Perfection is in the Eye of the Beholder

So some of you might be wondering why I have my issues. "Why is she complaining when she's already lost her weight?" Most people thought when I lost my weight I was "perfect." (as stated in a previous post) Well my friends, I have a secret. You know my after picture on the right. The pink shirt I'm wearing, I used to hide something under there. Here is my disclaimer:

**If you have recently eaten or have a weak stomach, do not read the rest of this post or scroll down. Pictures may be offensive to some, so please beware. Just stop reading and I'll see you another time.**

OK, so for my deep, dark secret. I think some of my mental dysfunction and distorted body image had to do with what I used to hide under that pink shirt. If you wish to know, here it is:

What is that hideous looking thing you ask? That was my stomach up to 6 weeks ago. You might be wondering...OMG is that what my stomach will look like after I get to my goal weight? Not necessarily. And even if it does, I would take my wrinkly, Shar Pei looking belly over all of the ailments I had being obese. Let me list them off:

*Sleep apnea
*Acid reflux
*Bad knees
*Asthma

*Infertility
*Prediabetic

I won't even list off all of the other known health benefits to losing weight. But, I've had people at my Weight Watchers meetings ask me about after losing weight didn't I get loose skin. Almost like they wanted to use that as an excuse to NOT do the program. Let me show you all a new picture that might explain my stomach that didn't necessarily have to do with typical weight loss.

You see, I had twins that were 5 lb. 13 oz. and 6 lb. 5 oz. And they were straight out. So, I mostly blame my darling babies for my belly. So when I used to look down at my body, I would see that skin and think I was still fat. I did make the decision to have a tummy tuck 6 weeks ago. I am very happy with my decision. My husband and I were afraid my brain was going to the bad place (eating disorder) because I thought I was still fat even though I was on the bottom of my weight watcher scale. So as you can see, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. You may not be perfect when you achieve your weight loss goal like myself. But please don't let the idea of maybe having loose skin deter your weight loss efforts. I could hide or get rid of my loose skin. It was hard to hide my 74 pounds of fat! Oh and I forgot, here are my after pictures.

6 weeks after surgery:

As you can see, still not perfect since I have stretch marks on top of stretch marks. Did the surgery hurt? Not that much. I have had 2 previous c-sections which may have helped. Plus, my doc is trying this new electronic patch that you wear to alieveate the muscles spasms. Honestly, the most painful part was my back from sleeping on it and walking hunched over and my tush from sitting on it so much. Even though it's not perfect, I feel SOOOOO much better about myself and not have to tuck it into underwear and my clothes.