Pre New Years Eve Goals and Resolutions

I know everyone is reflecting back on their year and what it meant to them. I am truly grateful for the year I had. Not that it was anything earth shattering. I have my family. We all have our health. My husband and I are still employed. I have love. What else can I ask for?

Every time I complain or look begrudgingly at my stomach with its vast stretchmarks and still loose skin (even after a tummy tuck), I need you to slap me. That's right let me have it. Why??? Because as a fellow WW member said to me in a meeting one time, "They are the marks of love. You worked so hard to have those babies. They are a blessing. And so are your stretchmarks." Now I would NEVER call my stretchmarks a blessing, but I would of my boys. And I did struggle to have them. I am lucky to have them, even when they're trying to climb up my arm, even when they tell me they want 'up' for the thousandth time in the day, even when they interrupt me on my treadmill, and even when they wake me up at an ungodly hour. I am lucky because they call me mommy, lucky that they tell me they love me more than once every day, lucky for our snuggles and rubbing noses, lucky I get to read books with them every night, and lucky that they make me smile. Wow, I am actually getting choked up writing this. Gosh I'm a sap. Anyhoo, in no particular order, these are the things I WILL work on to be a better person, mother, and wife this next year:

• Take a deep breath before losing my cool
• Do weights/toning exercises at least 3 times a week...your cottage cheese ass will thank you
• Continue running
• Do as many local races as possible including a 5K, 10K, 12K and one more half marathon
• Write a letter your dad, even if you never mail it
• Initiate boot knockin' with the hubs at least twice a month...he needs to feel wanted too!!!
• Stop staying at work past 5 o'clock...the work will NEVER be done... so get over yourself
• Lose the 10 lbs. you've gained since May
• Stop pretending that your children make you late all of the time...you're late even when by yourself!!!
• Ask others about their life...not everything is about you semi-only child!!!
• Fix your sagging tribal boobs...the hubs will thank you
• Learn to meditate...seriously...you must do something before you get an ulcer
• Be present at least with your children

**I forgot at least two more thins to work on for the New Year. The first being a decadence list that I learned about from the all powerful Miz. It's a list of things that feel good that you can turn to rather than food when upset or stressed. I started making my list in my head in my shower yesterday. Number 1 on the list, take a shower until the hot water runs out. I know it's not very green of me, but it feels soooooooo good and it's free. Also, I want to find a food table like the great Roni has since I have been a slacker at writing down my points. I know it works in weight loss, but I just haven't been doing it. ** editions

Happy New Years to all of you!

Todays workout:

• 5 min warmup
• Alternating walking and side steppin on the treadmill at various inclines
• Hill climb 20 minutes
• Cool down 5 minutes
• 50 minutes of yoga and strength training using my Wii Fit

Darn You Wii

OK I have been sore every day since I got my new Wii Fit. Are you kidding me? I thought I was in decent shape and this thing is kickin my butt! What I love about it is that it shows you demos of each exercise. Also, it will critique your form...how it know is a mystery. But you can redo it until you have it right. Plus, when you work out enough on it, it will increase the reps or give you a new exercise to try. It only starts out with a few. I can see why...so people like me don't go crazy and paralyze themselves. Yesterday, the hubs and I did balance training. I SUCK on my left side! It's really weird. The hubs is the opposite. We also tried the Yoga. OMG that is no joke. There were only 4 poses and they looked so easy. Not even close!

We did The Warrior pose,

the Tree (which I am HORRIBLE at),

the half moon,

and sun salutation. If it's a 2 footed exercise, I rock it. If it's anything on 1 foot..like the tree...forget about it!!! Then we did another set of the strength training section. The hardest move here is the pushup/plank.

Acck. I shake like I'm looking for a tip. My hubs and I had to take turns stretching each other out.

Also, I'm not the greatest cook, but I have been trying to find healthier variations to foods we love. I made my own version of a mushroom swiss burger, chicken cordon blue, and last night I tackled lasagna. I don't know how to calculate the points since I made it from a recipe but modified it. I used whole wheat noodles, extra lean ground turkey breast, low fat ricotta and mozzarella cheese, and no sugar added Ragu spaghetti sauce. I served it with whole wheat french bread with spray butter garlic salt and garlic powder. Now I believe that I am married to THE finickiest man in the world. He only eats 3 veggies (and I really don't even consider corn or potatoes real veggies). The hubs LOVED it and said he could eat it all day, every day. Success!

Today I'm trying to organize the house after the whirlwind holiday. First, I had our car dropped off to get the windows tinted as a present for the hubs. Then I did interval training on the treadmill + 15 of hill climbing for an hour total. Then, lunch for 4 boys, dishes, sorting through new clothes while removing too small clothes in kids closet, and finally lunch for me while blogging! Now I'm off to see if I can find our kitchen table!

New Toys!!!

So on my last post you saw I have daddy issues. Well, luckily for me (disappointing for my kids), he was a usual no show. He had all kinds of excuses and played the victim. Do you guys have anyone in your life that has the personality that you can't reason with them because they some how distort their reality and they can't even fathom your point of view? My dad, and a few other family members, don't see reason, they don't see facts, they see only what they want to see. It's frustrating. Anyway, I escaped that meeting but still was so stressed that I drank on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Doing so, I became the statistic and gained my 2 lbs. In 2 days. Ever see the Tazmanian Devil on Bugs Bunny? That is me after I drink alcohol. Any food that I normally wouldn't touch, I eat it, devour it, destroy it. At a rapid pace as if there is no tomorrow.

So to combat this, I got a few new toys for Christmas. First, I got a Garmin 205. This thing is HUGE. I mean, it's as thick as my wrist and wider than it. It's heavy. I have dainty wrists and usually don't wear anything on them because it will fall off. So wearing this thing will be a challenge! My husband suggested I get old school wrist bands to put under it so it doesn't hurt so much. We'll see!

My second cool new toy is a Wii Fit package and a Wii Balance Board. The hubs and I LOVE this!!! You can stand on it and it will give you your weight and BMI. Then, you go through some exercises and it calculates your Wii Fit age. On wine, I was exactly my age. While sober, my Wii Fit age was 44 (I'm 35 btw)! WTF??? Anyway, you can make weight and fitness goals for yourself and it has a variety of balancing and strength training exercises. We're already sore just from doing 1 set of 5 moves yesterday! We're really excited for the Yoga portion of the game. I have a complex (from being pointed out in a class) about doing Yoga in a class, so I'm hoping I can learn some yoga moves in the privacy of my own home. Also, my son got a Raving Rabbits game that also has activities to do on the balance board like skiing. Works your core and it's so fun!!!

Another toy I got were YakTraks for running in the snow. I tried out a friends and really liked them so my mom got me some along with a gift certificate to REI. The hubs and I went shopping yesterday and I got a new pair of gloves, a coat, and pants to run in the rain and snow. Completely off the subject, they had some Iced Gingerbread Clif Bars there. They are to DIE for!!! I wish I would have known I'd like them so much or I would have gotten more than one.

So today, it took me a really long time but here's what I did to prep for my big run in the snow:

• tank top


• long sleeve under armour shirt


• terry cloth sweatshirt
  
• new coat that's water and wind resistant


• wool socks


• yoga pants


• outdoor training pants


• head and face mask


• i-pod shuffle


• shoes


• yak traks


• gloves
  
• new Garmin (which I prayed was water resistant or I'm in trouble)

I was off. It snowed AGAIN last night, but our temp is warming up. So instead of the light fluffy snow we had before, it's now wet and heavy snow. The kind you slide around in when you try to walk. But I was determined to try it. My YakTraks said they are for walking. There is a Pro kind that said for running, so I'm not sure if I should exchange them or not. I was able to run well on the street where the plows and pavers had been. I struggled severely where it was thicker, wetter, mushier snow. Not usre if anything can help that! After about 2.5 miles, I had to ditch the gloves and terry cloth sweatshirt because I got hot fast! It was H-A-R-D to run in the snow but so fun and refreshing. I ran 4 .5 miles in 47 minutes. Any runners out there know how to post their Garmin results on their blog? I see Nike + folks be able to do it, so I wasn't sure if the Garmin can too. Anyway, it was great and I was back down 2 lbs. this morning. Two down and 8 more to go to get back down to my lowest weight. I will leave you with this pic of me in all of my gear!

Issue #5 Daddy

Holy crap my shoulders are killing me! That's what shoveling snow will do for you. And it's STILL snowing. For many years, I always hoped for a white Christmas, but this is ridiculous. There are many unexpected workouts you can get in the snow though:

• Pushing your shopping cart to your car.
• Carrying your bags and child instead of pushing a shopping cart through the snow.
• Dragging your children in a sled.
• Climbing a mountain to sled yourself.
• Pushing your neighbor out of their driveway.
• Hauling your garbage to where the curb used to be.
• Climbing a hill to get to your mailbox.
• Dressing your 3 year old twins for the snow. It takes about 45 minutes!

I feel like I had a successful day despite the snow. Here's a run down of what teachers do on their winter break:

• Slept in
• Ran 3.5 miles/climbed 1.5 miles on various inclines on the treadmill
• Drove to pet store #1 with my twins and mother
• Went to a gift basket store
• Drove to pet store #2 (which disappointed me since they were out of crickets which we needed)
• Fought through crowds at WalMart
• Fixed myself lunch
• Made 2 calendars for gifts
• Cut out, labeled and sorted my kids' school pics
• Printed pics for picture frames
• Made and decorated Christmas cookies with my sons
• Fixed dinner
• Supervised the building of a gingerbread house
• Changed diapers...the smelly kind times 2
• Read books to my boys
• Tucked them all in (It's like a sleep over every night at our house)
• Wrapped 6 presents
• Munched on popcorn and diet cocoa
• Blogged

I'm trying to keep busy because I'm totally stressing about tomorrow. My father is coming to see us and I have seen or spoken to him in over 2 years. This has been by choice for me. He's coming because my brother is only in town for 2 weeks and then he's going back to where he's stationed in the Army. This is the only reason I agreed to have them over. I want to see my little brother. I am worried though. I have a bottle of wine in my fridge and I'm hoping I don't chug it before 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. Every time I see my dad I'm a mess for days. I cry uncontrollably and wonder why he hates me so much and how we see our past so completely differently. I have daddy issues. That's another one of my issues and it's a doosey. Honestly, you can see in my high school pics of where I was a normally weight, my dad kicked me out of his house, and suddenly BAM fatness struck me. I know that I'm not supposed to suppress all of my feelings into the 2 containers of sugar cookies I just made, but I'm worried I will anyway. I have to figure out a way to let me anger out without adding it to my ass. I think if I plan blog what I'm feeling afterwards tomorrow, maybe I'll channel my anger and get a grip. I have always wanted to write him a letter to tel him how I really feel since I never say anything. I simply avoid. I think my plan to help me tomorrow is to write him the letter I always wanted to here on my blog. He'll never read it, but I hope it will make me feel better. It will be stinky to have such a negative blog on Christmas Eve, but I need to have some productive plan other than drinking my sorrows away. Maybe I should invest in a punching bag too?

Taking the Bull by the Horns

Where I live, we've gotten hit with over 3 feet of snow in 6 days. Before the snow, it was frigidly cold temps. Like a high of 3 degrees one day plus the wind blowing making it feel like -6 out. We had two school closure days so we started our winter break early. It was really fun for the kids the first couple of days, but now it's just ridiculous. It's really light snow called champagne snow so you can't even make a decent snowman with it. If my 3 year olds tried to go into my backyard I'd never seen them again. Where the snow was drifting, it's even over my 7 year old's head. I got out of shoveling until now because my husband did it or I paid a teenager to do it for me. Today was finally my day. I had my running clothes on and warmed up on my treadmill. But then, my hubs who was home sick today, needed me to venture out in the snow for cold medicine. Therefore, I bundled up with my snow pants, wool socks, 2 pairs of gloves, boots, down jacket and i-pod to do my shoveling workout. I was sweating very quickly. I'm glad this was 'light' snow since right when I heard out the plows came by and added another two feet of snow into our driveway. Ugghh. I was OK with it though since I had finally run for 5 days last week. Even though I love to run, I am not ones of these runners I read about who freak out it they can't run. I don't wake up each morning and say, "Yeah a day to go running." Not quite. But I do like the health benefits, how it makes me feel and sweat, and how I get a good workout in a shorter amount of time. I keep thinking that I will develop this true love affair with running, but I am not there yet.



After reading KK's blog, I was inspired to write about my 'core values.' To me, the things I've learned over the past several years to help get me back on track...the taking the bull by the horns. See I have become cocky. I go to my WW meetings and see other Lifetimers that have fallen on the wagon and think, "I'm glad that's not me. I don't have any trouble with maintaining." HHAAAAA I say. I have gained 9 lbs. since my lowest weight. Now the hubs has been wanting me to gain this weight and thinks I look good. I do not. I think and feel fat. I do not feel strong. I do not feel good about myself. And to top it off, ALL of the pants I fit in in the spring are too tight. My muffin top is still here. The hubs just says to get my bigger pants back out or go buy more. Buy more??? I have already gone through at least 3 complete wardrobe size changes. He should be the last person to tell me to spend more family money on new clothes. So as of now, like many other bloggers I've been reading, I am taking control of this NOW. So, here are the things I've learned, that I need to remember and put into practice:

1. Portion control is key- Measure whenever possible.


2. Eat breakfast that has a combo of carbs, protein, and fiber.


3. Track what you eat...WRITE IT DOWN.


4. Be familiar with labels.


5. Only eat when hungry...not when bored, stressed, mad, happy, etc.


6. Stop eating when full.


7. Don't eat when you're not hungry even when you're doing it to "get your points it."


8. Plan!!! Plan daily meals, plan what you will eat when you go out, and plan what to do when you're first plan falls through.


9. Prep your week. Keep bringing your weeks worth of lunches to school on Monday. It's time saving.


10. Know your trigger foods and avoid them...Cheez-It's, chocolate covered pretzels, cookies, brownies, certain breads, etc. Mostly carbs.


11. Exercise a minimum of 4 days a week 30 minutes a day.


12. Stop munching off of your children's plates.


13. Give myself me time...usually a bubble bath during nap time.


14. Reward self with nonfood items like pedicures, massages, or a new pair of shoes!


15. Be HONEST with yourself.


16. Be accountable.


17. Eat filling snacks that are a combo or protein and carbs..not just carbs.


18. Listen to the voice inside my head.


19. You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight.


20. Forgive yourself for being human.


21. Just say no to food pushers and saboteurs.


22. Know that just because you loose the weight doesn't mean you will have a perfect body.


23. Enjoy not begrudge your new lifestyle!!!

Issue #4 Managing my Stress

*Sigh* I have been doing Weight Watchers since 2005. I know about the importance of portion control, eating until you're satisfied, moving everyday, and managing your mental health. I am aware of these things. What I struggle with STILL, is managing my stress. I know that exercising is supposed to be a great stress relief. I know meditation is supposed to be cleansing for the soul. I know that you shouldn't eat mindlessly when stressed. I KNOW all of these things. I just have a hard time doing what I need to do.

For example, I knew that the beginning of the school year would be stressful for me. So, I made my goal to run my first 1/2 marathon so I would keep running. I did that and completed my race. Since then (Oct. 15) I have exercised a total of 5 (that's right...one number after 4 and not quite 6) times. To give myself one tiny excuse, I did get sick twice within weeks of each other. One a common cold. The other, I had Parvo. "Parvo? Isn't that what dogs get?" Yes I know what you were thinking because I asked my doctor the same thing. I found out the Parvo 19 is the virus that causes 5ths Disease. What's that you ask? It's in the same family as chicken pox and measles. My doc told me most people my age have already had it, but I'm special. I didn't even get chicken pox until I was 21 years old. In young children, they get a rash and their cheeks look red like they've been slapped. In old people like me, you get a low grade fever and rheumatoid arthritis symptoms that can last up to 3 months! I couldn't even pick up my kids. Normally, I can pick them both up with one arm. When I was full blown sick, I couldn't pick up one with both arms. But back to the not exercising, I have had plenty of days when I have been fine and still didn't work out. I just couldn't wake up at 5:00. I could, just didn't want to. The snooze button appealed to me more.

Some friends of mine from work heard about a Jingle Bell run here on Dec. 13. It was just a 5K and even though I had only run a couple of times I thought I could still handle it. Yeah right. I can't believe how quickly I got out of shape. I ran the whole thing but was dragging! And I was super sore the next couple of days. I have never run in snow so that was different. It was also 10 degrees outside! We finished in 32 minutes. Again, I was happy with my time considering. But I finished my last 5K in 26 minutes. Big difference.

Now, I am doing what I knew I would do at the beginning of the year. Choosing sleep over exercise. Choosing laziness over healthiness. Choosing to veg out in front of my TV at night after my boys are asleep rather than blogging. I know I feel better when I blog. It's cathartic and I get great inspiration and advice. I know I feel better when I run. I have a better start to my day and my body looks better. But...I have not been doing it. I just have been spent. I am sorry if you were a regular reader. I am trying to get better. Usually I'm great at juggling multiple things in my life, but lately I suck.

I TRULY want to learn how to meditate. I just can't seem to turn my brain off. I try to just say a phrase over and over, but then my mind starts spinning with things I need to do, should have done, or regret doing. Any meditators out there have any advice? We had a snow day today so I did 5 miles. Yeah. Maybe I'm on a roll...3 times I've run this week including the Jingle Bell Run. I don't want to wait until Jan. 1st to get it together. I want to and will get it together starting now!

Still tired but Better

So I figured out why I was so tired. I finally got sick. I was fighting it and fighting it to not get sick before my race, but then I wasn't as vigilant on my Emer-gen-C and whaalaa...sickness. I have to be careful with head colds since I have asthma because it can easily go into my chest. So needless to say I have run TWO count them TWO times in the last 3 weeks. Ackk...I am going to be so out of shape.

Also, I think I've turned into a crazy person. How so you ask? I have conversations with myself and I don't listen to myself. Who does that??? How can I get mad at my husband for not listening to me when I don't even listen to me. Here's an example....Saturday night that Halloween candy had been nagging at me. I said to myself, "Self...just have one Nutragegous since you haven't had one in a very long time. But that's all. Just one piece." So in I popped that Nutrageous. But then I found my body creeping into kitchen and spying into the bucket pulling out a Reese's Stick. I said to myself, "Hey self! What happened to just having one piece?" "Hey, hello??? "Why are you," "eating that????" So then when that piece was finished, I was sneaking into the bucket yet AGAIN. This time, a Heath bar was my victim. Again I said to myself, "Self, you bitch and you moan about the lovely lady lumps that reside on the top of your ass...why are you eating more frickin candy???? Hellooooo hypocrite. What the hell are you doing????" But did I listen to myself? Nope. Nada. Negative. I am proud to say that I have not had this problem with the Halloween candy since. But every once in awhile I have a night like this. Where I argue with myself but still continue to mindlessly eat. Why? Why? Why? I was more strict with myself when I was losing weight than now when I am maintaining. I still see myself losing weight though because I still have 5 presurgery pounds to get rid of. But still. Normally if someone else told me this situation I'd say, "Maybe you're being too restrictive with yourself?" Well with Weight Watchers, we have 35 flex points to use however we wish. I usually use them for a treat or two and for Papa Murphy's Hawaiian DeLite pizza for dinner. But yet, I still have a freak out night every once in awhile. I need to figure out why. Stress? Not enough protein during the day? I'm nuts and like to sabotage myself? Not sure. This is another reason I have issues.

On a COMPLETELY different topic. Can I just say how proud and amazed I am that we may have a black president? I honestly never thought I'd live to see the day to tell you the truth. Being a black female, this has been an historic and truly awe inspiring time to have an African American and a female both in the running. I have seen woman, like Geraldine Ferraro, run before for vice president and be close though. I have NEVER seen an African American be this close. I am very proud this evening.

Tired Anyone???

I've heard that your body can take a couple of weeks to recover from a race. I hope that's my problem because, can I BE any more tired (said in my best Chandler impersonation). Uggh. Every night I've been in bed early hence again my lackage of blogging.

I went to my plastics doc yesterday for a few touch ups. She tried a belly button lift and got rid of a "dog ear" on my side. It kind of looked like a nipple sticking out of my side from my scar (tummy tuck). Right now I'm feeling a bit sore and swollen in those areas. She said she may need to go in to do the belly button again. My skin just got stretched beyond recognition from the combination of being fat and then having two healthy babies in me. It's like that old sweater you love but now the arms hang to the floor and it hangs off your shoulders because it's been stretched out too much? Yeah..that's what my tummy looked like. My skin has just been very hard to deal with.

In the last blog, we were off to the farms and I promised pics so here they are:

First, they grabbed some punkins

Then, my darling duo sat in a tractor tire

Then it was family photo time


After that, I got a little lovin'

Sat in an old car (all 3 looking I can't believe it)

Went through several hay mazes

Rode some ponies

Rode a few trains and bounced on some castles

Made it to the castle in the middle of a corn maze

But we never found the great pumpkin in the pumpkin patchI LOVE living where I live. I have the city life and country life within a 30 miles radius!!! Happy fall everyone.

Tagged!

I've been meaning to blog about this but I had a super busy week. We had our Open House and I always have to work hard on that week to get everything ready. I was tagged by N.D. and have to write 6 random things about me. Here goes:

1. I always thought when I grew up I'd be a dancer. A Solid Gold Dancer to be exact (that ages me I'm sure).


2. I prefer white chocolate over milk or dark chocolate any day of the week.


3. I have never known what it's like to live with both your mom and dad. My mom divorced my dad when I was 1. I now haven't spoken to my dad in almost 2 years. Oh, and my mom is white and my father is black. I LOVES my mom. She's here at my house EVERY weekend to help with the kids.
4. I was voted Funniest Girl and Class Clown my senior year. I now get paid back everyday in my classroom.
5. I LOVE trashy, silly, bad taste movies and always have. I actually went to see Pee Wee's Big Adventure TWICE in the movie theatre back in the day. We even jumped up and did his dance with him in the middle of the movie.
6. I had braces in Jr. high and high school and I still have a permanent retainer on my lower front teeth.

On the exercise front, I took this entire week off to recover from my 1/2 marathon. I will go for a nice run tomorrow. Today, I'm taking the family to some pumpkin patches. Will ost some pics later!!

Port-a-Potty

That's where I was when my race started...in a port-a-potty. By the time I got out, I had to sprint to catch up with the police car that was following the crowd. I had to haul ass to catch up with the race but I did. There were about 25 of us in line for the bathrooms and we were all stressing that we were going to be late and we were. So my hubs got no pictures of me at the start of the race since I ran out of the bathroom, past him, said a love you and was off. I had to have on 2 shirts and a light jacket, long pants, and my running gloves. It was sunny and about 35 degrees. I was grateful for no rain or wind. I took my water bottle and one double latte PowerBar gel.



I spent a couple of hours the night before making a running compilation. It was perfect. I didn't have to mess with my ipod at all. Music is so motivating to me. I really don't see how others go without it.


The city I live in is really pretty and has a river essentially running through it. Our race ran along the river. We ran on streets, our Centennial Trail, and a few dirt roads even. I was surprised we didn't have a timing chip since this was a rather large race. There were a ton of races happening at once: Marathon, marathon relay, 1/2 marathon, and a 5 mile. I don't know how they kept it all straight. I had about 3 people I kept my eye on that I wanted to stay with. They seemed like they were running at a pace I wanted to stick with. I can't believe how much I hate it when someone passes me. I let it go a little if it's a guy, but when it's another chick ggrrrrr. The 2 girls I had my eye on had passed me so my competitiveness wanted to stick with them. At one of the water stations I took them since they both stopped for water and I kept going since I had my own water. Near the end of the race though I was running out of gas and 2 different ladies passed me. I was OK with it though because I couldn't go any faster than I was.





Here are my overall results:


Finished: 1:48:52


Average pace: 8 min. 14 sec.


Age/Female group: 6th


Overall place: 131/675




One of the ladies that passed me said to me at the end, "Thank you. You really pushed me." That made me feel good. I felt a huge sense of accomplishment after it was done. Never in my whole like until recently did I EVER think that I, ME, MOI could run 13.1 miles! That just didn't even seem like a reality to me. Now I'm even considering trying a marathon. IT still seems out of the realm of possibility, but so did a 1/2.





Here's the weird thing. About a half an hour after my race, I had my lowfat chocolate milk for recovery food. I even had 1 (maybe 2) Krispy Kreme's (I know don't judge me! I had aunt flo talking to me and I've never had one before). Suddenly, when I got home my body started crashing. I could not get warm and all I wanted to do was jump into a hot bath. I knew I needed a cold bath though. So I got into a cold bath and my teeth chattered the whole time. My muscles felt good but I was now FREEZING. On top of that, my tummy went all kinds of crazy. I mean...it was not good. I was laid up in bed for 6 hours. I couldn't be more than 10 feet from the bathroom or I had a problem. I have a VERY sensitive tummy. Every time I go on a vacation, I always get "traveler's tummy." I think maybe I got so anxious for this race, that I made my tummy go nuts. It started the night before and I was making great food choices. I did finally find some Luna Moons and tried them, but I don't thing just eating 6 of those could have caused what happened to me yesterday. Not to be too graphic, but I weighed 5 lbs. less today than yesterday...that's how bad it was. It's doing better now, but not 100%. I hope this is not what will happen every time, because I don't think I can keep racing if it does. But for now, I already have my sights an another 1/2 marathon in March!! Here are a few unflattering photos:

Before the race:

Waiting in a HUGE line for the Port-a-Potty

My reaction to the hubs saying, "Go back. I didn't get the shot."

Me going back under the clock to get the pic.

Race Day

It's race day and guess who came to visit me? My dear, old, sweet Aunt Flo. Curse you womanhood!!! AND there's frost on the ground. FROST!!! I can do this.....I can do this..I can this AND kick ass.

So I tried PowerBar Gel in vanilla and it was pretty good tasting and I didn't notice any GI issues.

Last weekend, I saw some sports chew that I'd never seen before. The top is for adults and the bottom is a kids version. They are supposed to be organic and healthy. I might give it a try today.

I tried the Jelly Belly Sports beans before and again my tummy churned. My son ate a few before one of his soccer games and his tummy had issues too. That's what I get for letting my 7 year old eat something with extra energy. I might try the sports chews today.

I'm going to go back a couple today for my race tomorrow. I checked the weather for tomorrow and it will be cold but sunny. Yeah!!! I don't want to run in the rain since I don't have the gear and my dear (cheap) hubs will throw an ever lovin fit if I buy an expensive jacket just for my race. I do need to buy a new pair of running gloves though since I can only find one. That happens a lot around my house. I think the last thing I need is a nice pair of cushioning socks too. I pick up my packet today! I hope it has some good stuff in it :).

On the sickness front...no throw up yesterday! Woohooo!!! And none for me either. Just a runny nose and slight sore throat still. My husband is actually going to drive me to my race, take pictures of me at the start and finish of it! This is big. My husband thinks watching races sounds boring so he hasn't gone to any. And my race is tomorrow. You know Sunday. Ya know...football Sunday. I'm usually a Sunday widow. My hubs and his friends go watch football at a local sports bar every Sunday to cheer on their Fantasy Football teams. He doesn't do family things or anything on Sundays except that. So this is HUGE and means a lot to me.

Last, I know I've heard of people carbo loading before a big race, but I've also heard this doesn't make a difference it's what you eat 2 weeks prior to the race that matters. So my question, do any of you have a certain meal you eat the night before a race? On Saturday nights, our ritual is eating a DeLite pizza. This usually is fine for the tummers, but I've been advised to avoid dairy 24 hours before a race. So...just wondering if anyone has a go to meal?

3 More Days

It's three more days until my first 1/2 marathon that I've been training for! What I've been fighting against this week though are sick people EVERYWHERE! I'm doomed when it comes to germs. I'm an elementary school teacher, have 3 kids, and 2 of them go to daycare!!! Since Friday, I have had someone throwing up near, around, or on me except for Tuesday (mysterious). Yes my darling duo are doing a tag team puke-a-thon, thus my absence from blogging since Friday. In fact, according to one of them last night I was only HIS mommy!!! I have been taking everything under the sun to avoid getting sick. I hope I don't keel over from toxic shock syndrome from all the herbs I'm pumping in me. I'm drinking E-mergen-C twice a day, sucking on zinc lozenges twice daily, and now added a new powder to drink called Umcka. A coworker swore by it so I'll try it. Right now I have a runny nose and a tiny sore throat, but I'm not vomiting so I'm A-OK.

Since my last blog I was off to jump into a hot bath after icing my knee. This was a HUGE mistake of gianormous proportions!!! I could actually feel my heart beating inside of my knee. Not a good feeling. I will stick to just ice for now. My knees for the most part are feeling better since I bought my new kix: Saucony ProGrid Omni 7 Moderates.

On Saturday it was a gray, misty morning. I was surprised at how vacant the trail was. Last weekend, there were tons of people, but they were running clubs. Apparently, they run a different part of the trail on alternate Saturdays. It was quiet and peaceful, but frankly I like it when the trail is busy. More witnesses if ya know what I'm saying. Anyway, I took my new water bottle, filled it with Ultima Replienisher electolyte power and water, and a pack of Strawberry Banana Gu to try. I ate 2 pieces of lite WW bread with PB2 on them before the run. I was off but my legs felt heavy. They aren't usually like that but I made my regular time. That was strange to me because I felt like I was moving slower. Go figure. As I ran, I tried taking small sips of my water. At mile 4 I went off my trail to tackle a hill. A mile long hill to be exact. A mile long hill at a 10% grade!!! Holy hell this was hard....but I never walked. I just kept on going slow and steady. At the top is where I gave myself my GU. It tasted surprisingly good. What a relief to be able to run down hill one of my miles! I was waiting for my knee to start aching, but it felt good (new shoes I tell ya)! I was able to finish my 10 miles in 93 minutes...3 minutes slower than last week, but I didn't dot he monster hill last week either. Here's my product review:

Strawberry Banana GU- Taste: good GI Issue- Tummy gurgled and churned the rest of the day

Ultima Replenisher- Taste: ack GI Issue- Instead heartburn and burbage all through my run

Mocha Clif Shot- Taste: eewwww GI issue- None


Tomorrow I'll see what the PowerBar gel tastes like. I might just Milky Way it. Good luck to my girls who read this blog and are also racing this weekend!!!

Just Over a Week to Go

My Half Marathon is next Sunday! My knees are still aching. In fact, I was limping to bed last night. I fell asleep with ice on top and bottom of my knee and when I woke up it felt better. I read on Runner's World different symptoms of knee ailments and mine sounds like "runner's knee." They suggest backing off on mileage for now, which is an option next week since it's my taper week. I bought a new pair of shoes despite hubs argument still. I'm hoping that will help my problem. Running 6 miles on the treadmill today hurt my other knee now!

I also bought a small handheld bottle to carry on my run. I tried it out this morning and it wasn't as bad as I thought. It's really weird for me since I've never had anything to drink on a run. I have to get used to small sips. I probably should have been doing this sooner than a week before race day, but hopefully I'll adjust. Tomorrow I'm going to try peanut butter toast before my run, as well as some Clif Goo during. The goo freaks me out a bit. Anyone have a fav to recommend? I still don't even know if I need it, but it can't hurt right? I'd rather have it than not finish this race. I've purchased several different brands to try which might be cutting it close right now. I tried a PowerBar chew thing that's supposed to be similar to Clif Shot Bloks. Didn't like it at ALL. I thought I'd choke if I tried to eat that while running. I also have electrolyte powder to add to my water.

Thanks to all you runners for your advice for this newbie here. Currently as I type, there's ice on the knee and I have a warm bath I'm about to jump in. Oh, and I have been really hungry lately. Especially at night. Unfortunately, I have been giving in and eating the wrong things which has showed up in the form of 2 pounds on the scale. On Fiterella's sight, it has a guide to how much you should be eating according to your activity level and if you want to lose or maintain your weight. Since I'm STILL not back to my presurgery weight, I have been wanting to lose weight. Therefore, I've been trying to eat just 1500 calories a day. I'm down 3 pounds, but still would like to be back to what I was. I drive my husband crazy. He wants to know why I'm obsessed about getting back to that weight. Well the way my clothes still fit for one thing! He thinks it's not the extra weight that's causing my muffin top, but the fact that I'm wearing normal undies now compared to the fat-sucking-in ones that I used to wear daily. They went almost to my bra to hide my loose skin. So I could have had this back fat before and just couldn't tell. But now that my loose skin is gone, I don't want to have to wear the ugly granny panties anymore. I guess I'll have to pick the lesser of two evils. Anyhoo, my bath awaits me!

Monday- Ran 8.5 miles including 2 sets of 2:00, 3:00 & 4:00 sprints
Tuesday- rest
Wednesday- Ran 7 miles including 4 2:00 sprints and 6 gentle pickups
Thursday- rest
Friday- 6.7 miles
Tomorrow- 10 miles!

September Goal Reflection-
#1 Running 4 times a week- Accomplished
#2 Lifting Weights/Cross train 3 times a week- Not enough, very sporadic
#3 Exercise for a total of 120 miles- Close 112.36
#4 Continue Push Up challenge- Yes and redoing Week 4
#5 Say, "Thank you," to a compliment- Did AMAZINGLY well with this goal

Will think of October goals for next post.

Attention All Athletes

So since my Saturday night out with old friends, I have been going forward with my HM training. I ran 36 miles last week! Also, I did week 4 of the pushup challenge, but I need to do it again. It was the first week where I could barely finish the sets. So, since my last blog I hit a major milestone in my life. I ran my first 10 miles on Saturday! I ran it in an hour and a half. It felt like a huge accomplishment! But since I have been running 8 or more miles the last couple of weeks, my knees are starting to hurt! I have had to ice them nightly. When I'm at work, they are cracking all the time. My knees haven't acted up in years, so I'm surprised at the sudden pain I'm feeling. My race is in less than 2 weeks though, so unless I drop dead or have to have crutches, I WILL run this race. I heard I might need to replace my shoes again. I'll try it and see. I don't think I've run 500 miles yet, and my dear old hubs thinks it's BS. He said to me, "Cars weigh 2 tons and they don't need a tire change for 30,000 miles. How can you have worn out your shoes that you just bought in May?" He held them up to me and said they look brand new and he sees no holes so what's the problem? My hubs is sweet but a bit of a cheap skate. I've been trying to stretch and massage my legs to see if it helps. I've read ice baths help but that sounds H-O-R-R-I-D. Any other thoughts?

Also, I have been reading more about running and found out I better buy a running belt or handheld bottle with some Gatorade type fluids in it so I don't "hit the wall." I usually don't like to drink water while I run because I easily get side aches. When I went to my local running store this weekend, he told me I definitely NEED to be drinking and it could be what I eat before I run that gives me side cramps. So, since up until now my runs have been under an hour, I wasn't eating at all. Lately, I've been eating a Luna Nutrition for Women bar an hour before I run. I need advice. What do you runners eat before a race and how many hours prior to you eat it? I have one health condition that did not go away losing weight and that's the very embarrassing IBS. So many times when I run, I not only get pain in my side, but it jumps up to around my collar bone area and hurts enough to slow me down. I don't want to run out of energy, but I also don't want to wake up at 4 am so my body can digest my food before my 10:30 race. So..advice..eating tips...time tips...knee tips??? I'll take anything peeps. And even you nonrunners but peeps who workout...what do you eat before exercise? Thanks all!

I Could Get Used to This

On Saturday night, the hubs and I met up with a lot of old high school friends for a karaoke party. Many people I haven't seen in a few to up to 10 years. I feel almost guilty or conceded for these thoughts but...I can't tell you how great it felt to hear peoples reactions when they saw me. Mouths dropped to the ground...speechlessness...saying some inappropriate words. I saw one old friend who was one of many girls I went to high school with who could eat anything and everything she wanted and couldn't gain weight. Well we are in our 30's now and her metabolism has slowed down a bit. She yelled at me and told me I was making the rest of them look bad.

I've never been in this place before. The place of being smaller than all of my girl friends. None of them ever had a weight problem. None of them understood what it was like for me to watch them eat donuts for breakfast, candy on our breaks, pizza and fries for lunch or dinner and be stick thin. I would be sad and embarrassed to go shopping with them. I hated how they could all trade clothes with each other but not me. I hated being the fattest bridesmaid in ALL of their weddings. They were used to me like this. I was used to me like this. My friend who yelled at me last night yelled at me back in the day. "If you want to lose weight, lose weight. Get over it. It's not that hard. Look at me. I hate being called skinny. It's just as bad as me calling you fat." My best friend would blow a gasket if someone guessed her weight to be 125. "125, I'm not fat," would be her response. I remember thinking that was the weight I would tell people I weighed when I really weighed 140. If she thought 125 was fat, what did she really think of me?

So last night, it was interesting to watch them. They were turning into the old me. They'd look at me, then look down and their tummies and start grabbing and pulling at places. I frequently heard the words, "Whatever," "Shut up" "Oh my god." I finally got a bit irritated and told them to be nice. I was always the big girl. I've worked my ass of literally. Can't you just be happy for me? I'm not doing anything to purposely make you feel bad about yourself, I'm just trying to learn and live a healthy life. Why do most of us compare ourselves to others? It's a horrible, vicious cycle we do to ourselves.

I do understand though because that's how I used to be. Just being around those skinny girls made me feel bad about myself. Again, they weren't doing anything to me, but it felt like a conspiracy. That all these girls had a trick or knew a secret and wouldn't share it with me. They were all in their thin club, humoring me because I was the funny fat girl. None of them worked for their young bodies before. They didn't watch what they ate. They definitely didn't work out, though a few did some sports. But they are doing the same things now as they did then but they're getting different results. They find it insane that I run. They've never even heard of 5 or 10K's. I hope they all will go through the learning process that I had to. I feel good that I'm small because I worked for it. I was not given a naturally thin body. I have to work everyday. Those girls never had to do it before and are having a hard time doing it now. The best compliment I heard of the night was my own hubs saying to me, "You know you were the hottest girl there tonight right?" I could get used to this :).

Race Recap- 2nd Place Female

For this race, I was surprised at the disorganization of the whole thing. First, I went to register online like I always do. Paypal got my payment amazingly enough, but not my age, sex, or race I was doing. Then, I almost didn't go in on Friday to register since they said they were only registering until 4:30. Luckily I called and they told me it was a typo and that I could come until 6. When I went to register, I had already emailed someone with my info that paypal lost, but yet AGAIN they didn't have my info just my moolah. They did give me a goodie bag that was a green reusable grocery bag, some YMCA pamphlets, chap stick, a Bumble Bar (which tasted and looked like birdseed), chapstick, a vitamin water, and a t-shirt. Their were two races simultaneously, a 5K and a 10K. The trail the race was on is open to the public, so we all had to crowd on the sides to let bicyclists and other walker/runners not involved in the race (hence my problem last weekend) through. Once the race started, I watched about 15 guys and 1 chick go sprinting like they were on fire or something. They were not fooling around. I'm used to this trail and it only has gentle inclines and declines. It was perfect weather, overcast but about 60 degrees. Since this race was 3.1 miles in and then you turn around, I knew what place I was in for the females...2nd! The first place girl smoked me probably by 5 or 10 minutes. I was proud of myself though because no one passed me and I passed 2 men! Two dudes!!! That's never happened in the middle or end of a race before, but it did this time! When the race was over, I had a woman and a couple tell me my pink shorts were their focus point. "We kept trying to catch you, but you had a really good pace." The bummer at the end was, I forgot my husbands watch, I don't have a fancy running watch yet (any suggestions for me to ask for at Christmas??), and they weren't timing us! They said to me, "This wasn't a timed event, but would you like it to be next year?" Umm let me see...YYEESSSS! I hate when I don't know my time. The 4th place gal had a clock on and hers was stopped at 48:00 so I assume I did it in 47:00 which is a PR for me! No pics of me either except a few my mama took of me before the race. I'll have to post them when she downloads her camera. Knowing my mom though, that could be in 6 months!!! Anyway, I felt good about my race again and am feeling more and more confident that I'll be ready for my HM in October!

Weekly Workouts

So tomorrow I have another race in my HM training schedule. It's another small race (in numbers I mean). A 10K this time. It's on the same trail the ALS walkers were on, but it sounds like this race is much smaller. I'm surprised because it too is a worthy cause, it's a race to fight hunger. It starts at 9:00 and then there are a ton of festivities I'm going to take my kiddos to. I have to take grandma with me because it's a 2 person job whenever I try to take my darling duo out in public. They will have pony rides, a petting zoo, bouncy castles, and a fishing pond (with real fish). It should be a chaotic kind of fun. Here are my workouts for the week:

Monday- Ran 3 miles, 2 X 2:00 AI, 2 X 2:30 AI, 1 x 3:00 AI + 6 gentle pickups for a total of 5.7 miles
Tuesday- Rest
Wednesday- 1 mile uphill, 1 mile with 2 GP, repeat 2 more times for a total of 6.1 miles
Thursday- Week 3 day 3 push up challenge 30, 22,22, 20, 35 that's 124 push ups!!!
Friday- 4.5 miles in 43 minutes

I'll post my race results over the weekend. Wish me luck!

Feeling More "Normal" One Day at a Time

Ack I don't know how you folks do it keeping up with posts, commenting, etc. plus work and kids. Anyhoo, my 8 miler on Saturday was interesting to say the least. I run on a paved trail used by many walkers, bicyclists, roller-bladers, runners, etc. In fact, it goes from one city in my state to a neighboring city in another state...over 30 miles just one way. As I started on the trail, I saw tons of signs saying, "Caution Walkers Ahead." There were also signs of encouragement from business owners and family members. As I was going in for my first 4 miles, it was busy but no major walking event that I could see. As I was coming back for my 2nd 4 miles, I was coming down from a slight hill and there I saw them. Herds of them. Hundreds of them. Walkers all just starting their walk in the same direction I was headed. They were walking to raise money and awareness for ALS. I thought it was great because I wasn't sure what ALS was so I made sure to look it up when I got home. It's Lou Gerigh's disease and it sounds horrible. A very worthy casue. But, I wasn't sure what to do since they were taking up the entire width of the trail. I didn't know if I should just run on the streets, walk behind them, or try to pass them. I did the later of the three. I was running in gravel, through bushes, under tree branches, past dogs, etc. I felt like I couldn't stop my run because I'm building endurance. This crowd came around my 6 mile marker. It took me most of the 7th mile to pass all of them, which I did. The last mile was easy sailing. I was proud that I still ran my 8 miles in 70 minutes considering the wall of people I had to move around.

I have been noticing that I am receiving compliments easier than I used to. I'm not sure if I thought I'd be conceded taking compliments or what but I mostly think I just didn't agree with their assessment. One day in particular, I had a new outfit on that the hubs and I disagreed about. I thought it was cute and he thought it was just alright. Almost all of my staff and several parents commented on the outfit (which to me proves that I have better taste than the hubs :)). But, I simply said, "Thank you," to each and every compliment. Not, "Well I used to be almost 200 lbs," or "Well you should have seen me before, " or "I'm not skinny. You're high," like I normally did. I also am finally seeing a sort of smallness to my body. When I was sitting in a meeting with other parents, for some reason I was looking at the width of my legs and hips compared to others around me. I did notice I was smaller than many of them. I'm also not doubling taking as much to my own reflection as I used to. I really am trying to "fake it til I make it" with my body image. Plus, it always makes me feel better when the scale is showing my hard work. I have been adding a lot of HIT's to my runs and it's showing on the scale. That lil bugger hadn't moved in awhile, but it's finally starting to get back to normal. I am evolving I tell you. Who would I be if I wasn't the fat, cynical, self-deprecated, class clown girl? I didn't know, but I'm starting to find out.

"How Did You Stay With It?"

This is the new reoccurring question I keep getting. How did you STAY at weight watchers, how did you STAY motivated, how did you STAY on track? Often, I have people ask me how I lost my weight. I tell them Weight Watchers. Then I might hear a comment like, "Well I do Weight Watchers and I haven't lost any weight," or "I go for about a week, lose 5 lbs. and then I'm over it." These comments are always perplexing to me. I think the difference might be beyond motivation or will power. I think it's about your mind set. I had tried other diets before and had little success. I jumped on the Oprah diet bandwagon. I bought all of Dr. Phil's weight loss books. Even had a short love affair with Phen Fen. The problem was, I had a DIET mind set while on these. My thoughts would be, "How fast can I lose this weight," and "I can't wait until I lose weight so I can eat bread again," etc. This type of mind set will lead to failure ever time. I think the people who say they're on weight watchers and can't loose weight have a diet mind set. A quick fix mentality if you will.

I am a very goal oriented person. I needs goals in my life. When I joined weight watchers, I had a goal. My goal was to get to a healthy weight to no longer be prediabetic AND to be able to get pregnant. My sister-in-law had joined WW and lost 50 lbs. so I saw that it worked. Once I walked into my 1st WW meeting I was hooked. I did everything they told me. I figured out my points, wrote EVERYTHING I ate down, drank my water, made sure I was getting my fruits, dairy, and veggies. Well, I guess I shouldn't say everything, because they want you to get 2 tsp. of healthy oils daily, and I do have a problem getting that in. Anyway, I was on a mission and kept going until I accomplished my goal. There was never, "Maybe I'll get to goal or I might get to goal." It was always, "When I get to goal or I have to get to goal." I wasn't in it for a quick fix. I was in it to change my life. My mind set was on a LIFE STYLE change rather than on a diet.

After I had stopped nursing my darling duo, I knew I couldn't wait to get back to WW. I hear of people stopping and starting WW many times, of people getting to goal weight, leaving the program, and then coming back because they gained their weight back. I have not been one of those people. I have joined, committed to changing my life, and have stayed. WW is not just about tracking food, they encourage daily physical activity and different mind set tools. The mind set tools are what I will continue to work on since I have not yet conquered my thoughts yet.

So how did I stay? There was never any other option for me. If I didn't, I would have type 2 diabetes by now, continue to have acid reflux and be medicated daily, continue having to wear my darth vader mask at bed due to sleep apnea, puff on my inhaler daily, and probably just be the mother of one rather than 3. Not staying was never an option in my mind. I wasn't wishy-washy, I wasn't just going with the flow. I make a conscious effort every day to make positive changes for myself. I don't see doing it any other way now.

On the exercise front, here's how my week and HM training went:
Monday- Pilates bun and thighs, Week 3 Day 1 push up challenge: 25, 17, 17, 15, 25
Tuesday- Ran 3 miles, did 2:00, 2:30, 2:30 sprints, 2 miles for a total of 6.25 miles
Wednesday- Day 2 push up challenge 27, 19, 19, 15, 30
Thursday- Ran w/ 4 1:30 sprints and 6 gp for a total of 6 miles
Friday- Ran 4.5 miles
Saturday- Changing my long runs from Sundays to today, so I'm off to run 8 miles!

Pros and Cons of Running Outdoors

Thanks for all my props on the race. When I said it was small I mean it was SMALL. We didn't have race numbers, just stickers they asked us to wear on our shirts. I happened to lose mine without even realizing it until they asked for it at the finish line. There were no pictures taken and most of the people there were students, parents, or teachers at a private school who started this race as a fundraiser for the athletic department. But hey, it's probably the best place I'll ever get so I'm basking in my glory! Anyhoo, on Sunday my race training called for a 4-5 mile run after racing. I thought my legs or knee might hurt, which they did, but oddly enough running made them feel better! What's up with that??? I started my run around my neighborhood since I wasn't sure my knee was up for running. I have mapped out several routes around where I live so I thought I could estimate 5 miles. I don't have a fancy running watch yet. So I left my house at 10:05 and ran back into my kitchen at 11:00. Ack!!! I was confused. How did I run 5 miles in 55 minutes? My pace is usually faster than 10:00 min. miles. So what did I do with my compulsive self, I drove my route to measure it. What I thought was 5 miles was actually 6.1 so I was a bit happier with my pace. The good news for me was that I actually felt good the whole race. Many times when I run, I get tummy aches or shooting pains in my collar bone area. Not yesterday. I felt like I could have kept going, but I had a party to get to. Speaking of the party, no cake or ice cream, but I did have a few handfuls of chips. Pretty successful for me since normally if I eat one chip, I standing by and devour the whole bowl the rest of the function.

Well, while I was running I was making a list of pros and cons for running outside vs. my treadmill. So here is what I came up with:

Pros- Seeing the colors of nature...the green grass...beautiful flowers...live trees..crystal clear water.
Cons- The smells of cut grass kills me...seasonal allergies plus I have a thing with smells when I exercise.

Pros- Seeing different animals in their habitats...geese flying over head...a squirrel trying to catch a nut...baby bunnies running for cover.
Cons- Dogs not on their leashes that I'm afraid will chase after me and bite me in the ass!

Pros- The variety of views I get to see instead of my basement walls
Cons- Roadkill!

Pros- The view of the beautiful weather
Cons- Getting nailed in the face, arms, and legs with bugs of various sizes

Pros- It's more challenging running on streets for me than my treadmill
Cons- I feel nervous and eyeball any man in my near vicinity ready to gouge out an eyeball if need be

Biggest Pro- Time flies when I'm running outdoors!
Biggest Con- Not having a bathroom 20 feet away!

How about it runners? Have anymore to add to the list?

First Place Female

Boy starting school has been hectic and therefore I'm behind on my writing and reading blogs. Here's what's been happening this week. The most exciting news is that I ran a 5K today and won 1st place of all the females. It was a very small race, but there were a ton of young girls that I thought would smoke me. I finished in 26.15.27. The top overall finisher finished in 16 minutes! Are you kidding me??? That's never gonna happen here, but I'm proud of my time. Especially since the last mile was all uphill. And this is not some little low grade hill...I'm guessing this hill was at least a 7% incline and it was windy. My left knee hurts a bit either from:
A) Running down hill in a mowed wheat field.
B) Having to jump over a ditch going downhill.
C) Running up the switchbacks.

I went to my gym afterwards and soaked in the hot tub for a bit and then in the cold pool. It seems better and I hope so since I'm only at the end of week 3 in training and I can't afford any days off.

I was very frustrated that a dude who I saw stop to walk at least 3 times still beat me. I just couldn't catch him on that hill, but I did NOT stop to walk once!!! Yeah for me!!!

Let's see what else, oh , I want to add another goal for myself for September. I have an extremely hard time taking a compliment. Someone will compliment me and I somehow turn around and give myself a put down rather than take it, so my goal is to just say, "Thank you," to a compliment.

Also, I joined the Bad Boys vs. Bad Girls of Running challenge. The girls are behind so please check it out if you're getting miles in for workouts.

Wednesday- Bun & Thigh Pilates, week 2 day 2 push up challenge: 16, 13, 11, 11, 25, 2 sets of the following w/ 8 lb. weights: overhead press, bicep curls, tricep extensions, hammer curls, & bend over row.
Thursday- Run 4 miles including 5 1:00 sprints and 4 gentle pickups for 4.65 total
Friday- rest for race
Saturday- 5k Top Female Finisher WooHooo!!!!

Tomorrow I plan on a 5 mile run depending on how my knee and butt feels after today. I also have my best friends son's birthday party to go to. Maybe I can eat a small sliver of cake since I'm going to run in the am. Ya think? We'll see! My actual challenge isn't the cake usually, it's the chips that are around. I wonder if I'll ever think like a normal person when I go to functions. Most people are thankful that they don't have to cook and are getting a free meal. When I hear about buffets or free meals I panic since I'm not eating things that I'm controlling OR more importantly, I don't know the exact points on. I'm fine for indulging once and awhile, but I want to know the point value. I freak out if I don't know. Will I ever be over that? Will I ever not still be the fat girl inside? Things to ponder. For now I will just bask in my glory. Oh by the way, thank you all for recommending Body Glide for my problem. I actually have discovered I already have a product that works a bit the same. I use Aquaphor on my tummy tuck scar. It's a healing ointment and it has a vaseline type consistency and it's been great. I haven't bled at all even though it's still a newer wound.

How about any of you that struggle now or have struggled with weight in the past? Do you all get twitchy and nervous around open eating situations? Or is it just me?

Issue #3 My Body Image

So if you haven't noticed by now, I have a poor body image. I have always had it but thought it would magically go away once I lost my weight. But here it is staring me in the face and mirror everyday. I was reading my Shape magazine tonight and found a little blurb that fits me to a T. The author suggested that when you wake up and look in the mirror, instead of focusing on your flaws (ahem moi), tell yourself, "Hi beautiful," instead. The author said that when you constantly put yourself down it's a self fulfilling prophecy. You have to break the pattern of bashing into appreciating. This comes from the book Life Doesn't Begin 5 Pounds From Now by Jess Weiner. This sounds like a book I may need to read. Also, I've heard to stare at your body and find things about it you LIKE. OK so here goes...I like my calves. They are muscular and have no cellulite.

More positivity...I made it through my first day of school with my 2nd graders. A chatty but sweet bunch. My oldest son is also in 2nd grade at my school, but he's not in my classroom. Here we are before leaving the house:

Also, reflecting on August Goals here's how I did:

#1 Back to running at least 4 times a week- Accomplished

#2 Go to the Y for Stair Master and Weights at least 4 times a week- Work in progress

#3 Exercise for a total of 100 miles- Accomplished with 118.5 total miles!!!

September Goals-

#1 Continue my 1/2 marathon training

#2 Continue the 100 push-up challenge

#3 Cross train on rest days

Exercise over the weekend:

Saturday- 4 mile run + 8 mile hike with hubby up 1100 feet in elevation! We started at the base of the lake and climbed up to see this view:

Sunday- Long run of 7 miles

Monday- Week 2, day 1 of push up challenge: 12, 12, 9, 7, 25

Tuesday- Ran 2 miles, 1:00, 1:30, & 2:00 sprints, end with 2 miles for 5.65 total miles

Oh and something new has happened to me. I have heard of athletes chaffing after working out. I recently have done that under my tribal boobs. It's like I caused a blister. When I took off my shirt after my long run, you could see blood on my bra. When I lifted it up (you know about the tribal boobs right), it was rubbed raw. It hurt like a motha in the shower. So you exercise folks, this happen to any of you? What do you do to avoid/heal chaffing? I've heard it can happen on the back too.

Negative Nelly Trying to be Postitive

OK I'm motivated by Annette's purely positive attitude. With that in mind, here are positive changes I have made over my weight loss journey:

BEFORE: For dinner, I'd serve Noodle or Rice-a-Roni every night for a side dish

NOW: I serve brown rice or whole grain noodles occasionally for dinner

BEFORE: Ate fast food at least 4 times a week

NOW: Eat out once a week...usually Papa Murphy's Delite Hawaiian style pizza

BEFORE: Never thought about a portion or portion control

NOW: I anally measure out my food with a food scale or measuring cups...including my wine!

BEFORE: Breakfast would be Diet Dr. Pepper or Frappuccino , and pastry

NOW: Lower sugar Quaker oatmeal, Kashi Go Lean Crunch w/ nonfat milk, or on busy days a Clif Bar and fruit

BEFORE: I'd eat about 3-4 cookies for dessert without a second thought

NOW: Dessert can be fruit, yogurt, WW or Skinny Cow Fudgecicle, or sugar free pudding

BEFORE: Off and on exerciser with taking a step aerobics class here or taking walks there

NOW: Unless sick or recovery from surgery, I try to do something active at least 5 times a week

BEFORE: Ate Velveeta mac n cheese like no bodies business, and then the lower fat version came and ate twice as much since it was better for me

NOW: Mac n who?

BEFORE: On busy days, I'd be a Hamburger Helper fool

NOW: You couldn't pay me to eat that stuff

BEFORE: Drank alcohol most weekends

NOW: Occasionally/rarely drink

BEFORE: Never paid attention to food labels

NOW: Takes me twice as long to grocery shop since I'm inspecting every new label I encounter

BEFORE: Fav restaurant order: Denny's Sampler or All American Slam

NOW: Outback Steakhouse's Grill Chicken on the Barbie

BEFORE: Ate at brunch buffets for most holidays and plenty of other Sundays

NOW: We go to the park or do something as a family rather than it being about the food

BEFORE: Ate chips and french fries as if they were a veggie...you know...since they're made from potatoes!

NOW: Very rarely eat either since both are trigger foods for me

BEFORE: Drank anything and everything except water

NOW: Drink at least 64 oz. plus I make sure I drink a water bottle full before I get my next cup of coffee

BEFORE: Maximum amount of workout- walk 4 miles

NOW- Can run up to 7.5 miles

BEFORE: Size 18 clothes, XL -XXL shirts

NOW: Between a 2-4, size xs-s shirts

Reflecting back I am definitely a more healthy person. I am grateful, strangely, for my health scare and infertility because it woke me up to my out of control lifestyle. Making my changes, I now have my crazy, insane, no-fear but totally worth it, twins. And believe me, they help me with having an active lifestyle.

Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone!!!

Back to work is tiring and I haven't even met a student yet!

I've been an exhausted, emotional wreck the last 2 days. Setting up a classroom is hard work. I really hate it when people say to me, "Oh it must be nice to have 3 months off in the summer." Yes it is nice to have consecutive days off. But it's not 3 months, and believe me, I work way above and beyond my 7 hour day. I don't know many other people who stay at their jobs after they are "clocked out." I don't know of many people who take their work home and stay up to finish it and I don't know of many people who go in on their days off (holidays and weekends) to do their work and not get paid. I was at work today from 8:30 am until 8:30 pm. I am WIPED OUT!!!!

Anyway, here's my status: still pissed at my lovely lady lumps but I'll get over it. I never thought I'd see the day where I was pissed that I weight 125. That's the weight I always used to lie and say I was when I was really 140! Ha! I also should be grateful that I actually weigh less now than I did in high school and that I say I weighed on my driver's licence. Come on ladies, am I the only one who ALWAYS lied on my weight for that. I actually weigh less than it says now so I want to get it renewed for the 1st time in my life!

For exercise, I'm .5 miles away from my 100 mile goal for the month.

Wednesday- rest day for running, but did my buns and thighs Pilates video and day 2 of week 1 in the Push Up challenge: 12, 12, 10, 10, 12 plus 2 sets of 12 dips on my stairs

Thursday- Walked for 5 min. 4 rpms on a 4% incline, ran on 4% incline @ 5 rpms 1 mile, another mile on 1% w/ 4 gradual pickups from 6, 6.2, 6.4 then 6.8 rpms, repeat both for a total of 4 miles running, and 5 min. cool down at 4% incline 4 rpms. I felt my chest muscles running this morning from the push ups yesterday.

OK, off to bed for another long day so I don't have to go into work this Labor Day weekend.

Muscles-Better...Attitude-Crapola

My muscles feel much better today and handled running great. Today for my training I ran a 2 mile warm up, did 7 1:00 aerobic sprints which added up to a little over a mile with recovery time, and a 2 mile cool down. I was DRIPPING with sweat and loved it. I know I worked then. I am really glad I rested yesterday.

So as most of you know, due to two very healthy twins and a weight loss, I had a tummy tuck June 23. They removed a pound of skin so naturally, I expected to see myself weighing 1 pound less on the scale. That has NOT EVER HAPPENED. In fact, I have been up roughly 10 lbs. since this surgery. Could I blame it on fluid retention post surgery? Sure. Could I blame it on being on partial bed rest for 6 weeks? Perhaps. But whatever it is I have a frickin muffin top that I haven't had in a year and a half. My frickin jeans are tight and have hang over. What the hell??? Even now, I've been back to working out regularly for 3 weeks and has it showed on the scale? NO!!!! Am I allowing myself to eat more since I'm working out more and maybe that's it? NO!!!! So why is the weight sticking to me? It's pissing me off. I'd kick it's ass if it wasn't planted onto mine! GGrrrrr is about all I can say right now. Guh to the errrrrrrrrrrrrr. What's funny too is that I'm EXHAUSTED tonight and all I did most of the day was sit my ever growing ass and talk or listen to people talk. I'm glad I ran in the AM.

I am glad that I am following a 1/2 marathon training plan so I can feel better about "resting" today. Normally after having a hard workout day, if I'm sore, I would just tell myself to stop being a wimp, suck it up, and workout some more. Seeing scheduled rest days gives me permission to do just that...rest... because my muscles need it. Oh boy are they sore. Right now if my thighs could talk they would say,

"This is bull*%$#,
hell to the no,
oh-no-you-din't!!!"

I did a LOT of stretching today. Also, I kept myself moving most of the day because if I sit for too long and try to walk my legs say, "Think again!" It did have a nice, hot bath in my jacuzzi tub during nap time and that was fab-u-lous! I highly recommend long baths as any kind of reward for oneself. That along with a nice gossip mag and I am set! Tomorrow it's back to training and school for me. Question of the day: What do you do to ease sore muscles?

Weekend Happenings

Friday night I was invited to a coworkers house for a house warming party. There were drinks and appetizers there. I have been doing Weight Watchers since 2005 and I still struggle eating in social situations. Especially if there's alcohol involved. I felt like I did OK with only having 2 glasses of wine, but for some reason the MINUTE I have wine, all of my old eating habits come back. I just want to eat everything!!! Luckily, she had pretty healthy appetizers there: hummus and pita bread, chips and salsa, and fruit and dip. I was stupid to not eat dinner before going over there. Then I had one more drink of a fresh huckleberry martini (never had a martini in my life). It was good but it made me let my guard down some more. The host had left over carrot cake that she got out, set it on the table, and just gave everyone forks (minus the plate). I felt like a Hoover vacuum just sucking up that cake. I could not stop eating it. IT wasn't even real carrot cake but did I care? NO! I haven't had cake in months so I just went c-r-a-z-y!!! Not a wise choice. The one thing I am proud of was I was really needing some real food and passed several fast food restaurants on the way home. In the past, I would have had McDonalds all the way. I resisted the greasy, yet delicious after drinking, temptation. Yeah for me. The sad part is, I probably went to bed around 2 am and my darling duo came to wake me at 6 am. OK, I am not 21 anymore. Having no sleep, not enough nutrition the night before, plus a slight hangover kicked my ass. I was beat up feeling all day. The only productive thing I did Saturday was I did go on a 4 mile run! After that I had to have a 3 hour nap!

Sunday was better. I got a decent amount of sleep which helps tremendously. Then, I went on our local trail system that goes along our river and did my 1st long run for my 1/2 marathon training. It was 7 miles. Boy, I can't believe how fast I got out of shape. I ran a 12K in May in 59 minutes. Today was a bit shorter distance than that and it took me about an hour and 20 minutes. I did not stop once though! I had to keep telling myself that it's just the first week. I can get my speed back throughout this training...I don't have to do it all the 1st week. Then, I got a lot of work down in my classroom. I feel so much better when I am productive. I just feel bad that 2 days I was away from my kiddos a lot. They LOVE their grandma though and she was here all weekend. Ah mommy guilt. I'll save that for my next blog.

Intimidation Anyone?

So as you've been reading, I'm trying to become a runner. I'm still not sure if long distance running will be for me, but I'm willing to try it to see. But I can TOTALLY see how some people don't want to try new things. New things are intimidating. New things to me make me feel stupid. I hate feeling stupid so I usually resort to not trying it rather than looking stupid. Right now I'm reading all of these runners blogs and running sites. They speak in another language that I just don't get. I called my ultra athletic sister-in-law last night for some advice and she made me feel even more overwhelmed. I always thought running was just running but it's NOT apparently. Here are some examples:

Runners usually just use their outer leg muscles and are off balance with their inner leg muscles and so I should do some downhill training or else I can get a knee injury.

Runners do either in-outs or point to points.

Tempo runs

Gentle pick ups

Recovery food

Cross training

Luckily, when I started running I didn't do any research, I just ran. If I would have read all of this 1st, I would have dropped my head in shame and continued working out to my DVD's, at home, in private, where I wouldn't feel incompetent.

Today is a rest day in my training, so I did weights instead. Here's my workout for the morning:
100 push up challenge day 1:
10
10
8
6
10

2 sets of 15 dips on my stairs

Then the following with my 8 lb. weights, 2 sets of each:
squats
lunges
bent over row (thanks to Miz's blooper reel)
overhead press
alternating bicep curls
pull ups
single leg squats (oh this takes some serious balance)

1 set:
plank position tricep kick backs (again thanks Miz for the demo on the vid)
I actually worked up a sweat lifting at home. That may be a first! When you all do weights, do you at it at home or at the gym? How many days a week do you lift?

Getting Stabbed in the Eye with an Ice Pick

That used to be my choice over running. When people would tell me they were running, I'd think to myself, "Are you kidding me? Why? What's the point?" Running and myself were never on the same level. I used to be a very active child. I participated in soccer from grades 3-7 until I developed asthma and it was a struggle me. In jr. high, I was on the drill team and played basketball, volleyball, softball and track. In my 9th grade year, I injured my knee and how to go to physical therapy. In high school, I was on the drill team again so I danced about an hour a day. I LOVE to dance. In another life, I would have loved to learn to dance professionally. Right now, I just get my own grove on. In my senior year, I reinjured my my knee dancing and had to be on crutches for a month and go back to physical therapy. That year of high school, I dropped out of the dance team since they were more into the flags and I wanted to dance to MC Hammer. Not even realizing it, this is when my weight jumped up 20 lbs. It's taken me this long to figure out that my body needs to be active. I was active so long to just drop it was not a good thing.



I have been on this weight loss journey for a long time. I look back over the journals I've kept for the last 10 years. Besides my current weight, the lowest my weight was was 155 on my wedding day. Now a month earlier, I weighed 170. How did I drop the weight so fast? Like many people in the 90's: Phen Fen. I won't EVEN go into how stupid that was and how much it messed up my body. Quick fixes were my thing.



Having previous knee injuries and weighing 191 on this 5'4 frame it was HARD to walk let alone run. But walking and step aerobics is where I started. It's embarrassing to admit it, but my thighs used to chafe when I'd walk. They would burn and itch. My mom bought me some balm to put on before I walk to see if that would help. I liked step aerobics because it seemed dancey in nature. I have another embarrassing admission. Since I was on the dance team in school, I have pretty good rhythm and can catch onto routines easily. Even though I was bigger than many others in class, I could do the routines faster than many. I used to love being in the front of my class and showing my stuff. It made me smile when the instructors would point me out as someone to watch and follow. I'm horrible huh? I had to feel good about myself for something.



What's my point to all of this? There has to be SOMETHING active that each of us like to do and are physically able to do. I started out liking a certain type of exercise, but found as my weight dropped it was easier for me to try new things. I've read many of your blogs and a lot of your enjoy gardening. That's a great. low inpact exercise along with:

*walking

*housework

*swimming

*parking your car as far from a store as possible

*cleaning out your car

*playing with kids/grandkids

*taking a hike

*yoga

*cycling

*lifting light weights

*using the stairs rather than elevator

*dancing (with my kids is the most fun)

Last year when my school year began, I gave up running and pretty much exercising altogether until January. I do NOT and WILL not do that again. Right now, I have decided to train as if I will do the 1/2 marathon on October 12. It can't hurt. I'll still see about the race. I'm following an 8 week beginning training program from Runner's World. So here is how my week has been so far:

MONDAY- Stretched and rode bike pulling my monkeys through strong winds

TUESDAY- 5 min. warm up walking, ran 4 miles doing 7 - 1:00 speed intervals, 5 min cool down

WEDNESDAY- Cleaned classroom

THURSDAY- 5 min. warm up walking, ran 1 mile 4% incline, 1 gentle pickup, 1 mile 1% incline, 1 gentle pickup, 1 mile 4%, gentle pickup, last mile 1%, 5 min. cool down walking

I have to have a goal for myself, otherwise I slack. Another people with goals out there or advice on training for a 1/2 marathon?