have to have a goal for myself, otherwise I slack. Another people with goals out there or advice on training for a 1/2 marathon?

Saboteurs

When I first started my weight loss journey I had a reason, a will, my motivation if you will. People will say to me, "How did you do it? I can't seem to get motivated." My reason is not the typical motivation for most but it worked for me. I wanted to lose weight to have a 2nd child. Getting pregnant with my 1st was EASY. But after I had him, my life got slightly out of hand. When my oldest was 5 months old I had the BRILLIANT idea to get my masters degree. So between having a new baby, working full time, coaching, AND starting my Masters degree, I let my health get completely out of control. I gained 31 lbs. on top of already being overweight. The added weight plus underlying health conditions were making me infertile. My sister-in-law had joined Weight Watchers and found it to be successful (she lost 50 lbs.). I decided to give it a try along with many other people in January (hhmmm I wonder why). The first week I lost weight and that felt empowering. I decided to stick with it. After losing 30 lb. viola...preggers...with twins! Anyway, no one messed with me the first time I was losing weight. They knew I was getting depressed not getting pregnant, so everyone around me just wanted to leave me be since I was starting to get to a happy place again.

After the twins were born and I stopped nursing, I immediately went back to Weight Watchers (they kick you out when you're pregnant). This time when I started to lose weight I starting noticing these people around me. I don't think they meant to do it, but they were doing it. Who are these people you ask?

Saboteurs

They were at my house, at work, and lurking just about every where. The worst for me was my husband. He just didn't get it. He thought maybe I was going through a phase and not serious but whatever he was it was not supportive. He'd say things like, "I'm really hungry, just bring dinner home." "I don't like to eat vegetables." "This dinner tastes funny. I don't like it." "Stop buying me reduced fat mayo. Don't mess with my mayo."

Ok ok who knew? He has gotten better since I've started but it's taken him a LONG time. Some husbands never get better due to an underlying fear of losing their wife. Here's a great article from actual medical professionals about saboteurs.

I also had them at work. My coworkers were great mind you. In fact, I used to be one of the biggest staff members. I work with some very healthy women. Any who, my saboteurs at work were innocent in their intentions and had no idea they were trying to derail me. They were my students and their parents. At least twice a week, they come to me with birthday treats, holiday treats, thank you treats, just because treats, treats, treats, treats. In fact, I had students last year who had for me 2 years. They KNEW I didn't eat sugary crap, but would bring it to me anyway and laugh! I started telling them I appreciate them thinking of me, but please don't bring me chocolate. What did they do anyway?

You get the hint.

So, what did I do to combat these master saboteurs?? Here are a few things:

• Use the Internet- At first when my husband asked me to bring home fast food, I had to educate myself on what the more healthier (is that an oxymoron?) options were out there for me. I would always order a salad with grilled chicken and fat free dressing, the grilled chicken sandwich, or a small chili and baked potato. Now when I bring my family fast food, I never order anything for myself. I always have an easy, healthy option for me at home. Normally a baked potato with broccoli and cheese, soup and salad.



• Tell people about your LIFE change not diet- People use the word diet and it usually means something temporary or a thing that should be broken. If you talk about how you've changed to a healthy lifestyle, people seem to be more receptive and understanding.


• Just smile and say thank you- I work with small children. Many of whom literally get upset if you don't accept their sugary, muffin top (my sweet, darling hubs did not understand what this meant and I finally had to break it down to him last night) creating gift. I finally just smile and say thank you and leave it out of site. When school is out I do the following with it: 1) Give it to my son 2) Try to pass it off to a coworker 3) Give it to my hubs 4) Just throw it away. It's horrible I know and I'm sorry to admit this parents but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Every once in a while, a treat is so overpowering that it's my kryptonite and I do indulge. I'm a big believer in everything in moderation though. Do I think it's healthy to give my son and hubs the treats? Yes as long as it's once it awhile, again moderation.



• Bring my own food- Whether it be a party or luncheon I'm invited too, I still get nervous eating other peoples food. I don't know how much butter or what not is in it, so I try to bring my own dish for back up. I have done this at Superbowl parties, friend get togethers etc. If it's a breakfast or lunch that I know in advance is being made for work, I try to not be antisocial. I usually bring my oatmeal or lunch and sit and visit with my coworkers while still eating healthy food. Before, I would completely avoid these functions and eat in my room. That wasn't healthy for me emotionally and I want to enjoy my friends with their conversation. It doesn't matter if I'm not eating what they are it's about being together.

How about all of you? Do or have you encountered these saboteurs and how do you deal with them?

The Word for the Day is: OUCH

So in my last blog I was talking about my apprehension of taking on a 1/2 marathon so soon after my tummy tuck. Right after I blogged I wondered, "How far can I run without stopping?" So at first my goal was a half an hour (I have been able to run up to an hour straight prior to surgery) and then see how I felt. Then I went for 40 minutes and could keep going. I finally ended up running 5 miles in 50 minutes. This is not my usual pace, but again I got out of shape recovering from surgery. I did have to stop briefly 2 times due to "minor" interruptions (my kids wanted breakfast...the nerve :) ). With warm up and cool down it was a total 5.8 miles and an hour of cardio. Oh, and I did my cool down holding a 30 pound weight by the way :) (His name is Noah and he also had his blankie in his hand. He has issues too).

As if that weren't pushing myself enough, I went to the gym yesterday since my mom was here to watch my double trouble. Lately when I've tried to go to the Y, they have been politely asking me to leave since my boys love me soooo much, they won't stop crying when I leave. So I was so excited to be able to go without the minor interruptions. What's the first thing I went for? The stairmaster (and FYI MizFit, I don't hold the handle grips, I use my arms) that looks like a set of stairs. Again, at first I did 5 min. warm up..then 25 min...then another 25 min...finally a 5 minute cool down walking on it backwards. Then I did 2 sets of the weight machines, arms, legs, and back (can't do crunches yet)! Am I insane? OMG why did I over do it??? I let my ambition/stubbornness get the best of me. Needless to say, I will be doing a LOT of stretching today and perhaps soak in my tub at nap time. I will try to at least walk to loosen up my muscles.

When I talked earlier about being bad about weights, I like to do weights, it's just that I do cardio 1st and then run out of time. Now that I'm not training for a race, I don't think I need to do cardio 5-6 days a week. Or at least, I can shorten a cardio time or 2 to add weights. I get Shape magazine which is great and has great workouts, but can I be frank? They will show a picture A and picture B and give worded directions, but sometimes I still don't get it. I have to watch that exercise be performed in order to do it myself. I think they have demo exercises online that I"ll have to check out. And another shout out to Miz... watching your Monday face time weight demos are good tips too! When people at my work see my arms, they ask me what I did to get them.

As of right now, my workout consisted of lifting 2 30 lb. weights on each arm :).

I will be working on doing actual weights though. Just..not today because...O-U-C-H!!!

Oh, and I'm hurting because due to my competitive nature I was up to 2 am trying to find the answers to MizFit's scavenger hunt! Being up that late, I suddenly was HUNGRY. Not bored, actual hunger pains. I don't think I had enough protein during the day and the result was a food freak out. I don't freak out often, but when I do it's quite impressive. My TOM probably didn't help either, but next time I need to hide my kids' box of Cheez It's is all I can say!

Early Morning Ramblings

So I went to go to a Friday Weight Watchers meeting, rather than today due to family outings. When I walked in, I was getting "the look" from several ladies. "Hello can I help you? You're a member here?" What look may you be asking? I only know this look because it was the EXACT same look I used to give women 3 years ago. It's the "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SKINNY BITCH DOING AT WEIGHT WATCHERS?!?" You know that look. Do I think I'm a skinny bitch, no, but do I think some are looking at me with disdain in their eyes YES. Even when I go to my regular meetings, I get that look. I finally made a scrapbook page of my before and after pics to bring so that people realize I'm not at Weight Watchers to make people feel bad. I'm there because I need to be there. I was overweight and would like not to go back to that so I go to be kept on track. Why do we women do that? I used to do it when I was bigger and my friends lost weight and now I see my friends doing it to me. It's almost as if we're irritated by someone making a choice to better their life. Why can't we be happy for each other?

Anyway, since weight loss is not so much my goal anymore (except for the 7 lbs. I've gained since my surgery that hasn't gone away) but maintaining my weight is, I need to have a goal in my mind to give myself a Woot Woot since I don't get them at my Weight Watcher meetings anymore. So I was thinking I would train for a 1/2 Marathon. I found one in December in Vegas that I thought would give me enough time to train. After talking to my sister-in-law though (she did Ironman this summer and is AMAZING), she wasn't too happy about that race. She told me about local 1/2's that would be in October. At first I was really excited. I went to several running websites and printed out their training schedules and now I'm freaked out. I think October is realistically too soon for me. I still can't run 5 miles without stopping a few times. I also have to wear my binder still (like a giant ace bandage) around my abs when I run still or I have severe pain. Plus, the school year will start back up soon and I am usually frazzled the first month. So, I'm disappointed in myself that I feel like I'm making excuses, but I'm trying to keep it real. My husband suggests I start really training in January so I don't push myself too much. If I'm going to do a 1/2 I'd have to start training yesterday. *Sigh* So for now, I think I might have the goal of the 100 push up challenge (can't do the ab challenge since I'm not allowed to do them for another month). Anyone else have any other suggestions for me? I'm great at doing cardio with running or dragging my 2 monkeys in the bike trailer, but I'm horrible about weight training.

Issue #2

I have a membership to a gym. I go to use the equipment in peace and quiet (otherwise I have 2 toddlers bugging me every minute). I don't go as much as I'd like and when I don't go I workout at home on my treadmill, run on local trails, or ride my bike. Now here's my issue. Why is it when the machine asks for my height, weight, and age it seems like it should be somewhat accurate when it reality...it's NOT. When I workout on an elliptical I find I'm hardly winded and I don't sweat. I have to crank the resistance up to almost it's highest level for me to feel anything and when it's like that I feel like I'm trying to walk through quicksand. When I do a half an hour on this type of machine, it says I've burned 500 calories. Now to me, a normal person would think they just burned 500 calories and could go ahead and eat 2 cookies for dessert since they've 'worked it off.' The elliptical I work out on looks similar to this one:

I get similar results when I workout on an Arc Trainer. At least when I exercise on this I feel winded and sweaty. I doubt it's acuracy also since one day it said I burned 1,000 calories in an hour.

The most difficult machine for me is the stair climber. I immediately start sweating and breathing heavily when I'm on this. Yet, in the same half an hour it says I've burned 300 calories. I just dripped sweat all over this machine and that's what I get???

Also at home when I run, I sweat and could not talk to you if I tried. In about a half hour time, I would get maybe 400 caloires calculated on this machine.

Now what's the deal??? Why when I work my butt off the machine shows the lowest calories?!? That's why I don't trust these machines. I use my WW activity points calculator and track my miles. It's just irritating that some people may take those calories on the machines at face value and that may derail their workout progress.

Vacation Goals Reviewed

First, I want to thank every one for the positive comments and feedback. You all are great and give me such strength and motivation. So I'm back from my trip and did the dreaded walk to my scale. I slowly placed my feet onto the scale, holding onto my windowsill for extra lightness :). I look down...and I'm up 2.6 lbs. Am I upset about this? NO! I'm actually proud, since I usually use my 35 points on the weekends, this is a typical weigh in on a Monday. How do I do on each goal?

*Pack portioned out snacks- Achieved with pretzels, apples, Clif bars, WW string cheese, and granola bars

*Bring own breakfast foods to avoid the continental breakfast waffles and pastries- Basically achieved...I didn't eat any pastries. What I bought for 2 breakfasts were fresh fruit, granola, and yogurt from Whole Foods.

*Walk as many places as possible- Achieved 7.6 miles minimum

*Bring workout clothes and shoes to use the gym at the hotel- Failed..too tired from walking everywhere

*Take advantage of fresh fish in Seattle- Achieved w/ baked Halibut

*Bring my Dining Out Companion book for just in case circumstances- Achieved, didn't have any of the restaurants we went to, but I did bring it

*Enjoy my vacation...not worry totally about food but also not go crazy- Achieved (my husband was relived I wasn't my normal obsessive self)

*Try to feel sexy for myself and my husband- Achieved (See my attempt in the photo)...skinny girls do NOT understand how lucky they are to be able to wear normal underwear. I have worn undies that reach my breasts for the last 7 years! I had a hay day shopping for a different outfit each night from Victoria Secret!

Overall it was a great trip. I believe in everything in moderation. My one regret was drinking a bit too much wine. When I have wine, all of my filters turn off. Especially when it comes to food. The minute I have a drink I want to order and eat EVERYTHING!!! But again, everything in moderation. I'm glad I have realized this about myself.

Going on a Vacation

So it's going to be my hubby's and my 12th anniversary. We are going to Seattle for a long weekend. Usually when I travel with my husband, he's all about cheap and drive thru's so I need a plan. Hopefully, he'll be a little bit better since he has recently lost about 35 lbs. Here's my plan to stay strong:

*Pack portioned out snacks
*Bring own breakfast foods to avoid the continental breakfast waffles and pastries
*Walk as many places as possible
*Bring workout clothes and shoes to use the gym at the hotel
*Take advantage of fresh fish in Seattle
*Bring my Dining Out Companion book for just in case circumstances
*Enjoy my vacation...not worry totally about food but also not go crazy
*Try to feel sexy for myself and my husband

This should work! Wish me luck!

Perfection is in the Eye of the Beholder

So some of you might be wondering why I have my issues. "Why is she complaining when she's already lost her weight?" Most people thought when I lost my weight I was "perfect." (as stated in a previous post) Well my friends, I have a secret. You know my after picture on the right. The pink shirt I'm wearing, I used to hide something under there. Here is my disclaimer:

**If you have recently eaten or have a weak stomach, do not read the rest of this post or scroll down. Pictures may be offensive to some, so please beware. Just stop reading and I'll see you another time.**

OK, so for my deep, dark secret. I think some of my mental dysfunction and distorted body image had to do with what I used to hide under that pink shirt. If you wish to know, here it is:

What is that hideous looking thing you ask? That was my stomach up to 6 weeks ago. You might be wondering...OMG is that what my stomach will look like after I get to my goal weight? Not necessarily. And even if it does, I would take my wrinkly, Shar Pei looking belly over all of the ailments I had being obese. Let me list them off:

*Sleep apnea
*Acid reflux
*Bad knees
*Asthma

*Infertility
*Prediabetic

I won't even list off all of the other known health benefits to losing weight. But, I've had people at my Weight Watchers meetings ask me about after losing weight didn't I get loose skin. Almost like they wanted to use that as an excuse to NOT do the program. Let me show you all a new picture that might explain my stomach that didn't necessarily have to do with typical weight loss.

You see, I had twins that were 5 lb. 13 oz. and 6 lb. 5 oz. And they were straight out. So, I mostly blame my darling babies for my belly. So when I used to look down at my body, I would see that skin and think I was still fat. I did make the decision to have a tummy tuck 6 weeks ago. I am very happy with my decision. My husband and I were afraid my brain was going to the bad place (eating disorder) because I thought I was still fat even though I was on the bottom of my weight watcher scale. So as you can see, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. You may not be perfect when you achieve your weight loss goal like myself. But please don't let the idea of maybe having loose skin deter your weight loss efforts. I could hide or get rid of my loose skin. It was hard to hide my 74 pounds of fat! Oh and I forgot, here are my after pictures.

6 weeks after surgery:

As you can see, still not perfect since I have stretch marks on top of stretch marks. Did the surgery hurt? Not that much. I have had 2 previous c-sections which may have helped. Plus, my doc is trying this new electronic patch that you wear to alieveate the muscles spasms. Honestly, the most painful part was my back from sleeping on it and walking hunched over and my tush from sitting on it so much. Even though it's not perfect, I feel SOOOOO much better about myself and not have to tuck it into underwear and my clothes.

PB2 & BBQ

A few questions about the PB2. It's ground into a powder and then pressed which takes the fat out. You mix 2 tbsp of the PB2 with 1 tbsp water for 1 point. You can do a TON with it.

*Low cal/points PB&J (could be as low as 2 points)

*Sprinkle in with WW Smoothie chocolate smoothie mix for a 2 point chocolate/peanut butter smoothie

*Sprinkle some in with your stir fried veggies for a great peanut sauce

*Some of you mix peanut butter with your steel cut oatmeal, this could be an alternative.

Also, if you don't like all of the sugar in BBQ sauce, as I mentioned in the earlier post, I read a Weight Watcher recipe that simply had you mix 1 cup ketchup with a can of diet cola (I prefer Coke 0). What I do with it:

*Slowly stir 1 can of diet coke into a bowl with a cup of ketchup
*Pour into a saute pan with 4 chicken breasts
*Bring sauce to a boil
*Boil breasts for 10 minutes on each side
*Reduce heat to low and remove chicken breasts
*Use to forks to pull the chicken apart
*Place shredded chicken back into the pan
*Cook on low/med heat for 10 more minutes

You can serve on low cal buns for a nice summer BBQ chicken sandwich. If you don't do bread, I place 4 oz. over a microwaveable baked potato.

Just some things I do. If you haven't been able to tell by now, I'm not a great cook. I need fast, convenient, and healthy.